There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 226 - 220. Night of Contending Egos

Chapter 226: Chapter 220. Night of Contending Egos

"What kind of gate was it?" Zein asked when they arrived at the suite.

"Orange."

"Did you arrive on time? Was the damage severe?"

"Cars and walls."

"Anything manage to go outside?"

"The channel to the hotel. Some."

Zein crouched in front of the mini bar, looking at mineral water, but reaching for a beer. Today was even more exhausting than yesterday, and he couldn’t afford to face a sulking Bassena without some help.

When he stood up again, cracking the can open, he found the esper was staring blankly at the night view. Zein had thought Bassena was sulking from how he chose to go meet Han Joon than accompanying him, but looking at the rather listless face, Zein felt like he had to rethink his judgment.

Tapping the bar counter, Zein called to the esper. "Baby, come here and talk to me."

Finally, Zein saw a slight reaction. Bassena flinched slightly at the pet name and, like an obedient puppy, walked to the bar and plopped down on one of the stools as Zein observed him with intrigued eyes.

What was this? Zein had used to Bassena pouting from being jealous. He was fine with it, as long as Bassena did not throw a tantrum and be snarky. Since that night after they met Scarlet Moon, Bassena had grown calmer, and his jealousy came from the inevitable obsessiveness of an esper toward his guide, not a lover.

But this one felt different.

Bassena did not pout, did not sulk. He wasn’t even putting on a passive-aggressive remark about how popular Zein was. Instead, he just sat there brooding with blank eyes, fingers fiddling with the edge of his sleeve, uncharacteristically nervous.

Drinking the beer first to relax his tensed nerve, Zein proceeded with tilting his head to stare at the amber eyes and asked.

"What is it?" Zein couldn’t even feel annoyed, just confused. It was rather fascinating if he had to be honest.

Hesitatingly, Bassena muttered. "I know that you don’t like me acting jealous,"

"Obviously, since it’s ridiculous," Zein told the esper matter-of-factly. "You are Bassena Vaski, for fuck’s sake. You said no one in this world deserves me more than you, so why are you constantly feeling insecure?"

"I know, I’ve been trying to fix it," Bassena chewed the inside of his cheek.

"I can tell," Zein commented fairly. At least, the esper no longer locked himself somewhere and vented his anger through violence.

Bassena pressed his lips hard then, as if uttering what he wanted to convey next was a hard thing to do. "...but, if it’s Joon..."

Zein paused the half-raised can and put the beer down on the counter again, raising his brow in surprise. "What about him?"

"I mean...I can confidently go up against anyone who wants you, and beat them--not physically, but, you know, in getting your heart," Bassena sighed, swiping his head with his hand and lowering his gaze as he muttered heavily. "But if it’s Joon..."

This was...unexpected.

Zein blinked in astonishment as he asked. "Are you going to give up if it’s him?"

"No!" Bassena answered swiftly, looking at Zein with agitated eyes. But he immediately retracted with another heavy sigh and followed in a calmer--albeit devastated--tone. "I mean no, I won’t give up even then. Just...it’s going to be hard..."

"Why? You don’t feel good going against him?" Zein shoved his beer away. This turned out to be something that he couldn’t face without getting completely sober.

"...yeah," Bassena answered slowly. He gripped his hands together, as if he was afraid they would fly to make damage. "He’s...I don’t know how to describe it, but...if he asked me to get blamed for his crime, I’d do it gladly."

Zein felt like Bassena shouldn’t say that lightly, because, for all he knew, Han Joon was the type to easily do that to anyone who wasn’t Radia.

And, for all he knew, the man might have been committing institutional crimes for the past ten years.

But he understood. "You owed him."

Bassena lowered his head even more, pressing his knuckles against his forehead. "Yeah," and then he added, carefully. "You...literally saved my life, and my soul, but before then--"

"He’s the one who saved you first," Zein nodded, and Bassena lifted his face, looking quite relieved that Zein at least understood that. "Him and Radia."

"Yeah," Bassena opened his mouth, but then closed it again, and Zein could see the struggle in those amber eyes. The esper must have a war of thoughts in his head right now, and he waited patiently.

After almost a minute, after biting his lips, Bassena finally opened his mouth again. "So...if you fall for him, and...and he wants you...that will be..." he swallowed hard, grabbing his own hand tighter to suppress any violent instinct--because even as he said it, his heart was roaring in rage. "That might be harder than toppling the Golden Viper."

Zein had to bite his lips to hold back his laughter. Because he knew this was serious for Bassena, and he didn’t want to look as if he didn’t care for the esper’s feelings.

But...oh, God--if only Bassena knew how ridiculous it all sounded. He was tempted to just tell Bassena everything about Radia and Joon, but it wasn’t his secret to tell, so he couldn’t do that without the consent of those two.

"Haa...you adorable fool," Zein flicked the space between the downcast eyes. "There’s no way I would fall for someone like him."

Bassena blinked and looked up, the guide’s words were enough for him to ignore the stings from the hard flick. With widened eyes, he watched the guide walk around the counter and stopped in front of him. Fingers caressed his lips, jaw, the shell of his ears...

