Pampered by my Billionaire CEO Husband -
Chapter 97: Heavy silence
Chapter 97: Chapter 97: Heavy silence
T/W: Child loss and miscarriage, please read only if you are comfortable
The silence that followed was heavier than I could ever imagine.
I could barely remember anything or what happened after I came to the hospital, everything was a blur to me. I only watched as Xavier lowered his head and nodded slightly to confirm one of my worst nightmares.
I couldn’t hold back the soft gasp that left my parted lips as I fell back into my bed. I remember pushing out my baby and then I passed out before I could even see him. I tried to say something but there was a lump stuck in my throat and I couldn’t even utter a single word.
Emotions ran wild in my dark brown eyes and a sour feeling shot right up my nose. Tears that were formed at the brim of my eyes came falling down my cheeks within the next second. My ribs felt as though they were closing in on themselves, each sharp end of the bone pricking at my heart and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t grasp this reality that was hurled at me.
My world had collapsed in an instant.
No matter how much I hated the father of my baby, deep inside the hollow of my heart was filled with love for the child I have yet to meet, the child that I have yet to lay my eyes on. He was innocent and I wasn’t going to let my hatred for my ex-husband diminish the love I have for my child.
The memory of Stella pushing me onto the ground continued to linger at the back of my mind, haunting me. I looked up, glaring at Blake and Stella who were standing there watching us. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. "Leave! Get out of here!" I yelled but my voice only came out weak, faltering towards the end of the sentence. "I don’t want to see the two of you here! You are the reason my baby is gone!" I screamed. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the tears this time.
Blake stared at me, his face remained stoic and indifferent. "Yelling at us isn’t going to change the fact that you lost our baby," he snarled, his voice cold and his expression was almost emotionless. "Did you think that it was our fault that you lost the baby? If only you were more careful then this wouldn’t have happened!" He sneered with a disdainful scorn, spitting the words out like they were poison in his mouth. His words, usually meaningless, were now stabbing at my heart relentlessly.
The words barely left the tip of his tongue when Xavier’s face darkened almost immediately and he marched over with his fists clenched tightly in anger beside him, closing the distance between them in less than a second.
"How dare you fucking spin this around to blame this on her?!"
Before anyone knew it, I watched as Xavier threw a punch, his fist landing squarely on Blake’s jaw without a single warning. A loud yelp emerged from Blake’s throat upon impact, as he grimaced in pain while a surprised gasp left Stella’s lips as she watched with horror swirling in the depths of her eyes.
"Blake!" She called out and was tending to him in no time. Her brows were furrowed together as she carefully examined his features, her hand reaching up to rub his jaw. She then snapped her head around to glare at Xavier, a fiery blaze burning in her eyes. "What is wrong with you?! Why did you have to punch him?"
"He was asking for it," Xavier retorted, rage still evident on his face. "He should consider himself lucky that it was only one punch," he said through gritted teeth.
"You–!" Blake stepped forward this time, coming closer to stand face to face with Xavier. His eyes were narrowed into thin slits as they locked eyes. "That baby is mine, this is none of your business."
"That’s enough!" I yelled, my weak voice piercing through the tension that was hanging in the air between us like a thick blanket. Everyone whipped their heads around to look at me and my eyes met Blake’s. "You never cared about our baby, so don’t come saying that the baby is yours."
There was a moment of silence that stretched between us until I broke it. "Just leave."
Blake tried to argue. "I –"
"Leave! She told you to leave." Xavier demanded this time, as he interrupted him, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence. I watched as Blake quickly grabbed Stella and the both of them quickly scrambled to leave, letting the door close shut behind them.
It was just Xavier and I now.
I let out a breath and the reality of the situation settled over me. I could no longer hold up that strong and angry demeanour any longer, and tears started to glisten in my eyes once again. I drew in deep breaths, my body slightly trembling with each breath I took. "I can’t believe this..." I muttered under my breath. "This cannot be real, this isn’t real... Xavier... tell me, this isn’t real."
"Aurelia... I..."
I looked up at Xavier, my shaky hands reaching up to grab onto him, pulling and tugging at his arms this time. I was choking up on my own words, barely being able to get the words out as I pleaded, desperation laced my tone. "I want to see my baby, tell the nurses I want to see my baby!" I cried out loud, my cries reverberating in the hospital room.
Seeing the distraught look plastered across my face, he could barely hold it in himself. He got down onto the ground, his knees pressing against the cold hard floor as he grabbed onto my shoulders. His eyes were filled with concern and worry as I let his eyes hold mine captive and I continued to sob.
"Aurelia..." My name left his lips, hurt and concern evident in his voice. "Please... It kills me to see you like this..."
I couldn’t even say a word but only collapsed into his arms as he pulled me into an embrace, hugging me closely. We stayed like that for I didn’t know how long, he just held me in silence, letting me bury my face in his shoulders as I cried my eyes out for what seemed like forever.
"You are okay, you are okay," he repeated, murmuring next to my ear as he rubbed my back soothingly. "I’m here for you."
"I...I..." I stammered. "I want to see him, please."
He pulled away this time, silence stretched between us for a brief moment. "I will let the nurse know."
The next thing I knew, the door to my room swung open and I was watching as the nurse wheeled in the baby crib with a slight smile etched onto her face. It was one of those transparent cribs where I could already see my baby lying in there, swaddled in a bright blue cloth. He looked perfectly fine, he was everything that I had imagined he would be.
"Mummy, your baby is here," the nurse announced. "Would you like to see him?"
I wiped the tears off my face and nodded, I was sure.
The nurse reached in to pick him up, carefully handing him over to me. I took him in my arms and my eyes glanced down to look at him. He was tiny, tinier than I could ever imagine. His eyes were fluttered shut and he had this peaceful look plastered across his small little face. He still felt soft and warm against my bare skin, I held his tiny hand with my fingers.
"Hey, little guy..." Tears filled my eyes and the corners of my lips curled upwards into a bittersweet smile as I kept my eyes on him, scanning his features. I couldn’t see his eyes but I bet he has my eyes, he has a little button nose and light blonde hair like his father. I didn’t want to let him go, I wished I could keep him by my side forever. But alas, it was time.
I watched as the nurse took him away and I broke down immediately after. Xavier came to my side and pulled me into a hug, kissing the side of my head as he let me cry.
***
I thought about it long and hard. I decided to hold a funeral service for my baby.
I couldn’t bear the thought of not giving him a proper send off, I wanted to celebrate the life he didn’t live, maybe in another lifetime, we would meet again.
It was a private one, only Xavier and I were there. I did think about asking Blake, after all, he was still the father of our child. I shot him a text, stating the address and every other important detail that was necessary. But the memory from the day in the hospital popped into my head the next second. The way he defended Stella and blamed me for the loss of our child. He also didn’t ask anything about our baby after that day, I doubt he cared enough to see him, much less send him off.
I decided to delete the text for both of us in the end.
But I guess he must have seen it within that minute.
Because the doors burst open and his mother was standing right in front of me.
"How dare you keep my son from sending off his son?!"
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