The Werewolf's Vampire Mate
Chapter 365: I miss you even when you are next to me

Chapter 365: I miss you even when you are next to me

Beau

Thinking about how I messed up just makes me more upset with myself. He is acting as he has forgiven me but I don’t like the fact that I even had something that needs forgiving. I hate myself so much right now and I don’t know how to make things right.

We are still outside on the field. I am still in his arms, scared that if I don’t hold unto him, he will end up remembering why he was upset with me.

"I am sorry,’’ I manage because there is nothing else that I can say apart from that.

He caresses the top of my hair and I close my eyes because this seems like a punishment. I feel like I am being punished even though I am in his arms. Maybe this is all the guilt I feel. I hurt his family. I reacted without even thinking.

"You know what you did wrong, that is all that matters." He breathes into my ear.

I open my eyes and pull away from him slowly. I am the Alpha of this pack and in his arms, I turn into a fucking cry baby. I don’t want anyone to see me right now but if that is the punishment and I get to be cool with him again, then I would cry in front of the whole pack.

"I don’t know what happened. I just saw him push you and I reacted. It made me insane. I couldn’t control my wolf." I confess. The anger that my wolf felt tonight was more than I have ever felt before. Even with Cassius and everything, just thinking that someone was hurting Lanis drove me off the wall.

His eyes bore into mine. "Did this happen because of the babies?’’ he touches his stomach on reflex and my eyes go to the bump. My babies... our babies. Is that the reason why I went into a protective mode? Is my wolf feeling something that I haven’t understood yet?

"I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I just didn’t want him to hurt you.’’

"Would you have killed him if I didn’t stop you?’’

I shake my head immediately "At that moment. I wasn’t thinking. I wanted to hurt him for hurting you. I didn’t want him dead."

That is the truth but I don’t know how far I would have gone. It was a moment that I couldn’t control and yeah, I might say that I had It under control but I didn’t. I was out of my element. My wolf had the wheels at that moment.

"You can’t hurt everyone because of me. you have to get this in check. Do you need Jules again? We can call him back."

I shake my head "I can channel my wolf on my own now. we are connected now. I can’t always depend on Jules coming to put me in check."

He nods "Promise you will try harder the next time something like this happens?’’

I raise my hands up immediately "I swear on my life,’’ I give him my word. He grabs my hand immediately and shakes his head "No swearing on your life. It is mine. I can’t have you bargaining for what is mine.’’

For the first time today, he smiles at me and it melts my heart. I know I will need to apologize to Belis. I messed up but there is no going back. All I have to do is focus on the now and how to make things right. I need to prevent this from ever happening.

"Is this what they call daddy instincts?’’ he jokes with a smile.

My heart thuds at his words, because this is really happening. I am going to be a father. He has my babies inside him. fuck, it still feels so surreal to me and I can’t get over it.

"How about boyfriend instincts, husband instincts. Right now, I see you and only you. I want to protect only you.’’

My words are sincere. the fact that he is carrying my babies inside him just adds to how much I worship him. he is everything to me and I will be eternally grateful for the life that he has given me. this doesn’t have anything to do with the babies. This has everything to do with him. the fact that he has done so much for me and he doesn’t even ask for much in return.

"I take you any way you are, you know that right?’’

I nod immediately because I feel the exact same way about him. I know I am not perfect and I don’t even want to act like I am. I want him to keep seeing me the way I am. I want to show him all my imperfections.

"Come on, let’s get you inside the house and all cleaned up,’’ he wipes a trickle of sweat from my forehead. He takes me for the mess I am.

I walk with him into the house and he holds me tightly as we walk back to my room. I take off my clothes in front of the door and he smiles "Someone is eager,’’ he mutters once I am completely naked. He pulls me into his arms again and I rest on the crook of his neck. It feels like home. Nowhere but near him will ever feel like this.

"I have to go and check on Belis. I need to have a conversation with him.’’

I pull away from him because I don’t want him to go to him alone. He raises his hands up "Done worry about me, he will not hurt me.’’

I frown because I don’t like this one bit. I know that Lanis can protect himself but I just don’t even want to have to think of him needing to protect himself. I always want to be the one to protect him.

"Have a shower and I will be back in a jiffy. You won’t even miss me,’’ he kisses my forehead softly, and even though I want to tell him that I will most definitely miss him. I let him walk away from me and out of the room.

As I go into the bathroom, my heart lingers for him in my arms again.