The world has turned into Hell's Game, why should I stay human?
Chapter 470 - 381: Down-to-earth Beauty Shi Tiantian_2

Chapter 470: Chapter 381: Down-to-earth Beauty Shi Tiantian_2

"Seems like you’re not that capable after all, I ate a whole one my first time."

Shisan Yao said with pride.

"Hee~hee~"

The stone man swayed his body as if agreeing with him.

"Then you, slurp, must have had a bunch of, slurp, sons."

Liu Zheng said with difficulty.

"How did you know that?"

Shisan Yao asked in surprise.

"Sour and spicy, slurp, daughters."

"Oh, that’s true. Huh? No, wait, that’s said about women, not men."

Shisan Yao realized and glared as he spoke.

"Hee~hee~hee~hee~"

The sound of the skull echoed in the Paper House.

"Speaking of which, chief, don’t you have no wife? Where did all those sons come from?"

Liu Zheng asked, swallowing a big gulp of saliva curiously.

"Who told you I don’t have a wife?"

Shisan Yao asked in amazement.

"Then aren’t you with my uncle?"

"A man can have a girlfriend even if he’s married. Besides, who said you can’t have kids without a wife? All my girlfriends are willing to have kids for me."

"A little runt like you wouldn’t understand the charm of a mature man like us."

He said with a sense of pride.

"Heh."

Liu Zheng rolled his eyes and then continued with his task of filling the cracks.

"Hee~hee~hee~"

The stone man looked at Shisan Yao.

"Does Mr. Shi find him amusing? I think so too, that’s why I let him serve you as soon as he arrived."

Shisan Yao laughed and said.

"Hee~hee~hee~"

"Yes, he’s just started today, codenamed Ren He. You are his first customer."

Shisan Yao said.

"Hee~hee~hee~"

Upon hearing this, the stone man suddenly squatted down.

"Eh, Mr. Shi, what’s happening to you?"

Liu Zheng almost flipped off the ladder.

"Look at the top of Mr. Shi’s head."

Shisan Yao said.

He looked at the top of the stone man’s head as instructed, and there was a basin-like depression with many small flowers of different colors growing inside.

"Pick a flower."

Shisan Yao said.

"Chief, what does this mean?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"Mr. Shi got a good laugh from you and knew it was your first time receiving a client, so he’s giving you a red packet."

Shisan Yao explained.

"Uh..."

For some reason, he felt as though he was selling his body.

"Hurry up, don’t keep Mr. Shi waiting."

"Then chief, how should I take it?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"Just pick any one you like, no one knows the pattern except Mr. Shi, and it’s not going to tell you either."

Shisan Yao said.

"Hee~hee~hee~"

The stone man expressed his agreement.

Letting a newcomer choose their own tip is also one of the reserved programs.

"Is there a bad one among them?"

He asked cautiously.

"Of course, there is, otherwise, what’s the fun in that. Don’t worry, it won’t kill you."

Shisan Yao said with a mischievous grin.

"I hope so."

Liu Zheng gave him a disdainful look and said.

As he stretched his hand toward the flower pot, he also kept the delivery slip in his hand.

If things didn’t go right later, he would beat these two up first and then run away.

"Which flower should I pick?"

Liu Zheng pondered.

His favorite colors were black, white, and bright red, but there were none of these colors among the flowers in the pot, only similar ones.

If that was the case, then he would pick one he liked the least.

Liu Zheng stretched his hand into the flower pot and plucked a pink flower.

The flower had seven petals in the shape of hearts, and the center was packed with pistils, secreting a green sticky substance.

By all accounts, the flower ticked all the boxes of his aesthetic no-go zones.

"Just swallow it directly, no need to chew."

Shisan Yao said.

As his words fell, the item description instantly popped up.

"Name: Shi Tiantian’s Xiao Huahua"

"Type: Tool"

"Quality: Excellent"

"Effect: Eating it will grant a layer of stone skin, shielding the player from some damage when attacked. Lasts for the current instance, disappears after activation."

"Note: A little Huahua, for you, me, him. If anyone dares not to accept, send them back home."

"Is it portable out of the instance: Yes"

"Actually, I think it looks pretty good on."

After reading the item description, Liu Zheng commented.

