There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 312 - 304. Folding Blanket

Chapter 312: Chapter 304. Folding Blanket

"Why do you keep crying?" Zein chuckled, wiping the esper’s cheek with the sleeve of his pajama.

But Bassena merely shook his head, and pressed his face on the guide’s chest, holding the man close to him, as close as he could, listening to the steady heartbeat of his most beloved.

Zein kissed the crown of the platinum hair, before pulling the esper back so he could look at the messy face. Not quite handsome anymore with all those tears and scrunching, but still adorable nonetheless. He stroked the stubbornly wet cheek and whispered. "Won’t you give me a reply?"

Bassena flinched, eyes widened as if he were someone who just committed a great sin. "I love you," it was just three words, but Bassena sounded out of breath, as if each word weighed a thousand—no, a million more. "I love you," Bassena repeated, pulling Zein into his embrace, tightly, like his promise to never let go. "Gods, I love you so much."

How long had Bassena longed to hear that word from Zein’s lips? How many nights had he dreamt it; through the sea of darkness and the seaside cliff. He had prepared himself to never hear it all in this life even, looking at how reserved Zein was about such a thing.

How could he receive such a blissful, wonderful, magnificent reward when he was nothing short of useless? Did he even deserve such sweet words, when he wasn’t even there with Zein when the man needed him the most?

And yet...and yet...

Bassena couldn’t let go. Even if he did not deserve it now, all he had to do was to make sure he turned into someone who deserved it. Deserving the love of such a strong, magnificent man.

"What are you thinking about now?" Zein lifted the esper’s face, his eyes were the splendor of brilliant jewels. "You shouldn’t be thinking about anything but kissing me right now."

Ah, every word just sounded like a hymn, like a sacred decree, and he was nothing but a devotee.

It was engraved in him, the way to those red lips. Soft, sweet, sublime. How many times had they kissed at that point? And yet it felt new, as sweet as a first kiss, filled with fluttering hearts and trembling touches.

Just a wisp of touch from their lips was enough to fill their heart, but it wasn’t enough to satiate their craving for each other. Nothing would ever feel enough. With a tight grasp on the platinum hair, their kiss deepened, and their skin pressed closer, as if they wouldn’t even let air come between them.

It was quite blurry for Zein; he had no idea how they even managed to move to the bed. But it was a fascinating sensation, when everything was full of fervor, but they moved so gently. Or rather, it was Bassena that moved so gently. Instead of their usual rush, rough play, the esper put Zein on the bed as if he were laying down a precious porcelain art.

"Can I—"

"Yeah," Zein replied the moment the esper opened his mouth. He could see it inside the amber eyes; the concern, the uneasiness...and he understood where it came from.

But that was exactly why Zein wanted Bassena to go on. Because he needed to know—no, they needed to know, that it was alright. That what happened yesterday would only strengthen their bond instead.

Stroking the hesitated esper’s cheek, Zein told the younger man in a soft, yet firm voice. "Go on."

"I’ll do it gently," was Bassena’s response.

"It’s fine, just—"

"I’ll do it gently."

The tone was stern, non-negotiable. And it came with a non-negotiable caress that got Zein shuddering. Thankfully, it wasn’t disgust. But he did feel it was different, the touch.

It was possessive, but also protective. It was firm, but also gentle. It was filled with desire, but devoid of lust.

How strange...Zein didn’t know they could make love without lust. Even while the pleasure tickled his skin, and shivers ran through his spine. Even when his heart was filled with want, he found that what he wanted was Bassena himself. Not the sculpted body, nor the handsome face. He wanted those blazing eyes and innocent heart, he wanted that tender soul and fierce spirit. He wanted the affection, the attention, the thought of his esper. All for him.

All for him.

"Zein...can I..." Bassena grabbed the headboard to get hold of himself, being careful not to crush the guide with his weight, because Zein had been so...pliant. "Can I kiss you?"

Zein reached up and stroked the cheeks that were now wet from sweat instead of tears. "No," surprisingly, it was rejection. With a bated breath, he told the shocked esper. "I want to see your face."

"Ugh—"

Biting his lips, Bassena clenched his jaw and continued to move; still gently, but getting faster, planting his hands on either side of the guide’s head. Their eyes locked, sucked into each other’s gaze, observing every minute detail of their changing expression as the pleasure peaked.

"Bas..." Zein had never stopped looking at the esper’s face, never taking his hands away. Even when he had to bite his lips and squint his eyes from the pressure and the pleasure, he kept the esper in his eyes. His esper. "Sena..."

Bassena gasped, lips parted in stun from the unexpected name flowing between those ruby lips. "What..." his lips trembled, and the amber eyes shook, just like his soul. "Did you...did you just..."

