I, a Mental Patient, Was Chosen to Participate in AnalogHorror
Chapter 94 - 90: Art is Pai Daxing!

Chapter 94: Chapter 90: Art is Pai Daxing!

Peanut Sundae?!

[Bro, what the heck is a Peanut Sundae?]

[It’s something SpongeBob craved one morning for his ice cream sundae... forget it, it’s too complicated. You just need to know it’s one of the top delicacies in SpongeBob.]

Top delicacy?

Everyone stared at the big porcelain bowl on screen.

Thick tomato sauce as the base.

Slices of onions were haphazardly stuck in it.

And finally, a thick layer of old butter perfectly melded the three ingredients together.

[Isn’t this thing deadly if eaten?]

[I used to think Meichuan Neiku’s traditional raw fish was extreme enough.]

[It seems our vision was too limited...]

7:30 was dinner time, and it wasn’t even 6 yet.

Jiang Xiao had resolved dinner for so many patients in the madhouse in just five minutes.

"This proves that Pai Daxing is indeed a genius chef. Maybe I could even audition at Crab Castle, then I could be with SpongeBob every day."

Pai’s voice was flat but filled with confidence.

However, the live audience saw that big, oily mess.

Forget Crab Castle, even Sea Dominator would disdain it.

"Hey little girl, would you like to play the bubble blowing game with me?"

Jiang Xiao, exiting the dining hall, noticed the little girl on the stairs hadn’t left and was still lingering by the railing.

The little girl shook her head, indicating she couldn’t go without her mom’s permission.

"But you standing there looking like a power pole is just so silly."

"You’re the silly one!"

The little girl indignantly stood up.

Apparently offended, she crinkled her little nose and made a face at Jiang Xiao.

"My mom said, you are not normal, you’re a big fool!"

"I am not a big fool; I can blow very pretty bubbles. Whatever you want, I can blow it for you!"

The little girl, initially heading back to her room, paused her steps and leaned back against the stair railing.

Her tone was teasing and skeptical.

"Then show me."

"Blow? Just watch me then!"

Jiang Xiao strode back to the kitchen, found an empty bottle, filled it with water, dish soap, and a little sugar.

No bubble wand, so he grabbed a drinking straw as a substitute.

OK, done!

Seeing Jiang Xiao rush out of the kitchen in less than two minutes.

The girl looked even more disdainful.

She now believed less than ever that this manager could blow any decent bubbles.

"What do you want to see! Pai Daxing could blow anything!"

"I want to see a big bubble!"

"How big?"

"Super big!"

Jiang Xiao quickly jabbed the straw in the bottle a few times.

Then, with a dead-serious expression, he puffed up his cheeks and began to blow.

Huh?

It didn’t burst immediately?

Did he actually manage to start blowing it?

Hiss...

Wait a minute?

Everyone’s heart skipped a beat.

Is this a bubble?

The shape seemed a bit off.

Woah!!!

Audience: (ｷ｀ﾟДﾟ´)!!!

The little girl’s gummy candy dropped to the floor, her face in shock!

Little girl: (ŎﾛŎ‧̣̥̇) Oh!!!

What the heck?!!

How did he blow a bubble in the shape of Aristotle?

And it’s in 3D!

’Pop’

The bubble burst.

Jiang Xiao frowned, clearly unsatisfied.

He jabbed the straw in the bubble solution a few times again.

And puffed up his cheeks once more.

This time he blew a SpongeBob-shaped bubble.

’Pop’

It burst again.

Undeterred, Jiang Xiao tried for the third time.

This time he blew a bubble shaped like Pai Daxing as a prince riding a horse.

[I swear...]

[Can someone slap me awake, hard?]

[Apologies for previously calling Jiang Xiao insane.]

[Could he actually be a genius?]

[Each stroke a work of art, each drawing an abstract—did you think?]

[You can call him dumb or a pink devil, but...]

[But you can’t deny Pai Daxing’s explosive artistic flair~]

[It’s widely known, art~ might as well be called Pai Daxing.]

[This couldn’t be described as simply being spoon-fed by God; unquestionably, God chewed his food and fed him mouth to mouth!]

The audience came to their senses.

The little girl was still baffled.

Too, too, damn shocking!

Could bubbles even be blown like that?

Damn!

This move seriously just cut her like a small knife...

Manager uncle didn’t seem to be bragging at all!

With a ’pop’,

The last bubble he blew—a bubble shaped like an Angel—also burst.

Pai Daxing, looking disappointed, placed the bubble solution on the table.

"Maybe you’re right. I am useless. I can’t blow the big bubble you mentioned, the very big, very round kind..."

Crowd: ...

Are you a loser?

Then what are we?

The little girl stood dumbstruck.

She was barely four years old when she tasted being talked down to.