Excellent-grade pure defensive tools aren’t of much use to him now.

But if they were for his next instance with reset status, they might be very useful.

So if possible, Liu Zheng would still like to save them up.

"Is this okay, Mr. Shi?"

Shisan Yao asked the stone man.

"Hee~hee~hee~"

The stone man nodded slightly.

"You’re in luck, Mr. Shi agrees to your request. Now thank Mr. Shi quickly."

Shisan Yao said to Liu Zheng.

"Thank you, Mr. Shi."

He said sincerely.

"Too soft, there’s no spirit at all. With that attitude, you think you can become a star masseur in the Massage Department?"

Shisan Yao complained discontentedly.

God-damned star masseur, as if with another $298 you’d take flight, right?

"Thank you, Mr. Shi!"

Though reluctantly, Liu Zheng raised his volume.

"Not enough, not enough, louder, even louder."

Shisan Yao barked.

"Thank you, Mr. Shi!!!"

He shouted with all his might, and his stimulated salivary glands squirted out one last droplet of saliva.

"Hee~hee~hee~hee~"

The stone man witnessing this scene shook violently, causing both Liu Zheng and the ladder to wobble along.

It was clear that it was laughing quite heartily.

"Kid, you’d have more a future as a Manzai comedian than a masseur."

Shisan Yao said, holding back laughter.

Manzai is a stand-up comedy form from Fusang, typically performed by a duo.

One person takes on the role of the straight man, delivering criticisms, while the other plays the fool, acting dumb; they rapidly exchange jokes with each other.

In terms of performance, it’s very similar to cross-talk.

But in terms of content, Manzai is more like a lightweight version of cross-talk.

Shorter in time, fewer tools, and fresher content.

"I’d still rather be a masseur."

Liu Zheng responded indifferently.

He had heard this so many times that his ears could almost grow calluses.

Niu Ma said he was better suited to be a host than a delivery boy.

The novelist said he was more fit to be an author than a delivery boy.

The nightingale said he would make a better board game host than a delivery boy.

...

And so on and so forth.

Whatever job he did, there was always another one that suited him better.

Liu Zheng couldn’t tell if this was a compliment or an insult anymore.

"Hope so."

For a moment, Shisan Yao’s gaze sharpened before misting over again.

After securing Xiao Huahua, Liu Zheng continued patching up the gaps.

This time without any distractions, he smoothly finished filling all the cracks.

There weren’t really that many in total, just some areas obstructed by rogue stone growths requiring manual intervention.

"It’s complete."

Liu Zheng exhaled and, almost instinctively, pressed down on the stone man’s surface.

The touch was slightly stiff at first, but with a little more pressure, it yielded a soft sensation, like freshly fried chunky french fries.

"Does that feel nice?"

Shisan Yao asked out of the blue.

"Comfortable. I apologize, Chief, Mr. Shi, I was just admiring my handiwork and couldn’t help myself."

He promptly apologized.

"It’s okay, most newcomers can’t resist touching it the first time, it’s understandable."

Shisan Yao said.

"So they resist after the second time?"

"No, they start to touch it with more confidence and boldness."

Shisan Yao shook her head.

"Well... okay then."

Liu Zheng commented with a peculiar expression.

This felt like the same vibe as a kid daring to touch the seemingly fierce dog in the neighbor’s yard.

"However, they actually don’t get many chances to touch because Mr. Shi prefers newbies."

Shisan Yao said.

"Got it."

He understood, the Cadillac owner he knew also preferred newcomers when visiting familiar places.

"Mr. Shi, have you had a good soak?"

Shisan Yao asked.

"Hee~hee~hee~"

The stone man made noises while sitting cross-legged.

The moment it sat on the floor, the whole house trembled slightly.

"Okay, now the real test for you begins."

Shisan Yao said.

"Chief, you might find this hard to believe, but I rarely give massages to non-humans.

And that’s non-humans who don’t even have flesh and blood."

"Many techniques for massaging human-shaped clients can be applied to Mr. Shi, you’ll have to make your own judgments. But remember what I told you."

Shisan Yao said.

What was that again?

Liu Zheng recalled for a moment, and then it quickly came to him.

"This client enjoys SM."

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