Bastian
Chapter 179 - The end of Disillusionment

✧The end of Disillusionment✧

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Odette’s kiss sent a wave of emotions through him like the ripples on the surface of a pond. Their lips softly met, warm and inviting, followed by a collective sigh before they tenderly kissed again. He gently closed his eyes and put his hands on her shoulder and pulled her in close. He could smell her sweet scent, feel her warmth and the fierce beating of her heart against his chest.

There was no way this could be a dream. While he was helplessly obsessed with her, a woman he could simply brush away with his fingertips, their awkward kiss,  bit by bit, turned into something far more passionate. After he had taken his fill of her passion, Bastian fought against the temptation and pulled away.

   “Bastian?” Odette said in a whisper and cupped his cheek.

   Reigned, he opened his eyes to look at her, her cheeks flush and her eyes feverish with desire, shimmering in the dark. She leans in and pressed her lips against his again, proving that it was not a desire borne from a momentary lapse in judgement, she wanted this and he gave in to the fervent kissing. He hugged her so tight and kissed her, he felt like he was going to absorb her into himself, and Odette returned his kiss with fervor, breaking down the final barrier between them she had been striving to uphold, as they would become one, two halves making the whole.

 Then, their positions changed. Bastian rolled on top of her, pressing against her soft, delicate frame and she pulled him into her as they kissed. Their breathing became deep and ragged, and sound of kissing underlined their passion. 

Their muffled moans filled the summer night. From her forehead to her nose, then cheek to chin, and finally back to those captivating lips. Bastian kissed every inch of her that he could see, nuzzling into her neck made her gasp in pleasure. His hand came up from her waist, detailing the very fine curves of her waist and all the way to her breast, hiding behind her nightgown. It fit snugly in the palm of his hand as he played with it, feeling her stiff nipple play between his fingers.

   She did not shrink away from him, she did not protest in any way. Her form trembled as she surrendered to the pleasure, looked pitiful, yet beautiful sight. Bastian then started to kiss down her front, taking the nightgown with him, exposing her creamy, silk skin an inch at a time, lacing kisses over every bit of exposed flesh. He moved to climb back on top of her, but the sight of her half-undressed body snapped him to full awareness.

Bastian stopped pulling down her underwear and sat up, taking deep breaths to calm himself. The moonlight cast his shadow over her nakedness. He face was pale, her hair was wild, her chest marked with traces of intense love-making, her lips reddened, and her turqoise eyes, bewildered about why he stopped, glazed over with the heat of the moment, 

   A thought came over him and just as suddenly as his desires came over him, they faded. Bastian wiped his face and turned away from Odette, sitting himself on the edge of the mattress. He could feel her eyes on him, Yet he didn’t return her gaze.

   Did she really want this or was she taking pity on him because of what happened last night, with the nightmares? He found it pathetic and sad that her heart would soften toward him so easily. He found himself pathetic for pretending not to know and accept the charity.

She was always showed her weakness so easily, which inadvertently made him see his own. 

   Bastian looked over his shoulder at Odette, the desire still smoldered within him, but a deeper frustration took root in his heart. She was still laying out in her pale nakedness.  Her misaligned nightgown revealed her white shoulders and legs, subtly illuminated by the moonlight.

 She was blinded by pity and he was blinded by her.

How pathetic this love was. Bastian gave a sorrowful laugh at the thought of his tragic love. He gently wrapped the still Odette in a blanket, lifting her with care to place her on the bed.

   “Bastian?” Odette said, grabbing the end of his sleeve as he was about to leave. 

Bastian, his eyes as deep and dark as the night, turned to look at her. 

Perhaps she was looking for some kind of consolation, reassurance that her saintly act was justified. Just like she stood by her bound father and loved her self-centered sister without question. Like she took in and cared a motherless stray dog, and showered her unwanted child with affection.

And now, she’s showing the same compassion to him.

   “It’s getting late, sister” Bastian calmly removed her hand. 

He had the chance to act on his desires, to be a jerk just this once, because it wouldn’t change the outcome. But he didn’t want to leave on a sour note, or to be an object of pity. He wanted her to know that he was not parting because of her, and it was the last bastion he wanted to guard.

   “Good night, Miss Marie,” Bastian said,  reminding himself of reality once again before he closed the bedroom door behind him.

The echo of footsteps in the hallway disrupted the tranquil night. Bastian returned to the guest bedroom and picked out a cigarette from the packet discarded on the window sill. He leaned back against the wall, its coolness chilling his back and he let out a rueful smile.

 He was still so very hard, the bulge in his pants was nearly painful in confining his lust. He desperately tried to suck the smoke, but the memory of Odette, devoted herself like an enchanting witch, wouldn’t dim.

His mind drift to the feel of her soft skin, the pliability of her breast, the sound of her whispered moans. In the end, Bastian slid his hands into his pants, letting himself give way to his uncontrollable lust. His heart aching with a pain that raged out of control. He tilted his head back, expelling the cigarette smoke he could not bear to hold within. His hand held the burning stick, veins bulging on its back, while the cords in his neck strained.

The rumble of ragged breaths and the squeak of aged floorboards shattered the night silence, much like a pebble disturbing the underwater calm.

