Bastian
Chapter 180 - Until the Endpoint

✧Until the Endpoint✧

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

As soon as the trio of kids arrived, laughter and chatter filled the quiet house.

Bastian watched the mess form quickly. It reminded him a little of the battlefield, with how quickly things get turned on its head. The two young boys sped around the house like frustrated colts and took them less than an hour to turn the house into a mess. The carpets were all covered in dirt, cupboards and drawers were turned out of their contents as the boys explored with insatiable curiosity. The worst of it all, the youngest burst into tears when ever he saw Bastian.

   “This will not do,” Odette said, comforting the child in her arms. She remained surprisingly calm through it all.

   The two boys resorted to their favourite pass time, arguing with each other and wresting on the floor. They tussled over toys on the carpet, like a couple of fighting ferrets.

   “Could you take them outside?” Odette said to Bastian as she passed the two brothers. 

   “Where?” Bastian asked with a puzzled look. The youngest looked up at him and started bawling her eyes out again.

   “Huweee…” she wailed and stretched out her tiny, handpointing at bastian. “Lion.” Odette immediately tried to comfort the child, burying her deep in her embrace.

   “What does she mean?”

   “She means you look like a lion and it scares her,” Odette said with a chuckle, the timid youngest child was fearful of the unfamiliar towering man.

   “Take the other two outside, throw a ball around, splash in some water or something, I don’t know. I will look after this one.” Odette said, pointing to the stream beyond the window, “Oh, come on, Bastian.” 

   The two eldest boys followed after Bastian without any issues, they were not like the youngest, they did not think Bastian was all that scary. As soon as Bastian was out of sight, the youngest stopped crying and Odette gently rocked her in her arms. She drifted off to sleep quite quickly and as gently as she could, laid her down on the sofa.

   Once the girl was settled, she went to the kitchen window and caught the feeling that she was in a strange dream. She watched the three of them kick a ball about . One one of them kicked the ball so hard that it landed in the stream, Bastian did not hesitate in rolling up his trouser legs and wading in after it. He was generally a wait and see type of person, but when one of the kids wanted something, he did not hesitate to oblige. She had never seen this side of him before.

   Coming out of the water with a smile on his face, he barely seemed to notice that he was soaked and carried on kicking the ball with the others. He kept up with the children’s hectic pace. It seemed to be his natural talent given he likely had no prior experience with childcare.

   She couldn’t take her eyes off Bastian, who was smiling like a fresh spring morning. It wasn’t until her eyes started to hurt from staring so long that she suddenly realised the identity of her sorrow.  They could have had a life like this, together. If only they weren’t so foolish. If only life hadn’t been so ruthless. If only fortune’s goddess had bestowed them with a single, kindly smile.

   Shards of regret struck at her heart. The child that was supposed to come into the world with the summer had fallen asleep in an eternal winter. Watching Bastian playing with the boys made her realise what she had lost.

   As Odette turned away from the window, unable to bare the pain any longer. The youngest of the three children was standing in the entrance to the kitchen.

   “Mommy!”

Her heart tripped over itself when the child called out. Perhaps it would have been more bearable to linger in the awkward silence..but …there was no turning back, just like the countless thoughtless decisions she made in the past.

Gathering her emotions, Odette drew the curtain and turned around to approach the child

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

As lunch time approached, the children started to lose their spirit. Bastian arrived home with the two boys, weary from playtime. As he stepped inside, he found a worn-out Odette, snoozing on the couch and lovingly embracing their littlest one.

Bastian climbed the stairs to the second floor, carrying the two boys on his shoulders. He gently placed them onto his sleeping mat in Odette’s room, after that changed his clothes, then made his way downstairs to prepare meal. 

Just as he reached the first floor heading for the kitchen, he bumped into the youngest child who had just woken up. She looked at Bastian with dreamy eyes and gave a surprised gasp, shrinking back in alarm. Before the child could make any noise, however, Bastian plucked up a doll from the floor and handed it to her. And for the first time, she smiled at him.

   “What time is it?” Odette asked, stirring from her shallow nap.

   “About one,” Bastian said after checking his watch. He set the toy aside and took a seat at the sofa.

   Odette did her best to sit up a little straighter. There was an affectionate warmth in her eyes as she looked down at the child. Perhaps it’s because her motherly love, why the children followed her so willingly. The sudden thought that she’d make an incredible mother coaxed a painful smile from him.

   “I should go and prepare lunch, would you mind looking after the child?” She said, gently easing the child into her arms so that she could lift her off.

   “Me, that kid?”

   “You’ll be fine, she’s not dangerous and I think this one has gotten used to you,” Odette said, placing the complaining child into his arms and leaving for the kitchen. “Look, She laugh at you.” 

 After teaching him how to care for the child, Odette hurried to the kitchen. Bastian looked down at the child, who was looking right back up at him, her little eyes wide and trying to work things out. She looked about the room for Odette and when she couldn’t find her, Bastian could see she was about to let out the tears. He tried to entice her with various toys and teddies, but nothing was working, so he held her tight and carried her to the kitchen where Odette was preparing a late lunch.

   Once the child saw Odette, she calmed a little and Odette stroked her forehead. “I’m just making us some lunch, okay, so be good for Uncle Bastian.”

