There's No Love In the Deathzone (BL)
Chapter 225 - 219. Night of Contending Feelings

Chapter 225: Chapter 219. Night of Contending Feelings

A thorny mudfield. Thick and heavy and lonely. It was like walking through a pool of blood. The thorns were stabbing into the muddy ground and made it bleed.

It was eerie and disturbing, and if Zein didn’t know Joon, he would be scared. It was the soul of someone who repeatedly put himself in a hard situation, voluntarily. And in this lonely, painful field, there was only one solace.

A crimson flower, in the middle of a thorny field. Its color was the only bright thing in the monochrome field.

A single devotion. That was what Zein felt from Han Joon’s mana core. No wonder Radia talked about obsession before. It was like the man dedicated his entire life just for that flower to bloom, even while bleeding all over by his loneself.

It was...tragic.

Even while Zein was sending his water, and trying to make it as soothing as possible, nothing could penetrate the thorny barrier that surrounded the crimson flower. At the very least, however, he could heal that bleeding wound.

Just a little bit.

And when he was done, Zein had never felt so stuffy. He rarely got exhausted while guiding a single esper unless it was extremely disgusting. With Bassena, it was just a matter of stamina, and with other difficult espers, it was just a battle of wit. Han Joon’s mana core was not disgusting or vast, but...it was extremely cold and suffocating. And it sapped his mental energy a lot even though he merely cleaned one level of corrosion.

"How’s your probing?" the soldier gave him a relaxed smile when Zein opened his eyes again.

Instead of answering immediately, Zein stared at the soldier hard with furrowed brows. "Have you gone to the hospital?" he asked.

Han Joon arched his brow slightly, before responding with a deep smile. "All military personnel need to do physical check-ups twice a year, don’t you know that?"

"I don’t," Zein replied truthfully. "But I know those check-ups do not include a specialist."

The soldier chuckled, a quiet sound that was almost non-existent. "It’s...a work in progress," the man said. "But I see now why they are addicted to your guiding," he moved his shoulder, smiling in satisfaction after taking a deep breath. "If it’s not for this...emergency, I might never be able to taste it."

"You can if you join Trinity," Zein shrugged, leaning back and crossing his arms as Han Joon put on his glove again.

"That’s not possible," the soldier replied flatly. "Even if I retired, ex-soldiers are not allowed to join private guilds."

Zein had already heard about this, and he knew it was probably what made Radia so mad in the past. But he thought he might hear something like regret from the soldier if he asked.

Well, it was to no avail. But what did he expect from someone who voluntarily walked on a thorny path?

"Hah--no wonder Radia never forgives you," Zein scoffed, to which Han Joon responded with a soft chuckle. But the tone that he used was undeniably serious.

"I was prepared for that."

Zein looked at the soldier, who seemed to be getting ready to go back to the vault room. He glanced over at Jock then, who fortunately knew him enough to know that he needed private time. Not just from the guard, but everyone else.

Jock nodded and turned around to walk toward the edge of the hallway, where people would need to pass to reach the vault room. Han Joon raised his brow slightly and smiled deeply, staring back at the blue eyes which observed him keenly.

"I really don’t understand what happened to the two of you," Zein leaned back and sighed. As someone who had seen both of their mana cores, he was probably the only one who knew exactly what these two infuriating guys feel about each other. "You’re clearly only thinking about each other, but you both act like the world will end if you get back together."

"That...might be true," the reply came with darkened eyes and a hard smile that got Zein to widen his eyes, looking at the soldier that leaned forward and lowered his head.

"Huh? That the world will end?"

"Well, not this world," Han Joon lifted his gaze slightly. "But ours," he said, "mine and his."

Zein stared at the soldier’s smile--eerie and lonely, just like his mana core. The man always said cryptic things, but at least he was saying something. To him. Which was bizarre, because he should have said things to Radia, not him.

Was it just an impulsive act of leaking out the things he couldn’t share with anyone? Perhaps because Zein was already caught them in an act, Han Joon finally had someone to share things about his hidden feelings.

Not that it made Zein understand things more.

"...yeah, I don’t get it," the guide shook his head in the end, and Han Joon chuckled.

"You don’t have to."

"I’m curious, though..."

The soldier scoffed, turning his face sideways to stare into the blue eyes. "It doesn’t sound like you," being curious about others’ business.

