Wife of The Demon Prince
Chapter 203: Never let it go

Chapter 203: Never let it go

Hamon stared at Merek, who had suddenly returned to his work without being told to,"Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be with my sister-in-law until they return to the north?"

"I have nothing to do there, and besides I think my work here is already piling up with my long time absence."

"You needn’t worry about that, all your work has been taken care of by Oliver. You should go back to the Boxton’s." Hamon had an indifferent air around him, but Merek ignored it. This wasn’t meant to be a friendly conversation anyway.

"I have placed a replacement for the lady. So you don’t have to worry about her safety, nothing will endanger her."

Hamon knew Merek so well, once he made up his mind, there was no going back. He offered him a resigned nod, "Very well then. It’s late now, you may leave and start your work tomorrow."

"Yes, your highness." Merek was about to leave, but stopped when he noticed how Hamon sat in his study not doing anything in particular. The crown Prince only does that when something was troubling his mind, "What is wrong, Your Highness?"

Hamon glanced at Merek with a faint smile, "You know me too well...I am worried."

"If you want, I am here to lend you a listening ear...what is worrying you?" Merek could sense the Prince’s worry, though his expression usually remained the same, there were always tell tale signs of when he was bothered about something, however the words that came out of Hamon’s mouth were not what he expected to hear.

"Merek...have you ever felt like the things you’ve been longing for came true, but then it worries you to death having it?"

"...?"

"It almost doesn’t feel real. The dream I’ve anticipated for years, has finally come true, but then I can’t believe it, and it worries me to death that everything is just an illusion, something that would disappear or be taken away in the blink of an eye..."

In Hamon’s previous life, he’d spent countless nights thinking about Ara, and the moment they met again in this lifetime. His dreams, of course, including his fantasy of being loved by her. He wanted to own her heart, to have her for himself, and he’d wildly, frantically hoped that one day she’d return his feelings. And now that it happened, she’d confessed to him, so heart felt and lovingly, she was even willing to lose her life for his sake. He now fully understood what it was like to be loved.

The reality of it was incredible. Even after she’d discovered the terrifying secret he wanted to hide from her, she still looked at him with warmth and love in her eyes, filled with smiles and an endless assurance to never leave his side.

"Merek, sometimes happiness just never lasts...The moment you get used to it, it will eventually get stolen by fate or some other things we can’t control. I want to convince myself that I should be happy while it lasts now...But deep down, I have this feeling that something is coming to take it away again." Hamon’s red eyes glowed in the dim lit study room.

Ever since he was born, he had never had his way in life. He never wanted all these powers he possessed now, nor did he want to be a crown Prince or even take the throne. All he wanted was a normal life, but everything he ever wanted was taken away from him right from childhood...His beloved mother abandoned him after making him a monster without any explanation, and his own father only wanted him to be king to keep his strong bloodline for Findara.

Although Hamon may appear to be cold and wealthy to others, but to him, he’d always lost much of what he wanted in life. ’...And I almost lost her as well.’

The moment he saw Ara died in his arms, he thought the world was over for him. But, he would never allow the world to dare take his wife away from him.

However, his fears were starting to surpass his fury, he was afraid that yet again he could never have what he wanted. He wouldn’t be able to bear to lose her again.

Hamon stroked the emerald diamond on his ring with a distant look on his face. Merek, who had been listening silently finally spoke, "Are you afraid that the thing that gives you happiness would now be taken away?"

"Mhm..."

Merek’s eyebrows furrowed, "Then why don’t you just let that thing go now before you get too attached to it and it disappears later?"

"If it were as simple as you made it sound, I wouldn’t have been this worried, would I?" Hamon smiled faintly, "No matter what, I don’t want to ever let it go, even if it means sinking and disappearing off the face of the earth with it."

Even though Hamon knew it would be best to be alone in this battle with his enemies, he didn’t want to let Ara go, he wanted her to be with him until the very end. Yes, he knew in this battle for the throne, his enemies would try to only target what was more precious to him, his greatest weakness. His wife, but he couldn’t just let go of her...

He never knew something that makes one happy could also be the reason to install dread into ones heart.

Merek scratched the back of his neck as if he was finding it hard to understand what Hamon was saying, "I am not sure am the best person to solve this worry of yours this time..."

"It’s alright. I knew you wouldn’t be able to help anyway." Hamon rose from his seat. It was already getting too late, and he had to return to their chamber where Ara might be waiting for him or already asleep.

Hamon walked towards the door, then suddenly stopped and turned back to Merek, who was still standing on the same spot, "If you ever find something that makes you happy but worries you...don’t abandon it or run away from it. Face it until the very end, Merek."

Merek was still puzzled by this conversation, he had no idea what Hamon was speaking of, but he managed to reply, "You said you’re afraid of it, so why still want to keep it? I’d rather avoid and let go of it than keep it and risk going through the pain of losing it later."

Hamon smiled, "Sometimes you can’t just do that, you have to fight your fears and keep it no matter what...never Let it go, because it will be too late when you realize how much you should have fought to keep it when it’s gone." Hamon continued to absentmindedly play with his ring. It was true that he was afraid of losing Ara, but he couldn’t bear to simply push her away from him to keep her safe. He would rather eliminate all the dangers instead of avoiding her.

After saying what he wanted to say, he resumed to walk towards the door, but Merek’s voice stopped him again, "Your Highness...I think I already lost it, and it’s too late to get it back."

Hamon turned around with a small frown, but before he could question what he lost, Merek quickly said, "Good night, I’ll see you again tomorrow morning." He said and walked out of the study room in a hurry. Hamon just stared at his retreating back for a moment.

Both men understood the darkness each of them held in their heart from their childhood. They had to fight their internal conflict alone. Hamon didn’t dwell on Merek’s words and made to their chamber assuming that Ara would be sleeping by now. It was the right thing to do considering she was still recovering from injuries, however, to his complete surprise his wife was no where in their chamber.

Hamon searched the room with a frown, he checked the dressing room, the bathroom, but she wasn’t there. He left the room and started to look for her around his residence. His worry intensified double when he didn’t see any signs of her in the building.

As he went to the kitchen area, he came across Emma, who told him where his wife was, however Hamon couldn’t help but feel something about this particular maid his wife brought, was different. Everytime he was around her, there was this energy radiating from her he couldn’t quite place a finger on.

Oliver had told him she was the one to tell him about the attack on them that night, he’d suspected Emma to be a mole but he knew if she was, she wouldn’t have told Oliver to send the soldiers that night...He would have to investigate about this maid later on.

Hamon didn’t stay to dwell on his suspicions for long, because he had to go get his wife. He didn’t like where she was right at the moment.

’Why can’t she just listen to me and stay in bed.’