Awakening to a Special-Grade Explorer
Vol. 4 - Ch. 160 - Lost Emotions/Desires

Limey's words pushed Tenji into a mental debate. Losing a part of their emotion in exchange for strength was what made them a 'lacking person' huh, he mused.

He guessed if it's named 'lacking person,' that means they must have lost something. Or in border terms, was it connected to their humanity? He had been debating over this point all this. Though, Limey's words once again shed a new light on the information; In exchange for power.

"Is it applicable only to zero-grade calling holders?"

"If you mean to ask a precise answer, then no. Let's say, words around are that the mismatch between emotions and desire, the <Unbalance Phenomenon>, is something that becomes apparent in second-grade or above calling holders."

"Unbalanced Phenomenon? Never heard about it."

"Hmm, this is how a majority of explorers call it among themselves. The official name is already forgotten. And, that has been kept off-limits so of course these words mustn't have reached your ears. Only a percentage of students; to be more precise, only third years or above attending explorers related high schools are aware of that. Right, there's also lecture about it in Mallorca Esquella."

"......Can you explain a bit more about that phenomenon? Perhaps, this is just as related to me."

"But of course."

While saying that, Limey shifted her gaze from the dark forest, spreading beneath, and to the beautiful waning gibbous moon floating above. The illuminating moon looked slightly delighted today, as its contour remained lit even amidst the dark veil.

After a pause, Limey continued.

"According to others, it mainly aggravates their human emotions. Like, some felt an overflowing love, some felt too sleepy, or their appetite increased exponentially......each differs from person to person. What's your strongest emotion? What would you say is your intense trait?"

"Maybe......appetite? I have been eating a bit too much lately. I thought it was the recoil from my destitute life."

"Close, but not point on."

Limey shook her head and cut down his assumption. And then continued in suspenseful tone.

"The correct answer is it's your desire to eat that has increased in exchange for the formidable strength you have gained. Speaking against it...is there any emotion or desire that you can't feel recently?"

"......Emotions I can't feel? Perhaps my anger? I can't feel much anger welling up in me lately as I get stronger. Though I am not even sure by myself."

"Oh? You are capable of self-analysis huh. That's a surprise, and certainly a welcome one. What you describe is precisely the said unbalanced phenomenon. Which desire you don't feel more, which of your desire has suddenly become more apparent, and which of your emotions has lessened......honestly, there's just myriads of emotions or desires out there to identify. And this same phenomenon rears its head more stronger as the grade of calling goes up."

It was finally then that Limey's words sink into him; the true meaning behind 'to lose a part of emotion in exchange of strength,'

At the same time, he couldn't help but labelled it as an extremely cruel phenomenon.

Their emotions and desires that they had since birth, whether influenced by genetics or circumstance, went poof just like this. And if that wasn't enough, the stronger they're, the more intense the phenomenon was. It was like someone was forcing them to go through this transformation.

(It all makes sense now......recalling back, my appetite had increased a lot than before. And rarely anything can put a dent on my emotions.)

All the dots were now connected inside Tenji's mind. Whatever the truth was, it was far closer to him than he ever noticed.

"I think I understand what that 'lacking person' means. And what you said that it is something only applicable to zero-grade calling holders...the holders of zero-grade calling simply have a part of their emotions completely stripped off. Isn't it?”

“Correct. One could explain up or down in emotions upto first-grade explorers through ‘unbalanced’. However for people like us, it goes so far above that you only a word like ‘lacking’ could describe us.”

Limey stared at the sky with a bit of a mystified expression.

Staring at her side profile, Tenji opened his mouth to ask—

“And what's that you lost is—”

“The human emotions…whether it's joy, anger, grief and pleasure—I have completely lost all four of them. No longer I can recall how it's like to be giggling at funny things, angry at mistakes, grief at sad news, or making merry. Just an empty husk.”

Search the lightnovelworld.cc website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.