"I’m changing," Zein simply shrugged.

"I can see that," the soldier smiled wider, before relaxing his shoulder and leaning back on the bench. The black eyes looked forward, at the hedge of indoor plants across from them. "Let’s see..."

Han Joon crossed his arms, fingers tapping slowly in contemplation. "You have a flower, a very beautiful one. So exquisite and poisonous that some people want to pluck it because they can’t have it,"

"What’s this about?"

"A gardening story," the soldier shrugged, smirking briefly before continuing. "Anyway, the only way you can prevent those people from plucking your flower is by preventing them to enter the garden. But by doing so, you have to keep standing guard in front of the garden, and you can no longer see the flower because of it."

Zein frowned as he recalled the lonely garden with a single flower inside the man’s core. His heart, his soul, was dedicated to that single flower. Zein had thought that Bassena was plenty obsessed with him, but this man beside him was made of obsession. It was like he only lived for that one flower.

To the point of not caring about his own well-being.

"What would you choose, Zein?" Han Joon faced the guide with a smile.

"Huh?"

"Will you choose to stay close to the flower, risking those people coming close and poisoning the very ground where the flower stood," the black eyes shifted toward the flowerless plant, "...or standing guard outside the garden so they can’t even hope to take a look at the flower?"

Zein pondered about it for a bit, imagining the situation. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he was the type that couldn’t stay apart too much from the one he cared about. After all, he was a worrywart.

"What’s the use of that if you can no longer see the flower?"

For him, he would rather stay with Bassena and fight the situation together. But then, he didn’t really know the exact situation with Joon and Radia. All he could infer from their few brief conversations was that the enemy might be the military--or someone from that side.

Han Joon chuckled and shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe someday I could eradicate those people completely, and I can spend my time with the flower in peace then."

"I see..." Zein nodded. So that was why Han Joon said he did it for their future. That, however, didn’t explain why they were still fighting. "But you...can’t even tell the flower about that?"

"Because the flower is reckless and poisonous," the soldier said. There was a slightly softer tone in his voice, and a fond smile on his lips. "What if it knows and decides to spread its poison, and then it’ll attract even more people who want to pluck it?"

"Then why are you here instead of guarding the flower now?"

Han Joon laughed and looked at Zein again. "I told you," he smirked, not at all looking worried at the fact that Radia was in the middle of the building, and could get dragged into the outbreak. "I guard the garden and invaded the hunter’s den, not shadowing the flower."

Ah...was that what he had been doing? Was that his reason for entering the military?

To ’invade the hunter’s den’?

"Haa..." Zein took a deep breath and released it in a long exhale. "Well, I don’t think I have the right to criticize another’s relationship."

Looking at the guide that seemed to be more exhausted having this conversation than raiding a dungeon, Han Joon sneered. "What, are you perfectly happy now?"

Zein arched his brow and replied smugly. "Yeah, why? Jealous?"

"I do,"

Pfft--looking at the soldier’s reply honestly, Zein couldn’t help but laugh. So why were you putting yourself in that difficult situation, then? He shook his head and laughed again, until he heard someone’s familiar voice.

"Hey--it seems to be in control here,"

Zein turned his head, still with a wide smile on his face. It was hidden by his mask, but it could be seen by the way those blue eyes narrowed softly, and shimmered in brilliance.

"That was fast," Zein smiled to welcome his esper. He didn’t think he had a long conversation, but the fact that Bassena was here already told him that the outbreak situation was under control.

"There’s a lot of espers here, I can’t take all the glory," the esper shrugged, tilting his body to observe the guide better, looking for any sign of injury. He lowered himself in front of Zein and stroked the man’s thigh. "You’re fine, right?"

"Yeah, Joon took care of everything," Zein brushed the slightly messier hair of the esper, before looking up at Radia who followed Bassena there. "It’s fine to guide him since it’s an emergency, right?"

The crimson eyes, however, did not look at him. They didn’t look like they stared at the soldier also. The man was just standing there, looking kind of blank and so unlike him.

Zein tilted his head slightly and called out again. "Guildmaster?"

"...yeah, sure."

Radia gave a brief answer before turning back and walking away, prompting Zein to raise his brow in surprise and a deep smile to carve on Han Joon’s face.

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