To His Hell and Back
Chapter 222: Rose Scented Words-II

Chapter 222: Rose Scented Words-II

song recommendation: Cry- Cigarettes after sex.

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The two of them were foreign to the idea of love. One who think love is a privilege she could never have, knowing well that trusting someone is akin to a curse while the other who believes love to be non existent, believing that he would never know love as his heart had stopped searching for one.

It wasn’t that they had grown cold to the idea of love or deluded themselves into thinking that they don’t love each other. They simply couldn’t believe that they were capable of loving- That one day love would ever come for them.

But now the said love they thought would never belong to them has arrived right in front of them, in a form of a person, in a form of someone who would never betray them, someone who they knew would always be by their side.

When Cassius grasped her hand beside her face, his expression softened. The earlier desperation turned into a heartfelt sincerity as he admired her expression, one that was stunned and moved.

"I don’t know what bond we have to each other," he confessed, "I have thought about it but I always believe that a bond like this shouldn’t be named love. Not because I don’t want to believe that I cannot love you. But because I think that you shouldn’t love me."

Arabella stared into his eyes, feeling as if she had touched the deepest part of his soul by hearing his words.

"Why I shouldn’t love you?" She tried to remain strong though her voice betrayed her.

"Was there a reason to love something as filthy as me?"

Arabella’s eyes turned wide. She couldn’t help but feel the tears that welled up in her heart.

"You’re not filthy," she denied his words, "You never were filthy."

"I wonder," he whispered, "But when I looked back to my hands at times I could see it drenched with blood- blood that could never be washed away. I’m flawed, full of sins, and incapable of giving warmth to others as I should. I can’t live an honest life and murder is easier than talking. When I thought how much of an ugly person I am, I don’t think I should ever bound you into staying with me. I even thought to let you leave... as you should live a life free from all the burdens... free from me. Yet the moment I thought that I have to see you leave, I fear it. I fear the idea of you leaving far away from me even though at times I wonder if doing so would have allowed you to leave a better life."

Arabella’s breath hitched. For a moment, she couldn’t speak because deep down, she had expected Cassius to push her away eventually. But not like this. Not for such reason. She thought he would one day found someone better, someone who could give him what she couldn’t. Not with so much grief buried in his voice. Not with a confession so raw that it made her chest ache.

She leaned her face upward, her lashes trembled under the moonlight that peeked at the two’s secret confession, one that could determine the future of Versailles.

"Cassius," she whispered, "do you think I’m not broken too?"

His eyes flickered and immediately a frown appeared between his brows. Before his words, his expression had already disagreed with her words.

She smiled though her lips felt as if it was trembling, "I spent my whole life thinking that love was something meant for others. For softer girls. For purer people. Not for me who carries the sins of my parents. I thought I’d never trust anyone without losing pieces of myself. I thought I’d die alone, cursing the world and everything in it. Until you. I never thought about trusting someone but that’s a lie. Deep down I have always wanted to have someone I could trust. That person is you."

She could feel his hands loosening its grip and with a gentle move, she reached out to the side of his cheeks, her hands pressed to his cold skin, one that felt as cold as ice.

"I’m not here in spite of your sins," Arabella continued, "I’m here because even with all your flaws, all your darkness... you never turned that darkness on me. You protected me with it."

Cassius closed his eyes.

He didn’t cry not Cassius. But the way his hand curled around hers, the way he clutched her as though she was the last solid thing in a world of smoke and ruin it was enough.

"So give me an answer," Arabella felt as his hands pressed tight against her, cupping his cheeks. "I don’t want to stay with you just as someone. Not a slave. Not a pet. Not a friend."

Cassius’s red eyes opened again, this time it glowed bright in crimson. It turned fierce but not from the usual murderous nature he possess but rather a fierceness of a sworn oath.

"Then stay with me," He whispered, "Forever. Not as a friend. Not as a companion or a partner. But as something more. As my lover."

Arabella’s breath caught in her throat, as if the weight of those words pressed against her chest with the force of a lifetime of silence finally shattered. Lover. The word lingered between them, fragile and tender, trembling like a flame in a storm.

Her fingers brushed along his jaw, hesitant at first, then firmly as though she was memorizing the curve of his cheekbone, the cold skin warmed only slightly by the heat of her palm.

"And if I say yes?" she asked softly, not as a challenge but as a prayer. "If I stay with you not out of pity, not out of duty but because I choose you... what then, Cassius?"

His gaze didn’t falter. The glow in his crimson eyes shimmered, not with bloodlust, but with something far more terrifying which was hope.

"Then I will make you a promise I’ve never made to anyone," he said. "Not even to myself."

Arabella waited, the silence stretching between them like the space between two cliffs dangerous.

"I won’t promise to be good," he continued. "I won’t promise to be a saint, or that I won’t hurt others. But I swear, on everything I have left, that I will never raise my darkness against you. You are the only light that doesn’t blind me, Arabella. And if you stay, I will worship you like a sinner desperate for redemption I’ll never deserve."

The tears she had tried to hide finally slipped from her eyes, not from pain this time, but from the crushing enormity of being seen. Fully. Flawed. Human. Loved.

Arabella chuckled as she touched his cheeks with both hands now, pulling him closer to her eye level. He smile appeared wide and under the moonlight it was as if she had glowed from her inside like a diamond that was blessed by the gods above, glittering as though this was the only treasure Cassius ever seen.

"So corny," Arabella whispered as she leaned closer and pressed her forehead on his. When she stared at his eyes, her lashes brushed to his eyebrows, "I only need you to say three words."

Cassius broke into a smile, pressing his hands over the back of her neck and pulled her deeper into his arms, his lips desperately pressed against her soft lips and a warm desperate kiss shared between the two that warmed them up deep to their heart.

"I love you," Cassius said, swore, he promised.

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