The Werewolf's Vampire Mate
Chapter 331: The voices in my head

Chapter 331: The voices in my head

Levine

There was an accident.

They didn’t make it.

Those words have been stuck in my head all week. All through the burial, through everything. It feels like I have stopped breathing. I still haven’t shed a tear. I don’t know how to cry when this is all partially my fault. I am the reason why they are dead. I had a chance to report Lissy and I did nothing like the coward I am.

I was too scared to betray her trust that I ended up killing my parents. Analise hasn’t said a word to me. I didn’t see regret when we found out. There was a hint of shock but she didn’t look like she regretted her decision. I haven’t gone to her because I don’t even know what to say. How do we even talk about this? We messed with time and there will be repercussions. Even though our parents’ death seems like the repercussion. I feel like there is a lot more that I can’t even imagine. I didn’t want to be involved in this. I wish I could go back in time and undo this all.

I am in my room. Seated in the same position I have been in all day. I slip into dazes and it takes a lot to get me out of them. Right now, I am secluded from the outside world. It has been a week and it feels like the longest week of my life. I remain quiet, in hopes that the person on the other side of the door will leave but the knocks just get even louder.

"Levi, it is me.’’ I recognize the voice. It is Badger. I haven’t had a one on one conversation with Badger. I don’t know if he remembers what I told him. I don’t know where I stand with him. I wish he would just forget everything that happened between us. I don’t want to be with him anymore. I don’t want to have to deal with him and the power that he desperately wants.

"Levi, I know you are inside,’’ he sighs loudly "I will keep knocking until you answer me,’’ he adds. I get up from the floor and walk over to the door. I don’t want to have to deal with this but it seems like I don’t have a choice. Almost like if I don’t answer, he will find a way to enter my room. I don’t know what Badge is capable of. He has never really been my friend. Just someone I really admired and now that I know him, I wish I never agreed to anything with him.

I open the door, revealing Badger and he carries a sad expression on his face. I see the concern in his eyes. I know he is worried about me and I wish I could forget everything and believe that he really cares about me. If we actually went back in time that will mean that he wouldn’t remember the conversation we had about Lissy. That will mean that he doesn’t know anything and I am once again alone. I don’t have anyone to lean on.

"Are you okay?’’ he walks into the room and wraps his hands around me. I am numb to feeling, being in his arms is not as warm as it used to be. I don’t feel anything for him but regret. He wouldn’t understand why I have all these feelings.

I stay in his arms—unwilling for a while and when he pulls away from me. I close my eyes because I don’t want to show weakness in front of him. Crying right now will be a bad idea. He can’t see me in pain. I will not give him that satisfaction. I take a step away from him "I want to be alone right now,’’ I tell him calmly. He cannot know that there is anything wrong. With everything that has happened, I can never stay here. My plan to leave the coven cannot come soon enough.

"Uh. I need to make sure you are okay first,’’ he manages in confusion. The last time we were together before my parents went for the ceremony, I was all over him. Now, all I want is for him to leave me the fuck alone.

I want to be alone.

Is that so hard to understand?

"I am fine,’’ at this point. I can’t help myself anymore as the tears start to fall. When people ask you how you are, and then you tell them that you are fine. You are not supposed to cry. Why the fuck am I crying?

"Come here,’’ he pulls me closer to him and I don’t even know what is happening as I lean forward and smash my lips to his. At this moment, I want everything to go back to normal. I want to forget that my sister is a psycho. I want to forget that she killed my mother and father. I want to forget that Badger is not the right person for me. Our lips press together and I feel everything. I feel his hand as it wraps around my waist. I feel the heat in between his legs. Giving in to him means I won’t be numb for the rest of the night.

I pull him until we are both naked on the bed. He grinds into me as our lips dance together in a rhythm that has my heart thudding uncontrollably.

What do you desire?

I stiffen against him but he doesn’t stop kissing me. The sound in my head continues. Suddenly, it feels like there is a darkness looming over me. There is something wrong "Stop,’’ I try to pull away from him. He pulls away from my face and furrows his brows in confusion "What’s wrong?’’ he asks me confused.

I nudge out of him until I am in a corner on the bed. I don’t want to explain anything to him. I shouldn’t be doing this with him.

I don’t feel anything for him anymore.

What do you desire? Speak and it will be yours.

That voice screams at me again. I know it is in my head. I know it has something to do with the spell. The one Lissy used but why is it here with me. Why am I being affected by all this? I just want to break free and no matter how much I try, she just keeps pulling me in.

"I need you to leave,’’ I beg him, silently praying that he listens to me.

"I want to be here for you. Please don’t push me away.’’ He begs me and I believe him. There is this honesty in his eyes. He actually does care about me. I just don’t know what else he cares about and I don’t want to find out.

I grab his shirt from the bed and pass it over to him "Please just leave,’’ I tell him coldly. He sighs and then runs his hands through his hair.

"I will come back tomorrow,’’ he suggests. I shake my head.

"Don’t come back,’’ I tell him. This is my way of breaking up with him. I hope he sees the sincerity inside me. I hope he doesn’t think that this is just because I am grieving. I don’t want to have any ties to the coven.

I watch him as he walks out of my room and I don’t have any regrets.

Analise is the next person I need to cut off by any means possible.

What do you desire?

Those words travel around my ears.

"I want to be free of my sister. I wish to be free from her." I say those words out loud even though deep down, I know that I shouldn’t give in to the temptation. This might be a mistake but I am exhausted and emotionally drained. My heart has been shattered in just the span of a day.

I am all alone.