My Dear Duke(BL)
Chapter 152: Not Sorry

Chapter 152: Not Sorry

"My head hurts...’

Felix could still hear Asher’s crying in his ears.

It made Felix hate himself for being the cause of all the problems.

He regretted it so much.

He regretted letting Asher suffer along with him.

He felt really bad.

There were a lot of times he even got up to go and open the door for Asher so he could ask him not to cry.

He wanted to do it.

But he didn’t want to do it at the same time or maybe, he didn’t know how to do it. He was genuinely afraid of what kind of a reaction Asher would have to anything he was going to say.

He wanted to see Asher so badly.

But he was sure he would look like a big mess that definitely will be shown as a burden to Asher.

He thought of his mother as a burden.

So...this must be the karma.

Felix felt so mad that karma didn’t come to him before he felt life was beautiful. He hated it that he did not become like this before he met Asher.

It all annoyed him.

Due to those countless thoughts, he was overwhelmed and completely drained. He just laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling as he listened to Asher continuously asking him to open the door.

At some point, he wanted to open the door and tell him to get lost so Asher would not be here screaming for him till his throat dries. But...he was afraid that will end up hurting him even though he once did it by asking Asher not to touch him and then pushing him away.

It was not like he didn’t know.

He definitely knew.

He knew how he was hurting Asher.

But...but...

He didn’t know what to do.

He felt like a coward. A big failure and a disgusting creature...

Every time he thinks about how his cowardly behaviour and weak stamina is making things complicated, he feels even terrible. It gets even worse when he feels helpless again.

Everytime that same cycle of thoughts roamed around, he felt like he had nothing else to do. He was such a failure and nuisance.

And also, a big burden...

"Duke! Open the door!"

Felix was suddenly startled when he heard a thud in the door and the familiar voice...Yet in an unfamiliar tone. For a moment, he actually thought it was not Asher. But...it was indeed him.

’I thought Asher is alseep by now. It’s...late at night.’

By the way, why did he sound like that?

"Open this fucking door, damn it!"

Felix turned his head toward the door as he heard Asher curse and angrily kick it. Asher was really angry, wasn’t he? It is surprising to hear him talking like that but...well, he had the right to be angry so Felix didn’t think about it.

But still, no matter how much Asher hit and cursed, Felix did not open the door. He just didn’t have the energy or the courage to face him.

He had locked the door from inside so only if someone breaks the door could they come inside.

At least that’s what he thought.

Only to realise Asher had found out another way, other than breaking the door...

Felix thought Asher had finally left when there was that big silence. But to his surprise, he heard his voice again...but not from the door side this time.

"Open this damn window! Or I’m going to fall from here!"

Felix was shocked to see Asher holding on to the window, then screaming at him.

Right...why did he forget the window? The window was a little too high for someone to just climb in and get off safely so he thought no one would think of it that way. Turned out he was wrong.

So he pushed Asher to take such risks?

And now, seeing Asher after days and him in a very dangerous situation Felix couldn’t look away. So he had no choice but to talk to him.

"Just go away...."

Felix said, making Asher scream at him again.

"Open this damn window you bastard! I am going to kill you if you keep this up."

Asher...called him a bastard...

Yeah, he was a bastard.

Felix wasn’t even surprised by Asher’s vocabulary anymore. He deserve it. He deserves to be cursed for being so useless and burdensome.

"I..."

As Felix hesitantly went on to say something, Asher disturbed him again.

"If you don’t open this I will fall. So you really don’t care if I break my legs? Huh?"

Asher asked, his expression sour.

"No..Ahh...I will open that door for you, not the window. But...not now. I nee-"

Felix was going to say but Asher disturbed him yet again.

"You need time? You took enough. So shut up and just open this goddamn window."

Asher demanded, his eyes lighting fire as the anger rose, making Felix weirdly nervous. Asher...seemed really angry.

Felix, in the end, realised he had no choice so he agreed to listen to Asher.

"Okay. Be careful."

Felix rolled out of the bed, hardly managing to stand on his feet as he was quite weak from starving himself and trembling all over.

Barely balancing himself, Felix, slowly and carefully, walked to the window as soon as possible to open it and let Asher in before he would get hurt.

But... as soon as he opened it, he only saw Asher standing up before he felt pain in his face and fell to the ground by some force.

It took some time for Felix to gather his thoughts and when he realised what just happened, he looked at Asher nervously, rubbing his cheek which he felt pain in.

’Did...Asher just punched me?’

Felix stared at Asher in disbelief and as if he knew what was on Felix’s mind, Asher nodded, then confirming it.

"Yes, I did punch you."

So, yeah....Yes, he did.

Asher punched him, the duke he thought to cherish and protect..

And that also, really hard.

And, no.

He didn’t feel guilty.

And...won’t be in near future either.

’I am not sorry, duke.’