The God of Jesters
Chapter 252 - 4.09.1 Choice of Ruination.

Chapter 252: 4.09.1 Choice of Ruination.

One can’t say for sure the choices Max would have made. But considering his nature and being somewhat kind even while being a hired killer went to show that he was a man of honor. Even during his job which required him to kill innocents, he did some homework, trying to find at least one excuse that his victim deserved his death.

A habit that turned useful not too long ago.

But this was not about his past, but Max’s future. And I can’t let him meet that thing so soon. For one, she is barely functioning and due to our lack of knowledge, some issues also arose. So better than making him look for questions and why did we the things we did. It’s better for him to be on his last legs, unable to do anything or make a choice that might be detrimental to our future.

My future.

So go ahead, sacrifice yourself, just like your master did for you. Of course, his state might have been better than yours. At least that’s what I understand from the inkling of memories I have been able to glean from your head.

"The one in the village is a dangerous being, you should know her kind. A Radiant Knight." At those words, Sheva understood the danger that was close. Even the fact that the light had probably startled the military, although it might take a while, powerful beings might rush here first before the military does.

"They would die." The Radiant Hall is an organization synonymous with invincibility when it comes to the number of transcendents it held and their madness when it comes to how they dealt with the corrupted.

Of course, most of it was hearsay, all of it done in order to put fear in the minds of mortals who come across the Taboo to not notify the Knights in fear of being treated as a criminal.

"That is what fate has ordained for them and although witnessing their demise might have been of interest. I don’t intend to do so. Nor do I suggest you do the same."

"You are asking me to run? That’s the choice you have given me?"

"Poor old friend, you are close to your freedom, to the money you have desired so much. Even the dreams you held. Even my master says that nothing can be done at this point. He is even ready to fulfill his promise and give you the money and resources you need."

"Of course, staying here would be easy on him and us. For one, he would not have to pay you. Which is not something I wish to see. So much of your effort will be wasted that way."

"So just move, leave them be. We can only leave them to fate."

Safe to say, Jara’s words made Sheva flinch. A hint of her old friend was shown behind that creepy frivolous stature of his. A deposition that she hadn’t seen for a long time.Which made her consider whether the persona he showed to her was an act or reality.

On the other hand, she was not so emotional to be swayed by her emotions in such a trying moment. She can’t make a single mistake as it would result in her demise.

Each choice of her would affect her rate of survival. Each choice of hers would dictate if others live or not.

But the worst part of it all, she even wonders if her choices matter in the game played by godly beings. She is a mere mortal surrounded by greater beings capable of inhuman feats. If not for her weapon, a sniper rifle, she would never dare to imagine that she could match them in any way.

So isn’t the best choice to just escape?

She knows she can’t make any worthwhile change in the situation or help Max, the most she can do is live and get the money that was offered to her.

Then she can go on to open an orphanage, just like she had dreamed of. An orphanage the likes of which would feed the needy like her, push those orphans towards a better future, and give them a choice, whereas she had none.

That’s the best way, the best path for her.

But then, she recalls a memory where Jara had smiled genuinely for the last time.

At that moment, she had made a rational decision instead of facing the trouble herself, which in turn cost Jara everything, including his sanity it seems.

A fact that she had regretted all her life.

’Do I really want to see the repeat of that?’

She knows in her heart the true reason why she wished to open an orphanage. Why did she take this job, why did she go to such extremes and do her best to help a stranger like Max?

She understands it all, as Sheva was never a brute, she wouldn’t have survived the war if she only fought without thinking. She knew the weight of her choices and the consequences they might have.

She knew it all, she was a lot more rational than she might appear to some, treating every problem like a game of choices, and she made the one that suited her goals the best.

Of course, this habit has backfired once, she had lost Jara due to it.

Now it might happen again.

"I will remain here." She remembers the night after Jara disappeared, how it pained her, how scared she was for the first time in her life. And when she was discharged, a pang of guilt had already set in, forcing her to live like a wastrel who did nothing but drink and fight like a madwoman.

She regretted it so much that she had also thought of rushing to her death in gambling and some other dangerous pursuits.

Of course when all else failed due to her inhuman strength that came with her physique and her insightful mind which stayed awake during those little games. She went directly to her home and put her old sniper in her mouth.

Ready to blast open her head and be relieved of such fate.

It was only then that Jara had appeared in front of her, showing he was alive, though not completely.

"Don’t be so stupid old friend... they are going to die. If we stay here... WE DIE! STOP with THIS..." Jara paused, he calmed down his breathing before saying again. "Don’t act childish. This is not something any of us can face. You can’t imagine the level of being that awakened in Bothal and the whole country is on edge due to him... there are many transcendents who wish to show themselves useful and come into his grace. Beings that are too strong, even for us." Jara couldn’t understand what was wrong with Sheva.

And why now?

Why would she put her life in danger for people she hadn’t known for long? People who had obviously killed. One of being a killer for god’s sake. So foolish, so unlike her old self.

Obviously, the rational choice here was to run. Run away from this place, and look forward to a better future. A future she had desired so much, one she had talked about so filled with love before.

Of course, not all will be true, the reality and fantasies are always different. Just like how he won’t exist along with her in reality.

But isn’t it better?

She can do more good by running from here, than helping Max, a man who was going to die anyways and a boy who obviously had a screw loose.

Sheva on the other hand, looking at the outburst of Jara, suddenly smiled. A smile so wide that it made Jara fall silent. "This is not the time to smile, you fool."

"I am just glad to know that you still exist there. So all is not lost."

"Getting sentimental are we?" Calming himself down, knowing that he has given himself away. He spoke a bit. "This is no time for jokes, Sheva. I got you this job putting myself on the line. Don’t let this opportunity go to waste."

"Jara, remember the night you told me about the serum? And you asked me if you should take it?"

"... You told me not to."

"Then do you know why I made such a suggestion?" At that question, Jara turned silent.

Yes, why would Sheva make a choice in a situation she didn’t even understand properly? This was unlike her.

"Let me answer that for you... You know Jara, before the serum, you were never a good liar. I could see it clearly, the fear you held toward the serum. So I just repeated what you wanted to hear."

"What are you getting at Sheva?"

"Then the night we fell in the encirclement of that witch, while we were fending off the attacks, she went to burn down our safe houses."

"..."

"At that moment, there was a rational choice to be made, one that would have helped us both survive that day. But do you know why we didn’t and fell deeper and deeper into the encirclement until you were forced to take the serum?’

At that question Jara turned silent, turning his head away from Sheva.

"What did you say that day? ’If we back out now, our whole regiment will be destroyed, we have to keep them distracted.’ So idealistic, so kind you were before."

"Just to save a few more of the soldiers, you opted to become the bait and I a fool followed you in as well."

"Do you know why we did it?"

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