Miho the Killer
Chapter 30: Girls. Lost in the Forest.

Chapter 30: Girls. Lost in the Forest.

The old man looked at us with suspicion in his eyes, a little alarmed. But he soon turned his eyes back to his book as Miho and I walked down the hallway. I was imagining stupid things.

How can I even think of walking down the aisle to the wedding march song in a moment like this?

Ever since I saw Miho again, I was on a roller coaster ride that climbed up the height of guilt and shame and descended to the depths of hell with cathartic excitement. The awareness of all the horrible things she had done was still more than fresh in my mind and those images were repulsive - I couldn’t erase them, and I wasn’t even sure whether I should erase them. At the same time, the ’new’ Miho came across as a pure soul with no sign of cruelty in her at all. My feelings were however further complicated after meeting Juho - someone who absolutely needed the ’old’ Miho back.

Despite these thoughts ripping my brain apart with every step, I recomposed myself and announced as we were passing by Shin.

"We will be out for a bit. Ms. Gu wanted some fresh air."

"Thank you, Dr. Yang. Please take it easy." He answered without looking up.

With Shin’s approval, me and the kitten - she has been demoted. For now - walked out of the house and headed toward the open back garden which stretched out to the forest behind the safe house.

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon in summer that would come to an end not so long from now. Although I supposedly brought Miho out for her sake, I also enjoyed walking in the sun.

And of course, there was a little matter of holding hands together.

I worried whether my palms were sweaty, whether she’d be disgusted if they were, and all that.

As if she knew my concern though, she didn’t hold my hands tightly. It was only a light touch of hands and a clasp with a gap between our palms.

This is probably for the better.

I can’t get too close to her now. She’s dangerous in many ways.

As we walked, I wanted to talk about things that wouldn’t stress her.

"Are you enjoying the sun?"

"Yeah! It beats staying in the room for the whole day, every day. Uncle’s been way too strict and protective of me."

"He’s just very concerned about you. He wishes you nothing but a speedy recovery."

"Heh. I suppose. But seriously, I’m feeling better and better each hour."

"You are recovering well. It’s good to hear."

"So when do you think I can finally go out?"

"Tell me Ms. Gu, where do you exactly want to go?"

Calling her Ms. Gu somehow thrilled me too, in a way that I couldn’t exactly explain why. It had a different sense of intimacy than calling her by her first name.

"I want to go back to the Lake Park. I really like it there."

"You mean the one in Ilsan?"

"Yeah."

"I think we could. But perhaps no cycling for a while."

"Heh, fair enough. I don’t want to bang my head again."

I felt a flutter of guilt in my chest.

"Is that how you remember your accident?"

"Is it not? That’s the last thing I remember so I assumed it was."

"Yes, it was. You are right."

It didn’t feel good to lie, especially when I was the one who caused her the injury - and I left her to die there as well.

Am I forgiven now that Juho has forgiven me? Should I seek the same forgiveness from Miho too?

But then again, can she be forgiven for what she has done before?

Two wrongs didn’t make it right. I told myself.

I shouldn’t justify myself leaving her to die at the staircase by linking it to other hideous murders she committed. I didn’t have the right to bring justice to her, and for all intent and purpose, I was a murderer myself - a failed one.

"Psst, look, over there."

Miho brought me back from my little wander off into my thoughts and pointed at something.

"A squirrel!" she whisper-screamed.

We stopped walking and looked at the cute creature from a distance, perhaps about five meters away. The squirrel was standing on the grass with some kind of food in its hands, probably a nut - do they eat anything else? - although I wasn’t sure where it could be from.

"It’s so cute." Miho leaned and whispered into my ear. For a moment her voice was low and husky, just like the first time I heard them back in the office when she came to kill Mr. Park. I felt both tingles and shivers, a lightning strike and a gentle caress.

"It... it is... indeed." I was even stuttering now.

"Do you think it will run away if we got closer?"

Oh dear... her lips were way close to my ears now. It wasn’t just her voice that assaulted my ear. I could hear the sound of her lips parting and closing, the movement of her tongue, and the faint and rhythmic breath that teased me.

Mesmerized by the sensation, I closed my eyes and leaned my head toward her. I was fully out of control. This sudden movement brought my ear in full contact with her lips. They felt dry to the touch, but then inexplicably, they parted and Miho playfully licked the surface of the path to my ear canal. My knees literally melted and I was falling to the ground with an involuntary moan, but Miho quickly put her arm around my waist to help me.

"Haha. You are so clumsy, Sohee."

I felt like I just got hit by a train and jumped away, pushing her away by her chest.

"What... what did you just call me?"

Miho stood there looking confused.

She then blinked her eyes a few times and asked instead.

"Huh?"

"What did you just call me?"

"Did I call you?"

"Who am I?"

"Dr. Yang, of course."

"WHO AM I TO YOU?!!"

"What’s wrong? Dr. Yang... you are acting strange..."

"ANSWER ME!"

"I’m sorry... I’m really sorry... I don’t know what I’ve done wrong..."

Miho then started to sob, her big eyes full of tears, the back of her pale hand rubbing the precious away.

"I... I’m sorry, Ms. Gu."

"What did I do wrong... I’m sorry... I’m really sorry..."

I approached the crying girl with forced gentle steps, embraced her, and let her head rest against my chest.

"I’m sorry. You did nothing wrong. You are a good girl."

And I held her like that, stroking her hair, trying my best to not make her notice that I was crying too.

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