Dungeon? This Tree? Why Don't You Join Me for Lunch? (Dungeon Core)
Chapter 90: Bella

Chapter 90: Chapter 90: Bella

Belladonna... the Fairy which I was learning a lot about! From... Amdis.

Her nephew.

I had never understood the appeal behind the phrase: Mega Fail.

Not even once did I feel, during my long existence, that I had committed something that qualified as a Mega Fail.

But as I stared at the now clothed and pretty male fairy, who apparently was everything Belladonna had once been and a tab bit more, I knew that I had committed a... Mega Fail.

Because doing the bedroom sport with the nephew of the mother of my firstborn was a big no-no.

And I did that. A couple of times. Mostly it was Aron riding Amdis while I cooked.

Because I learned to delegate... the Dark Nymph Itch, as I liked to call the thing which made me view bananas as more than a berry.

By the way, bananas are berries! And what I had been calling a palm tree, was no tree, but a herbal shrub!

Oh, the more you know!

I scrolled down to the shared blog Aurora was letting me use. Now, one might think that Belladonna would have blocked Aurora from the World Dungeon Blog as well!

Or at least from the Forum.

But, no! Because Aurora, bless her two-timing soul, was supplying Bella with food.

Any other dungeon union dungeon core would have kicked Aurora out of his or her union. Hit here where it hurt the most: the compost pile deliveries!

But I was a shark of a businessman! I knew how to snatch victory from the jaws of bitter, vile, ungrateful, betrayal!

It went something like this:

Aurora would prepare some food for that zombie fairy who might or might not have sung songs to a baby Amdis, which was something I tried not to think about.

Then I would use the Nymph Union link to dump mushroom powder over the food... golden mushroom powder!

I had no idea what I was doing to my wife, who refused to give me a divorce. I just knew that she was cursing up a storm, the sounds of flushing of a toilet following soon after, and then... the doomed sound of a creaking toilet seat...

The sound of victory, as far as I was concerned!

But that wasn’t what I needed out of these mushrooms! They were weapons against evil!

And fate, just like every other time something like this popped into existence, decided that a hero should come and take it from the dark creature who had invented it.

The knock on my tree’s door, something I had made after it became apparent that the Tree of Memories was not going to shift its bark over the giant hole in its trunk, was like thunder.

I went to see who it was. Aron and Amdis were both tired, and they being cuddled up like two love birds made me want to squeeze the life out of something chubby.

And there he was! A cute, chubby, blushing, kid who looked about one sneeze away from running.

A hero!

"Hello!" The kid sniffed the air.

Ah! He was hungry!

"Come inside, my child," that was probably my best imitation of a witch who ate cute, chubby, blushing kids. But if I had to be honest, I was actually going for something of an old Master who was wise and wanted to nurture.

The kid wavered; I stepped to the side.

"Bravery begins with the first step," I thought that I was going to urge him to save the world.

Because it did need saving.

There was the Lich King Alexios, who may or may not be trying to take over Fin in his desperate attempt to survive, for all I knew.

Then there was Belladonna, the zombie fairy, who was... busy. In a very smelly way.

And, of course, there was Solas.

Because that git would always be a problem. What could I say?

Solas was Solas.

"Please don’t eat me," the boy finally whispered, as he sat down by the fire. I nodded at him, filled up his bowl with some mushroom soup, and then stared into the fire.

He began to eat, eyes locked on the pot over said fire. A very big pot I was heating up for the kebab I was going to prepare.

Wrath did not appreciate that his Foodie Nymph sent him soup while he was behind enemy lines.

So... it was either me making him meat and onions, with fries on the side, or me losing my best friend.

Wrath was Wrath.

But my best friend, even though he didn’t know it, was my nose!

You could save a meal from burning because most of the time the scent of something burned began while the dish could be salvaged if your nose worked!

And, of course, my eyes were more valuable than what I had between my legs.

And not to mention that without my hands, I would have been pants at cooking!

Besides...

"May I please have more?" The boy was getting braver. I noted that his mana pool was bigger. Good, I thought to myself, as I filled up his bowl with more soup.

Dru ate what she could, but the portion which was meant for Wrath got a return to sender rune.

Him, I’m going to divorce! I had never been insulted worse in my entire life!

The kid smiled when I gave him the steaming bowl. It was yellow, when mushroom soups should be creamy and white gray.

It was glowing when the soup had no business glowing.

But the kid had died just a couple of hours ago, run by a truck, whatever sort of dragon that was.

"And then there was light," the boy continued, as I was cutting up enough meat to feed Brandon.

Wrath is Wrath, I told myself.

"And then I heard: You will be sent to the kindest and most insane nymph in the world. And he will make you strong!"

Huh, the universe thought I was insane. Food for thought.

"I will, young hero," my witch in the woods voice was back. He blinked, looked at the sizzling meat in the giant pot, and then his hunger won me a weapon.

I just hoped that he didn’t spread the word that the universe thought me insane.

I was so going to slap the "return to sender" rune on his forehead if he did!

Good with children... I was not.

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