The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 181: Answer that begets even more questions

Chapter 181: Answer that begets even more questions

Valen.

It meant ’healthy’. When I knew what that name meant, I was already sick, so it felt like a cruel irony to me. Perhaps, my grandfather wanted me to grow up healthy, unlike my grandma who I resembled the most.

After I found myself in Valmeier’s body, I started to introduce myself simply as ’Val’, so every time people called me, I would be able to feel like they were actually calling me, and not Valmeier. Just a little silly trick of the mind.

I had hoped, I had wished, but I had never ever thought that someone would utter that name as they called me.

But why was it, that the name came out of Natha’s mouth?

"What--"

I stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the demon walking toward me. I was too stunned to even make a move, and before long, he stood in front of me.

With that moonlight gaze, he said it again. "Valen."

I might think that he called out a stranger with the same name as me in denial. But he said that with a clear gaze that told me he was calling for me. That it was my name. And he brushed my cheek, spreading his soothing coldness as if assuring me that yes, he was calling my name.

Which means...

"You...know?" my eyes widened at that, and I felt my heartbeat stop at this realization. "You know...I’m not Valmeier?"

"Of course I know," he said, frowning slightly as he answered. "You’re nothing like him."

The breath that I took stuttered in my lungs, and I let out a sound between a gasp and a choke.

"The way you talk, the way you move, your whole personality," he listed, "everything but your face is different."

What...

So he knew...from the start?!

"How..."

What was this? Why were things became even more confusing instead? Didn’t that mean he knew me way before? What did he say earlier...

Sixty-seven years?!

...oh, God.

"Are you..." I blinked, finally managed to move my diaphragm. "Are you...Nat?"

This time, it was him that took a deep breath. And then, slowly, I watched his form morph into that of a human, just like how lust demons do their transformation. Not long after, in front of me, I saw a familiar human that felt like he was a part of a faraway dream.

I stepped back while clasping my mouth.

Now, without the horn, the long hair, and the blue skin, I could see clearly, that he was ’him’, that young doctor I had a crush with. But...but how?!

I stumbled into the back of the chair, and he grasped me so I didn’t topple down. His hands were still cold, but human. It was weird, and confusing. Almost disturbing, even.

Slowly, he moved the chair around so I could sit there, and as I sat dazedly, blankly, he grabbed both of my hands, clasping them between his cold palms as he lowered himself to the floor.

I didn’t remember the doctor’s hands being cold, though.

But his next words confirmed it. "If what you mean is whether I’m the one you met on the rooftop of the hospital--then yes, I am him."

The breath that I took was rough, and I guessed my eyes were shaking because he kind of looked blurry right now. Or was it tears? I had no idea anymore.

I looked at him, more clearly this time. It was still different, because his eyes were silver, just how his temperature was different. It got my dazed mind whirring back to reality, as the memory of those nights I spent talking with ’Nat’ came flooding my mind.

I recalled then, how different the doctor sometimes felt. He was warm and gentle during the night, or when it was just the two of us. But he would get cold and act like he didn’t know me during the examination on the day.

At that time, while thinking it was weird, I also understood that looking close and friendly to me in front of others had no benefit for him. He might even be misunderstood as aiming for my inheritance. I wasn’t in a state where I could be picky with my acquaintances, and knowing he would come later that night, warm and gentle as usual, was enough for me. I knew that realistically, I could never ask for more.

But...that answer of his...made it seem like he wasn’t always the doctor. In that case, were they always two different people from the start? Just like me and Valmeier?

"You were...you were inside the doctor..." I muttered, and I felt his hands grasping mine tighter.

"My soul, yes," he reaffirmed my conjecture. "On that night when it was snowing, I possessed the body of a man called Nathanael," he said, looking firmly into my eyes. "And met you."

My blurry vision cleared a little bit when I blinked repeatedly at his explanation. "You possess...someone from another world?"

It wasn’t reincarnation, or transmigration, or even summoning stuff?

"By some chance, yes," he nodded. "If you read my journal, you’ll know I was called to the King’s Sanctuary."

I nodded hurriedly, and he immediately continued. "It was then," he said. "His Majesty--or was it the Lord?--sent my soul into your world."

"What?!" my eyes widened at that. Although...if it was the work of a God or his proxy, then it might make sense how it could happen. I just...never thought of that possibility before, something like temporary transmigration. "Then...was that only happened until the end of the winter?"

