The Young Miss Refuse To Love
Chapter 34: But you, have it all.

Chapter 34: But you, have it all.

The original Qi Jianyi, as if penning a letter, poured every detail onto the page—each lie she was fed, each painful revelation as those lies unraveled before her. Her resentment toward her parents was justified, a festering wound that Qi Jianyi, the soul now inhabiting the same body, could not ignore or excuse.

The trauma the original Qi Jianyi endured was undeniable and cruel.

For a six-year-old girl to discover the truth of her abandonment on her own, without the gentle confession of a nanny or the hesitant admission of a butler, was an unbearable cruelty.

She was forced to confront the reality that she had been deceived, that she was nothing more than an unwanted child left behind.

"How could they do this to you?" Qi Jianyi whispered, her voice trembling with anguish as tears welled up in her eyes. She sobbed silently, her heart breaking for the six-year-old girl who had been forced to uncover such a cruel truth on her own.

It hurt—deeply and inexplicably—as if the words on the page were cutting into her very soul. The more she read, the more the pain twisted inside her, growing into a storm of resentment, anger, and sorrow that she could not ignore.

No child should ever have to bear such a burden, to be lied to and discarded as if they were nothing.

Qi Jianyi’s hands trembled as she gently caressed the smudged writing, as if trying to soothe the hurt that still lingered in the words.

Every act of kindness her parents had shown since she arrived in this world now felt like a weight on her conscience. This love, this affection—it wasn’t meant for her. It should have been the original Qi Jianyi who received it, not her.

With a heavy heart, Qi Jianyi rubbed her face slowly, trying to calm the deep sadness that threatened to consume her. She took a deep breath and turned the page, knowing there was still so much more to learn about the original Qi Jianyi’s feelings.

"When I was ten, my nanny passed away, leaving me utterly alone in this world. She was more than just a caregiver to me—she was the mother I had longed for, the one I never truly had. The day she died, the weather matched the heaviness in my heart. It was cold, dark, and chilling.

I remember it all too vividly. I begged her to stay, pleaded with her not to leave me, but she said she had to go home. Her two-year-old grandson had been admitted to the hospital with a high fever.

It was at that moment that I realised the painful truth, my nanny had her own family, a life that didn’t include me. I was just her employer’s child, and she was my caretaker. But I loved her.

The news of her death came in the form of a horrific car accident. I saw it on the news, and the image of the wreckage seared itself into my memory. The thunder rumbled loudly that night, echoing in my ears as if the sky itself was trying to wake me up to the cruel reality that I was now alone in this cold, empty house.

I hated her grandson then. If it weren’t for him, she might have stayed with me a little longer, and she wouldn’t have died.

But what right did I have to be angry? Who was I to hold a grudge against her family?

Soon after the funeral, my parents returned home with the twins. They hugged me and told me it was okay to cry. But how could I? By then, I had already drained every tear I had, crying myself to sleep the night I learned of her death.

They weren’t there for me and it was Uncle Butler who comforted me in the dark, who coaxed me into sleep when all I wanted to do was cry until there was nothing left.

And they didn’t even attend her funeral. The woman who had raised me, who had been my closest companion, was gone, and they didn’t even pay their respects. She meant the world to me, yet to them, she was just an employee, someone unworthy of their time or acknowledgment.

Tell me Qi Jianyi, am I wrong to hate them?"

Qi Jianyi closed her eyes tightly. She was really speechless with the original Qi Jianyi’s experience of life. It was much more complex than her normal life.

It was too overwhelming for her to continue reading it. But Qi Jianyi had no choice but to continue. She has to, she must and she needs to know.

"After nanny passed away, mom and dad suddenly changed. They started paying attention to me, forcing me to play with the twins. I met them once before mom and dad brought them home and I hated them instantly.

But nanny always told me that I should love my brothers because they’re my blood. So, I never bullied them. Instead, I treated them as if they didn’t exist—just like how my parents had treated me. Maybe that was the only lesson I truly learned from them.

I went to school, ate, and slept just like I did before my nanny died. On the surface, nothing had changed, but in reality, everything was different.

I had no friends. My only friend was nanny, and now that she’s gone, I have no one to talk to.

I despised the children at school. We were young, so very young, but I knew they only talked to me because their parents made them. The reason was obvious—they wanted to be close to my family, hoping to gain some advantage from my parents.

I grew up alone until I met the shameless Ling Xi. She’s the only one who stuck around, even though I constantly tried to push her away. She’s been my only friend since nanny left."

Qi Jianyi couldn’t help but laugh at the last paragraph. She wholeheartedly agreed with the original Qi Jianyi—Ling Xi was indeed shameless, always pestering her wherever she went.

It got to the point where Qi Jianyi could only resign herself to her fate. She had always wondered how the original Qi Jianyi had become friends with someone as cheerful and persistent as Ling Xi. But now it made sense. The original Qi Jianyi had likely found herself just as helpless against Ling Xi’s relentless friendship.

"There was a boy who caught my attention when we were sixteen. He was my classmate—a poor, genius classmate who had earned a scholarship. I didn’t fully understand what love was supposed to feel like, but I know that I liked him back then.

I wanted to be close to him, but the gap between our families was too wide for us to even have a simple conversation. Wherever I went, there were always second-generation rich kids trailing after me and Ling Xi, shamelessly hovering around us. Because of them, I never had the chance to talk to him.

He had a bright smile, a clean, honest look, and a kind attitude that made him stand out. Sometimes, we made eye contact, and on those rare occasions, he would smile at me. Every time, my heart would pound so loudly that it felt like it was about to leap out of my chest.

Oh, I loved him.

But we were never meant to be together. He already had someone he cared for. I saw him kissing another girl—a smart girl from the next class, whose family was just as poor as his.

I was the young miss of the Qi family, destined to inherit millions, while he was simply the beloved son of loving parents.

And so, I gave up. I gave up without even trying because, in the end, I didn’t have the courage."

Qi Jianyi was taken aback by the original Qi Jianyi’s sudden mention of love for a boy. What surprised her even more was how eerily similar their experiences were.

She, too, had fallen in love at the age of sixteen, but with a second-rich generation boy who had a charming smile. To Qi Jianyi, he was the sky she had once longed to reach.

Every one of his smiles, his laughter, his every expression had made her heart soar with happiness. Qi Jianyi had truly believed that their love would endure, that they would grow up and stay together. But those dreams were nothing more than fleeting illusions.

Her family’s situation made her greedy for money, driving her to work hard, to climb the ladder of success at a very young age. In doing so, she unintentionally abandoned the boy who had loved her when she was still just a girl with nothing to her name.

That was Qi Jianyi’s deepest regret in life. She had abandoned her lover because she wanted more—more than just love. She craved wealth, the kind of wealth her boyfriend had. This ambition created a rift between them, and soon, the deep affection they had once shared vanished as if it had never existed.

He couldn’t understand her obsession with money, and she refused to explain it to him. Not long after, they went their separate ways. Qi Jianyi achieved the wealth she had sought, but in the process, she lost everything that truly mattered to her.

She couldn’t help but agree with the original Qi Jianyi’s words. Two people with different family situations have their own obstacles. Just like her and her past lover and He Zeqing and Xia Ning in the novel.

After a while, Qi Jianyi collected herself together and pushed the unpleasant memories away. She continues to read the last sentence in the page before turning to the next.

Her eyes glanced lightly but her movement halted the moment she read those one line. A chill once again crept to her, scaring her. The long and thick eyelashes couldn’t help but tremble at the sudden shock.

"But you, Qi Jianyi, have it all."