Protagonist! Please Stay Away from Me!
Chapter 111: Insecurities

Chapter 111: Insecurities

Sharon’s POV—

"What do you want from me?"

"What do I want from you?" I asked him back. What does he think that I want from him? Although, I do know what I want from him. As long as he promises me that I will get what I want... there is a better chance of us working as partners.

Rozefde looked unfazed at my question. "You used your turn."

I nodded and said, "Yeah, I did. So, I guess you will tell me. I need to know your need before I can tell you... my need."

He looked into my eyes and said, "You are right. I need you. At first, I thought killing you would be the better choice. But now, I think it’s not."

"I guess, thank you for not killing me."

Ignoring my mocking words, Rozefde said, "In the last timeline, I woke up late. Too late in fact. I lost the war before it even started. A war which I needed to win... for me, and for them. For all of us." His last words came out as a whisper.

"You want revenge," I stated.

He nodded in affirmation. "My fellow gods were massacred by ’him.’ Every single one of them died by ’his’ blade."

"If I am to believe your words, you... yourself are like the outer god."

Rozefde pupils parted in shock. He asked, "How?!"

"After this... it’s my turn. As for your answer, it lies within you. Why would the leader of gods of this world would know mine? How did he know that they abandoned us? Unless, he had visited our world or, once belonged to our world. I asked myself these two questions. And the answer I believed to be true was, the latter one. You, Rozefde... once belonged to our world. You were a god in our world."

His mouth was parted in shock. Suddenly, he started laughing.

Seeing him laughing like an idiot, I frowned at him and waited for his explanation.

"S-sorry... but... hahaha... I am really surprised! Y-your insight is really terrifying! I never t-thought a-anyone w-would guess this... but you... hahaha... you guessed it!"

"Stop laughing! And for the god’s sake, continue!"

"Hahaha... I am the god, Sharon. I am the fucking god!"

"Please, stop. I am really cringed by your laughing."

"Hahaha... I will stop!" exclaimed Rozefde.

After one or two minutes, Rozefde finally stopped laughing.

He said, "Okay, that was a bit undignified of me."

"I am really glad that you know this," I mocked him, "so, continue your tale.

Rozefde looked at the ceiling of this ’ruin,’ and said, "I was a budding god in my... your world. Unlike other gods, my domain dealt with desires. A very few gods had a similar domain to mine. But my domain worked very differently. Those who are blessed by me or, their desires are fulfilled by me... they became my devotees. And because of their devotion, I got powerful. Too powerful. So, they threw me into a new world. This world called, ’Adearth.’ This world is very similar to earth. You can even call this planet as earth if you want."

"For me, this planet is earth," I said instantly.

"Yes, Sharon... I know." Rozefde stopped for a moment as if he was reminiscing the past, before he opened his mouth again. "Coming here, I found this planet lacking in gods. So, I created them, and established the council of gods. Then, I created the humans."

I said, "Your gods were the same as you. They got more powerful because of the relentless ’devotion’ of humans towards them... towards you."

"What I didn’t know was, the nature was planning to go against me. It created those damn weapons to restrict or kill us. Once a human did steal a god-killing weapon and killed one of our gods. It shocked me when I knew that one of us, whom I am created with utmost care, was killed by humans. My family! She killed my family!"

’She?’ So, Klurench information was a tab bit wrong. A ’woman’ killed a god, not a man. Also, did this guy say ’family?’ Really? What about Klurench then? He wanted him and Erica dead, didn’t he?

I twirled a strand of my hair in my fingers and said, "You were angry."

"Why should I be angry?" he yelled angrily.

Ah, I guess that I hurt his ego. Honestly, it wasn’t surprising to see his outburst.

"Two questions! Thank you, Rozefde. But you shouldn’t be so impulsive. IF you noted my words carefully, I used the verb called, ’were.’ I am not talking about the present. Past. I am talking about past. The reason for your anger? Because you... hated the fact that a ’defective’ species like us, killed one of you."

Rozefde’s jaw tightened because of my words.

I continued, "You were afraid that this inferior species would kill you. A divine being killed by a defect. You didn’t want the history to repeat itself. Therefore, you killed the first batch of humans. Insecurity is a very lethal poison. You even fear me."

Glaring at me, he said, "Fuck you! You are really ruthless, aren’t you? I thought we could be friends"

"Is that a question? If yes, then I will have to ask three questions."

"Tch! Fuck you! I really hate you. You want to put my insecurities out in the open? Then, I will return the favour. You are afraid that you will lose everything. Your new life will be a spectacular failure like your previous one. You fear... Kaerin and Maria will hate you if they ever come to know that you are... a fake. While you don’t love them, you like their unnecessary love for you. One that is born from regret."

For a moment, I felt as if everything in this world has darkened. All my insecurities were laid open, and I don’t know what to say or, feel. Yes, I do fear. No matter how many times I stand in front of a mirror, and force my fears back to the darkness inside of me... it won’t change.

Yes, I am afraid that my freedom will be taken.

Yes, I am afraid that their ’guilty’ love will be over.

Yes, I am afraid that I will lose my second chance like the previous one.

"It was a dirty move."

Rozefde snorted, "So what? You deserve those words. Sharon, you are living in a fantasy. You lack control."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I snarled, "What did you say? ’Control?’ You want to talk about control? Aren’t you the one who wants to control me?"

"I am talking about that. Sharon, you lack control over yourself. Every decision of yours is a product of your desires. I just happen to amplify them. You wanted the ’heroines’ to love you."

"You were the one who told me not to prevent Kelshin from building his harem!"

He shook his head and said, "That was you. I just told your desire out loud. Every decision was yours to make. My ’influence’ over you... was the least. I never needed to liberate you from your desires. You were already free from every type of control. Whether you like it or not, Sharon... a woman like you is unstable. Like you, I had my doubts... but those never surfaced. Perhaps, it was because of you. You know what? I was wrong. You don’t lack control. Your control over you is very, very strong... even stronger than my control over myself. You carefully hid your madness. No one will doubt you. How can someone doubt you? A person who is not only mad but also, carefully hides her true character."

"You are just speculating!"

"Yes, like you... I am speculating. But in your heart, you know it. I am right. Everything till now is the result of your actions."

"Should we stop this? Look, Rozefde. I need answers. You give them to me, and we can form an alliance. One that would help you get your revenge. We don’t need to tear each other up. An alliance against our enemies. That’s what we need."

Rozefde sighed, "You don’t understand, do you? You want answers? Then, I will give you. What you seek from me, is not what you can get. I can’t give you those answers as I have already told you what I know. The ’god-slayer’ woman’s identity? I don’t know. The reason? I don’t know. Why was I collecting human organs? It was just a whim. Maybe I wanted humans to destroy themselves."

"So, you are going to kill me?" I asked him. Did he change his mind so quickly?

He shook his head. "I won’t," replied Rozefde.

"Why?’

"I am dying, Sharon. This world is killing me. You were my last chance to save myself. A gamble. One that has cost me a lot. I wouldn’t deny that you almost succeeded in making me fight with you. It was a good tactic."

I snarled, "So, that’s it. You will hide like a coward that you are. They were abandoned by you. While that ’outer god’ was killing gods mercilessly, you hid. And you are doing it once again."

Rozefde glared at me with utmost hate possible. But before he could say anything, someone interrupted us.

"That’s his speciality, Sharon."

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