 Bastian pursued all the way to the end of his insatiable desire, letting out a moan as his climax wracked his body with spasms, filling the air with the scent of his sordid desire. He took off his pajama, cleaned himself up and relit the cigarette, closing his eyes.

It took some more time before he could properly blow out a cloud of smoke at the moon.

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Surprisingly Odette did not feel tired, despite having spent most of the night tossing and turning in her bed. She lay in the dawn light, staring up at the ceiling. She had done something rash and stupid. The embarrassment of it made her cheeks go red, even as she thought how she was going to face Bastian this morning.

   Odette heard Bastian waking up and clamped her eyes shut, like he was going to know that she was awake. She listened to him tidy up the mattress and left her bedroom. She then breathed a sigh of relief when she heard him head out for his morning routine.

   Only then did she slide out of bed, seeing the neatly folded floral-patterned quilt Bastian had left behind, heat once again rose in her cheeks.

 She had done something so crazy, there was no other words for it.

Last night, Bastian returned late and simply went to his own bed as though nothing had happened. His disturbingly normal behaviour once again conveyed a clear message; she was a woman he trampled out of hatred yet he also showed care for out of pity. 

Her meaning to him hadn’t changed at all since the past.The realization caused her heart to ache unbearably. But with time, she came to terms with reality and finally understood him.

   Bastian had come here to resolve their issues, to try and forge some sort of satisfying conclusion. He must have felt remorse for the sins committed by his half-brother and stepmother and came to pity the woman he had hated for so long. Odette could understand his reasoning to nullify the engagement with Sandrine, he wasn’t an entirely heartless man and probably didn’t want to drag Sandrine into his drama.

   He tried to atone by committing himself to his work, conducting himself to his duties, but it ultimately led to his destruction once more. Odette could see now that the guild had become a painful shackle. That was why he came back to her. He must believe that a new beginning is the only way to break the chain. Just like she had done once, just like she knew of the shackles that bound them together.

   Odette felt even more ashamed of her actions. They had made progress since his time in Rothewein, she felt they could actually be friends after everything they had done to each other and she tried to push herself onto him. She was ashamed, sure, but she was also able to understand Bastian’s true feelings because of it. She had no regret.

As Odette sought order in her muddled thoughts, the impatient summer sun climbed its zenith. Unwilling to waste another moment, she started the day and bravely went downstairs.

   The idea of having to face Bastian again was daunting, but she knew that she could not simply hide herself away from him. 

He was the man she would say her final goodbye to tomorrow.

She could not let herself get swept up in confused emotions again, so she decided to be even more brazen. There was no point in trying to save face and hold onto dignity. What had happened, happened and it was time to start acting like an adult about it.

So, how should she spend their last day?  As Odette was preparing breakfast, Bastian returned. He jumped over the wall of the back garden and doused himself under the water pump, washing his sweaty face. She suddenly felt ashamed wearing high-neckline blouse that was ill-suited for the sweltering weather. Odette didn’t realise she was staring at his toned physique through the kitchen window until he looked directly at her.

Without any time to look away, their eyes met, their gazes interlocking. Her heart skipped, her desire flowed and her breathing became deep. Memories of that mortifying night, when she’d been left alone to change her damp clothes, flashed across the face of the man who shone as brilliantly as the sun.

Unconsciously, Odette found herself holding her breath. Memories of that mortifying night, when she’d been left alone to change her damp clothes, flashed across the face of the man who shone as brilliantly as the sun.

Understanding the past no longer held any meaning. There were motions beyond empathy and guilt, yet nothing would change their reality. 

She kept questioning herself, Where did her heart truly belong? but the answer eluded her. Suddenly everything was shrouded in a purple fog and just when she thought she was going to suffocate, Bastian simply walked away without doing or saying anything.

   Startled by her childish reaction to seeing Bastian wet body, she shook her head and turned away from the window. Still flustered though, she tried to turn the sausages and flip the eggs. The doorbell made her jump and she was glad for the distraction.

   “I’m sorry for coming by so early, Miss Marie,” said the village teachers wife when Odette opened the door.

   “No, not at all. Is there something the matter?”

   “I need to go into Rothewein, to attend a school committee meeting. Unfortunately, Mrs Schiller, who had said she could look after the kids while I was away, just called to tell me she has the flu. Would you mind helping me out? I’m so sorry its last minute, but could you? Only until 3.” She said as repeatedly checked her wristwatch.  She seemed very busy.

“If your cousin feel uncomfortable, you can refuse….” 

“It’s fine,” Bastian spoke for her when Odette didn’t know what to say, “It would be my pleasure to repay your kindness for lending me your bicycle,” he said in warm and gentle voice.

   “Oh my, Mr. Lovis, you are too kind.” The teacher smiled brightly as if she had won the lottery. 

   “Er, yes, just like my cousin, I’m happy to be able to help. We’ve always owed you so much.” Odette said with a kind smile. Fortuitously, this meant they would avoid an uncomfortable, stifling atmosphere.

The teacher departed, bubbling with excitement, promising to return with the children in two hours.

   Odette excused herself and returned to the kitchen, continuing with her meal preparations. She ignored Bastian’s gaze trailing after her.

The breakfast will need to be hearty if they were going to be looking after kids all day.

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