He nodded, and it made even more sense now. That was the time when the doctor stopped visiting me, and then I heard he had actually moved out of that hospital.

"The possession was possible because I was a Nightmare, and I had the right to be a Lord," Natha explained further. "But it had its limits. I could only possess the man fully at night, or when he was asleep."

"Because you’re a Nightmare?"

"Yes."

I took a deep breath, and a realization hit me. So...so that meant...all those times, I had been talking with Natha instead of the doctor? So...I had been falling in love with the same person?

Oh...

I bit my lips then, because I could feel my eyes heating up already. Oh, what was this? This feeling of relief and frustration that overlapping with each other.

"That limited time, the winter in the hospital..." Natha stroked my slightly trembling hands as he looked into my eyes. "It’s the first time I fall in love with someone," he reached up and stroked my cheek gently. "And I had never fallen out of love with that person even now."

"Oh..."

I felt stupid, but that was the only thing I could say at that time. All of this information now felt too much so suddenly, but I also wanted to know everything.

"I couldn’t forget about you, even after I get back. I didn’t even know how we were going to meet again, but I know the Lord allowed me to meet you in the other world because we would meet again one day, and I had kept on waiting, and waiting," he lowered his head, and pressed his forehead against the back of my hand--on his brand, on our bond. "And then, I found Valmeier."

My body tensed at that, and I almost pulled my hands off his grasp, but he added hurriedly, raising his head so I could see his solemn face. "I found his picture from the shadow’s report on the Priest of Judgement, and I immediately thought he was you."

"So you come to meet him? Was that when he stabbed you?"

Natha chuckled bitterly. "Yes," he said. "When I saw the face I had been longing for a long time, I got a bit...impatient. I didn’t think that it might be someone else, or that you might not recognize me, and just straight up come to meet him."

He let out a sigh then, and paused for a bit before continuing. "But the moment I stood in front of him, I knew he wasn’t you."

"...why? Because he didn’t recognize you?

He looked at my eyes, deeply, and smiled. "Because you have different souls," he said. "I could recognize your soul everywhere, sweetheart."

"Oh..."

Again, I couldn’t find any more thing to say but that stupid one-syllable response. I was in a daze, knowing that he knew I wasn’t Valmeier from the start. That all this time...all the sweet sweet things he said that I thought were directed to Valmeier, was actually...for me.

"I was disappointed that day, and getting even more pessimistic that we’d actually meet in this lifetime," he lowered his head again, and continued while rubbing my hand on his forehead. "I tried to put a spy in Lenaar to observe you, but there was a limit on what I could do in another realm. I didn’t even know about your condition until it was too late, and you..."

He didn’t finish it, but we both knew what it was about. He couldn’t exactly tell his subordinate to observe me too closely, in fear that Valmeier might find and attack them. He couldn’t tell them that they were watching for someone he loved, because technically, it wasn’t me.

"But then, one day, ’Valmeier’ sent a letter to me," he said, chuckling softly. "I was flabbergasted, and found myself hoping for a little bit," he stopped and sighed slightly then. "But I couldn’t help but stay skeptical at first, because I didn’t want to raise my hope too much."

So that was why he seemed to be suspicious at first, but agreed to my request fast. "When I was sure it was you, I...became greedy."

He rubbed the brand on my hand, and covered it with the palm containing the same sign. "I want to bind you to me, even if you don’t remember me. So I acted aggressively at that time--forgive me, sweetheart."

He kissed the brand, planting his lips long and hard there. Looking at him, who felt familiar but looked foreign now, I bit my lips and whispered. "Can...can you turn back now? To your real form?"

He widened his eyes slightly, looking rather surprised. "You don’t like this?"

I shook my head instantly. It felt jarring, even after I knew it was him during that winter too. I had too used to Natha’s look, the demon one. The one that felt so fitting with the soothing coldness of his skin.

He morphed back right then; his hair getting longer again, skin blue and textured. His horn grew back to its majestic shape and size, and when he was finally the Natha that I knew, I let out a breath of relief.

He looked at me, looking fascinated by how I preferred his demon looks. "This clears your misunderstanding, yes?" he asked for confirmation.

I wanted to say yes, but there was something I wanted to ask first. "So you knew who I am from the start?"

"Yes."

"And you didn’t tell me, even though we had met in the past?"

He froze then. "That--"

I took a deep breath, grabbed the cushion behind me, and hit Natha with it.