The Emperor's Omega Is An Extra
Chapter 185: Not Crazy But Crazier

Chapter 185: Not Crazy But Crazier

Arren didn’t want to make it sound like he was interrogating Spade, but his tone was still low with evident anxiety within. The alpha wasn’t the only one walking on thin ice when the other was around.

He admitted to himself that staying in the mansion wasn’t only about him missing his father, but that he was having a hard time continuing with his oblivious act.

He figured out that it was better for them to be apart from each other for a while. Arren knew Spade could sense it and gave him space, which they really needed. But he realized that giving each other space wasn’t enough because they hadn’t addressed the issue in the first place.

It was only ignoring the problem, which would then become another problem for them to tackle.

Spade fell silent, and he didn’t immediately respond. Arren didn’t know if the alpha had heard him or if he was still processing what he saw. He didn’t want to think that Spade was ignoring him.

However, seeing the alpha become silent like this, the anxiety within grew. He was getting scared to know his answer.

"Spade, can you tell me... please?" Arren urged, his hold on the alpha’s arms tightening considerably, which he didn’t even notice as his complex emotions overwhelmed him instantly.

While he was scared, his stubbornness persisted. He wanted to know even more. Even if they fought, Arren wouldn’t back down this time. He felt like they, too, needed to vent their emotions on each other to breathe.

Just when do love and trust become insufficient in a relationship? No, it was always enough, but... Some circumstances needed words of assurance.

"Why aren’t you answering?" Arren was now so pissed that Spade wasn’t responding to him that his voice rose a few pitches. He knew letting his anxiety and emotions run rampant in his head was not the best, especially in this situation, but he couldn’t help it! He was getting irritated with each passing second.

This was a simple thing, but something that simple could also be the fuse for a couple’s fight. In some cases, it was always the simple stuff that led to a fight.

Spade flinched from his voice, and it seemed he finally recollected himself again. He held Arren’s hand, sensing an impending fight. "I had some kind of deja vu," he answered in a coaxing tone, trying to console Arren. "I’m sorry." Spade only apologized because he couldn’t respond immediately.

And yet that word truly made Arren furious. Okay, he was getting unreasonable. And he knew that, but he couldn’t help himself! If there was any other time, Arren would have been comforted by Spade’s coaxing tone, but he didn’t know what was happening to him this time.

It was like his emotions couldn’t be stopped as they surged, his mixed emotions got the worst of him and revealed something he had been escaping all this time.

He was afraid, terrified of those memories that occasionally haunt Spade. Arren knew it wasn’t him. All this time, he was scared to admit it. He was terrified of his thoughts—what might Spade think if he knew he wasn’t the real Arren? And that the alpha’s memories of the real Arren came back all at once?

Would he still... love him?

"Why are you saying sorry?" he yelled as he was enveloped by fear. His eyes darted after realizing it a second later, but he returned his gaze to the alpha. There was a blazing emotion in his eyes that had been ignited by this fear from hearing Spade had a deja vu in his room!

Why? He knew the indication of it, he had memories that he visited here before in the original plot. When Arren was not the one occupying this body! It had been confirmed that Arren wasn’t really a nameless extra, and the moment he occupied this body, he had already unknowingly ruined the plot from the beginning.

"Did you do something wrong for you to apologize?" His gaze became sharp, and he stared at the alpha directly, but deep inside him, Arren was already criticizing himself.

He was only putting on a brave and aggressive front when, deep inside, all he wanted was for Spade to assure him while hiding the growing inferiority deep within him.

Spade already sensed something was wrong as his brows knitted and he chased Arren’s hand that he was about to retract from the alpha’s arm. "I’m sorry because I can’t respond to it. Arren, what’s going on? Is there something wrong?" He was already panicking at how Arren was acting as though ready to lash out and determined to fight with him.

He tried to grasp the omega’s hand, hoping to make him calm down somewhat, but it was futile in the end. Arren withdrew his hands, at least he wanted to, but Spade was not letting go of him.

Arren chuckled sarcastically, "Is something wrong? Are you asking that Spade, really? We both know, something is fucking wrong!" he yelled again, even if he felt bad inside, there was no turning back. He decided to let out the complex emotions inside him.

Spade was stunned; his eyes widened at yet another outburst from Arren. This time, he couldn’t really calm Arren, even if he wanted to, and it might further irritate him.

"Arren," he called the omega’s name. He didn’t want to fight Arren, especially not at this time when he had a lot on his mind and all he wanted was a good night’s sleep by his lover’s side.

However, looking at how things were going, a fight was inevitable. Arren was so determined this time. He sighed heavily, and the headache he was feeling became intense.

"I know there’s something wrong, but... let’s just talk it out calmly. Please, Arren?" Spade’s voice was still soft and coaxing, trying his best to calm the raging omega.

His tired voice made Arren feel guilty, and his lips trembled as he clenched his other hand. He was also trying his best to calm down. However, he was also exhausted, and the rooted fear inside was making him even crazier.

Arren took a deep breath. Both were having a hard time, but at least he was now trying to keep his emotions in check, just like Spade. He was being unfair to the alpha, and just because he was scared, he took it out on him.

What was this? He was truly the worst. His mind was in chaos as the corners of his eyes heated up. Why was he like this? He didn’t want this either. He was just so... terrified. He didn’t want Spade to leave him or even resent him.

He raised his gaze, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. "I don’t think I can talk calmly, Spade. I think I’m crazy... No." He shook his head, his pupils constricting in a way that sent shivers down Spade’s spine. "I’m even crazier."

And the nightmare continued.