"Sena..." Zein stroked the flesh beneath the fluttering lashes, and finally pulled the esper closer, for a kiss that Bassena was so desired.

A deep, heartfelt kiss that drove them over the edge and sealed their bond. A kiss that did not end even after the lancing pleasure and continuous convulsion diminished. And even after everything was calming again, they did not part, just staring into each other’s eyes, feeling each other’s skin, limbs tangling and breath mingling.

"Are you going to call me that from now on?" Bassena asked while nibbling on the guide’s shoulder, tracing each beauty mark there as usual. He sounded giddy, so it seemed like he liked being called that.

"No," Zein chuckled, swiping the messy platinum hair back so he could look at the esper’s face better. "I’ll save it for certain occasions."

"...what occasion?" Bassena raised his upper body slightly, amber eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Zein curled his lips and stroked the pursing lips. "When I want to seduce you,"

Bassena’s gulping sound was as loud as his increasing heartbeat, and Zein pulled the esper closer again, running his fingers along the solid chest. "Should we go again?"

Leaning closer to the inviting lips, Bassena almost agreed to it before he abruptly pulled away. "No," now it was Zein who was surprised by the rejection. "You didn’t have dinner last night, so you have to eat now."

Zein raised his brow as Bassena untangled himself from him and climbed down the bed, as if scared he would get seduced again if he stayed even a second longer.

Was it the first time, Zein wondered, that Bassena actually rejected his invitation? Smiling in fascination, Zein laid his head back on the pillow and called out for the esper. "Sena,"

Bassena stopped his hand, which was in the middle of picking up his pants. He could feel the shivers in his spine, and the limpness in his tongue. What did Zein say before, about using that name?

He looked back, at the work of art lying on the bed; head tilting, skin glistening from sweat, flushed from the earlier exercise. The long, black lashes sway gently, as if calling for him, as the pair of deep sapphires blinked slowly.

And then the soft, radiant smile. Along with the last weapon. "I love you."

Ah, fuck it.

"Just once," Bassena bit his lips as he dove back to the bed, grasping the chuckling guide that welcomed him with arms wrapping around his neck. "Just once and you eat."

* * *

"You’re being unfair,"

"I can’t help it," Zein laughed softly and kissed the esper briefly in compensation. "You’re just too cute."

Bassena pursed his lips, getting mixed feelings of delight from hearing Zein call him by a name that had only been used by two people in his life, but also found out it was now used as a weapon. He was too happy to feel annoyed, and that was why it was unfair.

"I had wanted to see your reaction, honestly, wondering if you’d like it if I called you that," Zein confessed, smiling at the slightly sulking esper. "Do you want me to call you that? I don’t know if I can get used to it after calling you ’Bas’ all this time."

"Mm," Bassena leaned his head on the guide’s shoulder, pondering. Of course, he wanted to; it was a special name, a name that his mother used. It represented him whom no one else knew besides Ayya, so it would be fitting for Zein, who knew the him that no one else did, to call him that too. But yeah...he understood that it wouldn’t be easy to change a habit. "Just...when we’re alone?"

He made a compromise, and Zein laughed while patting his neatly combed hair carefully. "Alright," the guide agreed. "When we’re alone."

Hearing the lighthearted voice, and watching the smile bloom easily on Zein’s face, Bassena was filled with immense gratitude.

He was glad that Zein could turn the awful experience into something good. He was glad that that calmness wasn’t a facade, but a journey for acceptance, turning the scary event into a source of courage.

Truly, receiving this man’s love must have been the reward for all the good karma he accumulated in all his life, whether it was the past, present, or future life. He couldn’t explain it otherwise.

Still...

"Are you sure about this? Radia said we can rest some more," Bassena said, frowning slightly at the guide’s uniform that Zein wore—instead of pajamas.

"No," this time, Zein also put on a solemn expression. "I’m fine now, but that doesn’t mean I forgive them," he looked at Bassena, whose eyes had hardened. "And neither do you."

Well, Bassena wouldn’t refute that. Even now, he knew Radia was looking into this case, and the only thing holding Bassena back from getting involved was Zein’s condition.

"I rest enough, and I don’t think I can rest more until we get to the bottom of it," Zein said with a tone that Bassena hadn’t heard all day yesterday.

But it sounded like the usual Zein, and it brought a smile to Bassena. With a nod, he finally let go of Zein so they could walk to the garage. But when he was opening the passenger door, he looked at the guide with a raised brow.

"Where’s...your mask?"

Zein smiled and patted the surprised esper’s cheek, replying simply. "I don’t need it anymore."