To His Hell and Back
Chapter 231: I Have Never Hated-III

Chapter 231: I Have Never Hated-III

Cassius’s crimson eyes lingered on her, his expression unreadable, it was too still, too quiet, as though weighing every word she had said against the years they had lost. Then he looked up and met her gaze. His voice, when it came, was low but sincere, just as Arabella had urged him. She had told him to speak now, to show his heart as bare as he could, before his sister was gone for good.

"Looking after you was never a burden," he said, his firm words reminded Marissa in their youth as she had always seen him alone yet undeterred and powerfully so. He looked at her and a hint of gentleness touched her heart. "It was my responsibility but never something I regretted."

Marissa’s eyes softened. "So you knew," she murmured, "that I’ve always felt guilty... knowing you had to suffer alone for both our sakes."

"You wear your guilt poorly," he replied gently with a faint chuckle. "It wasn’t hard to see through."

She let out a small, rueful laugh. "I spent so many years trying to find a way, any way, to repay you. To give something back. But you never let me. You always kept me at a distance."

Her voice quieted, touched with something bittersweet. "And now I realize... maybe you did that on purpose. So I wouldn’t feel like I owed you anything and lived in the constant bound of this castle due to guilt. You made sure I won’t feel so... even if it meant letting me think you were cold."

Cassius’s gaze didn’t waver. There was no denial, no apology only a faint shadow of something old and aching flickering in his eyes.

"I never wanted you to carry that weight," he said. "Not in a world like this."

He then went quiet and stared at his hands, "You might have been born only a year after me, not such a large age different yet despite that I wish deeply that you didn’t have to go through what I did. Just one of us was enough."

"Brother..." she whispered, a lump forming on her throat as she rushed forward and pulled him for a hug.

Cassius on the couch was startled as her arms pulled his body for an embrace.

He was still for a moment, not knowing what to do. To someone who had been used to affection, they would know to return a hug back but to someone who doesn’t, like Cassius, their hands would hung before the other person’s shoulder, hanging still in the air so awkwardly.

However he closed his eyes, thinking that only Marissa’s hug and one from Arabella were the ones that wouldn’t put him on guard.

"I said all that," Cassius muttered near her ear, his voice low, "but honestly. I don’t think you should feel grateful to me either. I’m not innocent. I’ve treated you badly, more than once."

Marissa let out a light laugh. "I know. And I also know you don’t feel guilty about any of it but who am I to judge? I had also treated you terribly, I even left you alone and looked away when I knew father dragged you into that whipping room. I have been whipped once but that itself was stopped as you took the punishment in my stead. I have done worse... more shameful as your younger sister."

Cassius rolled his crimson eyes. "It was nothing. A hit or two isn’t so painful. Besides I have told you how even after you cut my head, I’m not the type who would die. I do think I could have improved my way of protecting you but I’d kill that bastard again if I could."

Marissa used to hate him for killing her once human lover but she has grown and the pain has eased up, making her to see it clearly for herself but don’t worry," he paused, then met her gaze with a glint of amusement, "I won’t kill that Hans of yours."

Marissa blinked once, twice, thrice. "You knew?!"

"This castle is mine," Cassius said simply, lifting a golden goblet from the desk with lazy elegance. "I know every inch of it. Every whisper, every secret and all the skeletons buried beneath the floors. I know everything," he repeated, and in that moment, Marissa finally understood- he knew about her plan to elope. And he wasn’t going to stop her.

A quiet beat passed between them before she spoke, her voice softer now. "Then what will you do, after I leave?"

Cassius tilted his head slightly, studying her. "I’ll take the crown," he said, matter-of-factly. "But once you leave this place don’t look back. Don’t wonder what became of me. Don’t try to help. Don’t send prayers. Don’t offer support. Just pretend you were born far away from all this- from me, from the palace, from the blood and politics and curses."

He met her eyes again, serious now. "Pretend you were never a princess at all."

"I will send you letters," Marissa said and before Cassius could disapprove the idea, she firmly reiterated her words, "I will send you letters."

Cassius sighed, "Whatever makes you delighted then."

She chuckled in response. It has always been like this when it comes to Cassius. He will tell you not to do something, but he would never stop you fully.

"But what about the marriage? Father won’t pass you the crown unless you marry a princess," Marissa frowned, "Don’t tell me that you’re going to make Arabella your mistress."

"Mistress," scoffed Cassius, "Who puts their treasure in such a disgusting term? That won’t happen and father won’t be the one who would pass me the crown."

Marissa gulped as understanding came to her. She finally understood what Cassius meant and how he would put that crown to his own head.

"The castle will be bloody soon," he then noted, "So it is a great idea for you to escape now."

Marissa was worried but somewhere she believes in her brother, knowing well that he would be there and alive, that he would survive and no one would dare to hurt him.

Once he became the King, their suffering shall end and though that would mean losing her father, Marissa didn’t thought of opposing Cassius.

After all their father was the cause of all this and it was time for him to be left in history.

"Hans is a good man," Cassius leaned his head, "But if he ever makes you cry, you can come back."

"You just told me not to come back," she laughed at him and he turned, smirking.

"Don’t come back if you’re happy but come back if you can’t handle it anymore," Cassius sincerely said then he looked at his hands again before looking at Marissa, recollecting her younger self and her current image. She was taller now, beautiful, alive.

She looks so similar to their mother but he swore that she wouldn’t have to live the life of their mother, not again.

"Congratulation," he then said his departed words and though Marissa could feel tears swelling in her eyes, she eased herself, smiling widely back at him.

"Congratulation to you too brother," then she curtsied, as if gathering all her last aspect of a princess, bowing toward him. "Bless the Crown Prince of Versailles. May everything bow down to you."

Cassius smiled as he watched his sister leaving the study room. When he closed his eyes, he found himself smiling, not sad, no regret.

He thought of how correct Arabella was and how talking tonight was better than never doing so.

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