She raced over with a rapid patter of her little feet.

Adoration was written all over her face.

Little Ran: "I want to learn! I want to learn!! Brother Octopus, would you teach me, please~"

[Three little ones of the same kind?]

[Have to admit, Jiang Xiao really knows how to handle little girls.]

[Am I the only one who noticed the girl’s white stockings?]

[What are you talking about? That’s ice cream!!]

[Ice cream? Mentioning that, I’m not sleepy anymore~]

[Everyone, please wait, yes, it’s me, the brother of Naruto Uzumaki, Vortex Mouth, where’s the ice cream?]

[After you’re done eating, don’t rush to throw it away, lend me the socks to suck a bit.]

[What a beast...]

The comments were joking.

Jiang Xiao, however, couldn’t smile at all.

"Oh no, as you see, I can’t blow those big bubbles, I don’t have that ’artistic bacteria thing, so I might not be able to teach you much."

Ah, as expected.

Without SpongeBob, Pai Daxing just can’t do it...

Mian, did you hear that? Pai misses you~

The little girl beside him was about to burst into tears, clinging onto Jiang Xiao’s sleeve and refusing to let go.

"I can learn, I can learn! Just teach me to blow one, please."

"Two point five each!"

Huh?

The little girl paused.

Jiang Xiao glanced at her and repeated,

"To teach you bubble-blowing, it’s two point five each, it’s a rule set by SpongeBob. Though I’m not smart, I remember this very clearly about SpongeBob!"

Two point five...

The little girl rubbed her tattered dress.

Two point five seemed a good deal to learn such an impressive bubble-blow.

But she had no money...

"Don’t you have money?"

The little girl nodded and then quickly shook her head.

"I, I will ask my mom for some."

After saying this, the little girl ran towards the room.

But she stopped halfway, picked up the soft candy that had fallen to the ground but hadn’t been picked up yet, and ran back.

"I’ll give you all these candies, can you teach me to blow one? Even one would do."

The little girl was cautious, afraid of being refused.

Jiang Xiao stroked his chin, thought for a moment, and reluctantly agreed.

"Well, okay, meeting such a generous person like me isn’t easy."

The little girl quickly dipped the straw and brought it to her mouth.

A ’pop’ sound—

It burst before it could even form.

"I...I, I..."

The girl stood awkwardly holding the straw, having performed so poorly.

She had no extra candy...

Her single chance bought with three candies had been utterly wasted.

"Hey buddy, listen to me, gotta take it slowly, blowing bubbles is like life itself, the more you rush, the more likely you’ll fail. Blow another, let me watch."

"But, but I don’t have two point five anymore, nor any candy left."

"Out of candy? I can lend you some!"

Jiang Xiao lent the candy he had to the little girl.

The little girl paused, then gave the candy back to Jiang Xiao.

"I’ll buy one more round."

This time she was cautious and finally managed to blow the bubble...

But it burst again before reaching the desired size.

"I..am I..."

"It’s okay, I can lend you more, take another shot."

Jiang Xiao handed the candy back to the little girl.

Little Ran: (ʃƪ⁰̷̴)꒨(⁰̷̴) "Wow, uncle, you’re actually quite nice!"

The little girl handed the candy back to Jiang Xiao again.

"Wait, don’t blow yet."

Jiang Xiao stopped Little Ran who was about to blow a bubble.

"Watch carefully, this is a technique SpongeBob taught me. At first, I couldn’t do it either. Besides Brother Octopus, you’re the fourth person to learn it! But this move costs two point five."

Two point five?

"Can I borrow two point five from you again? I mean, can I borrow the candy as two point five?"

"Oh, of course, SpongeBob did the same for me."

The two made the trade once more.

"Alright buddy! The key is, first, pick up the straw, like this—twist!!!"

"Shake our heads three times, 1, 2, 3."

"Then, dive to the left and right! Hmm~~~"

"Watch this! Stand on your right foot, remember this!!!"

"Now spin around~ spin~~~"

"Three circles to the left~three circles to the right~"

"Then like this! Like this! Like this? Like this! Like this, like this, like this, like this!"

"Phew~"

An enormous palace bubble was blown out by Jiang Xiao.

"Wow~~~"

Stars appeared in Little Ran’s eyes!

It’s a good thing their ages differ widely, otherwise Jiang Xiao might end up being the little girl’s Prince Charming.

"Little Ran!"

Just then, a woman appeared at a room doorway, glaring angrily at the two in the living room downstairs.

"Little Ran, didn’t I just tell you, this guy is a loser! Why are you playing with him?"

"Mom, he’s not a loser, he’s a genius."

"That lady over there, who are you calling a loser? Where? I didn’t see. What I want to say is, whether you believe it or not, under every rock in the beautiful Bikini Beach, a miracle is hidden."

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