Tilting his head, Zein smiled and whispered against the esper’s lips. "There’s nothing cute about that man," a light peck, and then; "Unlike you."

Bassena took a deep breath, and this time, he was the one who captured those smirking lips.

"Stop getting worried over other people," Zein sighed and flicked the esper’s again, who was now able to wince instead of blanking. "You have no competition but with yourself--would you stop worrying if I say that?"

"...maybe?"

"You’re the only one, Bassena Vaski," Zein tilted up the esper’s face, lips curling into a smirk. "Or do you think I’m that unfaithful?"

Quickly, the esper shook his head, and Zein gave another flicked. Softer this time. And it followed by his lips.

* * *

If only the same peaceful outcome could be present in the neighboring suite.

"Just admit it," Han Joon leaned against the wall, tilting his head as he stared at Radia with a smile on his face.

Looking at the rare smile that he threw so casually to a guide he just met a few times before, Radia spat dryly. "I have nothing to admit."

"I wonder," the man infuriatingly continued. "You looked...jealous."

Radia knew the man was just provoking him, and had tried his best not to get baited. But that amused gaze, and the memory of seeing the man presenting that smile to another person...

The smile that should only be his.

"And you looked conceited."

Radia spatted in annoyance. Alright. So perhaps he was jealous. Envious. That he couldn’t receive that smile in public, that he couldn’t act like Bassena and Zein so freely.

But he’d rather die than admit it openly--

His thought was intruded on by the harsh hand that grabbed his waist and jaw and cold lips that pressed into his.

Radia had no idea which one messed up with his head more; Han Joon, or the way his body reacted automatically to the man’s touch.

Even while his head was filled with anger and jealousy that he would never admit--or perhaps because of that--he accept the harsh kiss, eagerly countering with the same ferocity. The string of saliva that connected their lips was mixed with blood as they parted.

"I told you to be honest," Han Joon still grasped the man’s waist, staring into the slightly glazed crimson eyes as he licked his bitten lower lip.

The eyes that gained clarity as Radia grabbed his lapel tight with both hands, glaring. "And I told you to come back!"

"So now you acknowledge that you want me back?" Han Joon tilted his head, lips curled into a little smirk.

Radia clenched his teeth and furrowed his brows even more, yanking the black military uniform he hated so much. "Fuck you! Stop this game already, Joon! We’re no longer teenagers!"

The black eyes blinked, and for a few seconds, they seemed to be filled with nostalgia. The man even smiled fondly at the memory. "A game, huh..."

"Just tell me what you want!"

Radia had never yelled as much as he did tonight. Ah, no--he did before; that time he heard about the other man’s decision to enter the military, despite everything. He had yelled and screamed a lot that day too, with a hand splattered in blood.

And heart covered in thorn.

But he was older now, they were older. They shouldn’t be doing this. Radia had no idea why they continued to do this. There were not many things he didn’t know in this world, but this...he would never understand this.

He was tired. He just wanted that future they draw together when they were teenagers. Where did all of that go?

Pressing his head on the sturdy chest, Radia whispered, vulnerably. "Please, just tell me."

The answer came cruelly. "Not yet."

"It’s been ten years!" Radia snapped and gritted his teeth as he shook the man in front of him.

"I know," Han Joon said, without a smile this time. And Radia wanted to believe that what he saw in those black eyes was regret. "It took longer than I thought."

"What IS?!" Radia yelled in frustration. "For God’s sake, Han Joon! What is it?!"

What was it that threw them apart like this? What was it that made the man who swore to be by his side go off to join the place he despised the most? What was it...what was...

The hands he used to grab Joon’s clothes were trembling, and cold fingers stroked them, as if trying to release the tension. Slowly, Radia let go of the black fabric. As he let out a gasp, he just realized that he had been holding his breath in agitation.

But like a never-ending curse, it came back.

"Be patient,"

"Patie--" Radia snapped his head up, staring incredulously at the older man and let out a bitter scoff. "Hah!"

Patient? PATIENT? The audacity of this man to tell him to be patient?

Radia pulled his hands away and stepped back, laughing mockingly to himself. "I had been patient for the last ten years, you fucking prick!"

He had been waiting and waiting. He had been welcoming the man to his bed again. He had been letting Han Joon meet him freely.

All he had wanted was an explanation, even if the man truly couldn’t get out of that damnable place. But all he ever received was this; ’I couldn’t tell you’, ’be patient’, ’wait for me’...

Viciously, the man caressed his trembling cheek with a gentleness of the pasttime, and Radia closed his eyes. He finally looked at the man’s eyes as Joon had wanted, but did it change anything?

Nothing. Nothing had changed. It was beyond frustrating. He felt the lips that had grown colder than before, touching the flesh beneath his eyes.

And nothing.

The man vanished as usual, leaving him feeling empty and numb. Yet again.

"Gods--" Radia slumped into a chair and buried his face in frustration. "I’m truly...about to hit my limit."

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