  This seemed to do the trick as the child calmed and accepted Bastian a little better. He took the child out into the garden and she became quite chatty.

   “Flower,” she said, pointing to the flower bed. Bastian laughed and picked the flower she pointed to. One bunch. Another bunch.  Her smile, blooming with each gifted flower, made it seem as if she held the entire world in her tiny hands.

Bastian stared down at the child holding a hand full of colorful flowers, without realising he was smiling. His mind drifted to the spring, when he expecting to be a father himself and the unexpected event of having to bury his own child in amongst the flowers.

He opened my eyes and saw the child’s brightly shining eyes looking at him. Silently, she reached out, tracing a tender path down his cheek.

   “Come get your lunch,” Odette called out of the kitchen window.

   Bastian knew he was going to remember this day for as long as he lived, the perfect imitation of a happy life, with a happy wife and happy children. It was both a blessing and maybe a curse.

*.·:·.✧.·:·.*

The children’s mother returned earlier than expected and Odette saw them off, waving to them as they walked down the garden path. 

“Bye-bye!” Bastian only flashed a smile when the child in his mother’s arms gently waved at him.

“Would you like to stay for tea?” he suddenly asked as she turned around. Odette looked at him like he was a stranger. She understood and respected his choice, an ending she had fervently hoped for. Yet, she found herself grappling with a sense of emptiness she couldn’t understand

   “Oh no, I can’t, I am far too tired, I will end up falling asleep on the couch.”

   Odette was half relieved that she could not stay, she too was tired and fancied taking a quick nap before dinner. With excuses made and the neighbours going their separate ways, Odette climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She laid out on the bed without even trying to take off her day dress and closed her eyes, but she couldn’t relax, her nerves were only growing sharper.

   They finally snapped when she heard banging coming from the back garden. Frustrated, Odette threw herself off the bed and went to the back window to see Bastian, with tools laid out, hammering away at the old, rickety garden table. It was always hidden under a table cloth, but he had noticed that it needed a lot of care and attention.

   She was grateful that he would take the time to fix her garden furniture, but every time she heard the sound of the hammer hitting wood, her heart leapt in her chest. With each hammer strike, with each time her heart jumped, she could feel her broken hearts resolve and she knew the ugly truth. 

Like it or not, Bastian Klauswitz was the first man in her life. 

Every ‘first’ she had experienced was with him. She was certain those memories would remain, indelible and enduring, despite their parting.

   She thought she wanted to cover up the scarred beginning with a convenient lie. Even if it was a shallow self-deception, it would be okay, he would have his child as part of his revenge and she could get away, having served her purpose. It was better that then remaining with him as a pitiful woman.

   She realised that she wanted him to desire her, not pity her and that was the reason last night was so awkward. Odette’s feet moved on their own accord and did not stop until she was standing in the back garden. Bastian had finished mending the table and chairs and was not working on the water pump.

   “Will you stop,” Odette ordered. Bastian froze mid motion and looked at her with confusion wrinkling his forehead. “I don’t want traces of you left behind, so please stop and just leave things alone.”

   “What? Okay, I wasn’t after any gratitude, sister,” Bastian said indifferently and continued greasing the pump mechanism.

 She roughly grabbed his wrist,  “You really shouldn’t.”

   “Don’t get pushy.”

   “If you really want to pity me, then just give me money or something. There is no need to fix anything, there are workmen in the village that will be glad of the work… ”

   Vang! The pump suddenly exploded and a spray of water gushed out into Bastian’s face.

   “See why you’ve gone and done, leave it.”

   Bastian sputtered as he tried to tighten the screw. Slowly, the jet of water slowed to a gush, then a trickle. Odette, who was also drenched, ran back into the kitchen. Bastian followed after her once the flow of water stopped. Odette was leaning against the kitchen counter, working a tea towel through her hair and glared at him.

   “Don’t pity me,” Odette said at just short of a shout.

   “Pity?”

   “Isn’t this enough?” she asked, her eyes going red. “Don’t make me feel even more pitiful.” Her pleading made her voice tremble.

   Bastian chuckled, who here was really behaving like they were giving alms to a beggar? It was amusing to see Odette behaving so absurdly, but what was funnier was that all of his senses were directed toward her.

Pity.

   The smell of her was strong because of how damp she was and the soaked dress clung to her curves, giving just enough of a hint to her nakedness to rouse his spirit. Recalling the events of last night made him short of breath.

After all I’ve done to protect you.-He resented her for pushing him away, but he still loved her.

   Bastian felt the mad desire to vent his frustrations, unable to cope any longer with a wounded heart. He didn’t need to think to understand it.

   “I think you might have misunderstood something,” Bastian said as he approached Odette, stopping only when he was in front of her. “Do you want me to show you what being pitied really looks like?” Even in his mocking tone, his eyes were soft and warm.

   Odette held back the tears by throwing her arms around him and forcing her lips onto his deeply. Their breath mingles, their tongues danced around each other, their bodies became one.

   Neither of them could resist any longer. Bastian scooped Odette up in his arms and began to climb the stairs. The old stairs groaned under their weight, the noise mingling with their uneven breaths. Odette clung to him, like ivy to a sturdy wall, her eyes tightly shut.

Just as Bastian said that he would go to the end, she also wanted to be there with him at that endpoint.

For it was only after reaching the depths, that they could truly rise anew.

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