Urban Medical Immortal Dad
Chapter 590: Strike While the Iron is Hot_1

Chapter 590: Chapter 590: Strike While the Iron is Hot_1

"What Renzhong Huang? It’s just shit!"

Tao Pinggui was furious, "Mo Han, are you deliberately messing with me? Who the hell treats illnesses with shit?"

"Not at all!"

At that moment, Gui Nongsang spoke up, "Chairman Tao, Renzhong Huang really is a type of traditional medicine. Throughout history, countless medicines have been made using excrement."

"Ye Mingsha, the feces of bats, can clear the liver and improve vision, disperse blood stasis and reduce swellings. It’s used for night blindness, cataracts, red and swollen eyes, conjunctival hemorrhage, and other similar conditions."

"Can Sha, silkworm droppings, used for rheumatism, pain relief, and joint issues. Taking it for half a month can provide relief, and it is also effective for regulating menstrual periods."

"Wangyue Sha, hare droppings, which can improve vision, detoxify, and kill parasites. It’s very effective for hemorrhoids too."

"There are many other similar examples of animal feces being used, and they indeed have quite good therapeutic effects on some human diseases. I used to prescribe these medicines quite often myself."

Listening to Gui Nongsang’s convincing explanation, Tao Pinggui started to waver.

Could shit really cure diseases?

Still, eating animal feces was somewhat acceptable to him; after all, isn’t that what they do with civet coffee from abroad? They feed the coffee beans to musk cats, let them pass it out, then grind the beans into powder and brew it into a drink.

But the idea of eating human shit was crossing a line for him.

It was disgusting.

Tao Wu, however, was the quickest to react, saying, "How about we get it from a nearby kindergarten using the kids’ feces?"

Compared to adults, children’s feces are much cleaner, so Tao Pinggui felt slightly less repulsed by the idea.

However, just as he was about to accept the suggestion, Mo Han intervened, "No!"

"The feces of young children are warm in nature and not suited as a medicinal guide. Chairman Tao has many toxins in his body; we need feces from an adult, and it must be from within half an hour, cold feces won’t do."

Tao Liu then suggested, "How about from a woman?"

"I could check out the nearby university town, find some pretty college girls, and offer them a high price to... you know?"

Snort...

A bodyguard behind Tao Pinggui couldn’t help but burst out laughing, and the others started to chuckle along too.

"Hm? Who’s laughing!" Tao Pinggui bellowed angrily, damn it, are they mocking me?

The bodyguard promptly straightened his face, and the others quickly frowned, pretending to be serious.

"Girls won’t do either."

Mo Han shook his head and said, "Chairman Tao’s condition requires the feces of an adult male, preferably older—the older, the better."

"This is because the yang in old people diminishes, making their feces more yin in nature. Such Renzhong Huang is most suitable for treating toxin accumulation and stagnation in blood and qi."

As if fearing disbelief, Mo Han raised three fingers and swore to the heavens, "I, Mo Han, swear on my mother-in-law’s life, if you use the method I’ve suggested, Chairman Tao, your genital ulceration will be cured for sure."

"If it’s not, may my mother-in-law be struck down by thunder from the sky!"

Achoo...

Meanwhile, in a mahjong parlor, Yang Meifeng sneezed. Touching her nose, she wondered, why did I suddenly sneeze? Could it be someone is talking about me?

"I’ve said what I had to say. If you don’t believe it, there’s nothing I can do."

Mo Han spread his hands, watching Tao Pinggui cautiously, "Remember, I’m not giving back that billion."

The mention of a billion hadn’t bothered Tao Pinggui until it came up, and then his eyes flared with rage.

Damn Mo Han! With just a few words, he conned ten billion from me!

No, I can’t give up now!

With that thought, he gritted his teeth and said, "Fine! I’m fifty-four, surely I can eat my own, right?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

Mo Han looked at him with disdain, "Your body is full of toxins, so anything you excrete will be toxic. What use is eating your own feces?"

"But..."

Tao Pinggui felt uncomfortable. Not allowed to eat the feces of children, women, even his own—damn it, wasn’t this just torture?

Tao Liu’s eyes roved, falling on Gui Nongsang, "Doctor Gui, please help us to the end. Whether Chairman Tao can be saved depends on your Renzhong Huang... "

"I’m afraid that’s not possible."

Gui Nongsang’s face reddened as he replied, "You see, my digestion is rather good. I go to the bathroom once every morning. I can’t produce any now."

Now Tao Wu was at a loss. If the oldest man in the house couldn’t help, where were they to find the Renzhong Huang of an elderly person?

"Ahem!"

At that moment, Mo Han cleared his throat and suggested, "There’s an elderly activity center about three bus stops from here. I’ve seen many seniors there, in their seventies and eighties, strolling around. Maybe Chairman Tao can send someone to have a look?"

Having decided to proceed with Renzhong Huang, Tao Pinggui no longer held any reservations. He nodded and instructed, "Tao Wu, take a few people and head over there—quickly, and make sure it’s still warm."

If he had been sent to find girls, Tao Wu would have been eager, but the thought of searching for feces from octogenarians left him unenthusiastic. Yet, unable to disregard Tao Pinggui’s words, he resignedly nodded and replied, "Understood, I’ll make the arrangements right away."