The Werewolf's Vampire Mate
Chapter 245: The decision to find him.

Chapter 245: The decision to find him.

Gyles.

I don’t know what to do and how to stop the hurt.

My wolf is crying.

Crying so loud and I don’t know how to stop it. the only way things can get better is if he accepts me. after the dream, I thought things were better. I thought I was finally on his good side but I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to do.

I just wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to talk to him.

Is that too much to ask for?

Well, you deserve this.

I don’t know whose side my wolf is on. We are one. No matter how much he tries to hater me. he will always be a part of me. I get that I was a bitch to him but I have changed. I am trying to be better.

You are still the same selfish person. You keep thinking about yourself.

You will end up alone.

I used to think that I wanted to be alone. I didn’t think it was anything but now, all I want is them. I just want the two of them to love me. I want to see Blue smile at me. I want to make him happy. I want them both.

Selfish.

I close my eyes because this is frustrating.

"What can I do,’’ I shout out to the trees.

I am outside the compound. Going for a run right now seems like a good idea. I walk until I get to the field. I don’t know what I can do to prove to him that I love him, that things will be different this time. I want to make things right but he is not even giving me the chance.

"You know he doesn’t mean to hurt you,’’ I turn around and Rex looks at me with pity. This is all my fault. I had Blue. He wanted me and I fucking blew it. I can’t blame anyone but me but I don’t want his pity right now. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself.

"When is he coming back,’’ I run my hands through my hair.

He releases a heavy sigh and walks up to me till he is in front of me. he reaches for me and I don’t fight him off because I want him. even though I feel an emptiness that is coming from Blue’s absence. I can’t resist Rex. I don’t even know how it works and I don’t think I ever will but I just know that I feel the exact same thing for the two of them. It is shocking but also exciting. There are things that I tried to fight away. I wanted to resist it all and I caused all the problems. We are supposed to be together. we were supposed to be happy but I pushed him away and now he hates me—he doesn’t trust me and I don’t know if he ever will.

"He didn’t leave because of you, stop beating yourself up for this. you need to understand that Blue loves you. he might be playing hard to get right now but he will never let you go.’’ he tries to assure me and I want to believe him but my wolf doesn’t even believe in me anymore.

Do something.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know how to make things right.

I don’t know how to undo the damage that I have caused.

I close my eyes as Rex rests his hand on my shoulder. I am taller than him but at this moment, I feel smaller. I feel weak. This is not supposed to affect me as much as it is. my heart feels heavy. I have been unable to eat or drink. It feels like I am dying. How can one person affect me gravely?

Go and find him.

My wolf is spewing thoughts into my head, thoughts that I shouldn’t be thinking. I don’t even know where he could possibly be right now. I don’t know anything about Blue. I don’t know where he lives.

You can find out. Take Rex and look for him.

I look at Rex and he is watching me. there is sadness in his eyes. He is not happy about it but I can tell he doesn’t know what to say. there is nothing he can say because right now, he has no words to make this better.

"When is he coming back Rex?’’ I ask. my eyes never leave his face. I will know if he is lying and I hope he doesn’t lie to me right now.

"He doesn’t know yet, he said a couple of weeks.’’

My heart stops in my chest. A couple of weeks? How the fuck am I supposed to survive for that long. He is not even talking to me right now. how will I go for a couple of weeks without talking to him?

"I can’t survive for a week, let alone a couple of weeks. You can’t be serious right now.’’

He sighs "It’s not just you Gyles. I miss him too." He doesn’t understand that this is different for me. at least he has the chance to hear his voice. I have to haunt him in his dreams. I can’t handle another day of this.

Go and look for him.

You can’t just sit around and wait for him.

At this point, I think my wolf is right. I need to find him; I need to look for him and make him see that I am serious about everything. I need him to believe that I am sincere and that he can trust me.

"What are you thinking Gyles?’’ Rex is still watching me; it is almost like he can read my mind. Maybe he just knows me a lot more than I know myself.

’’ I am going to find him; I can’t just sit around and wait for him to come back. I am dying here.’’ I tell him honestly.

I feel like before he gets back, I will die of heartbreak. Sitting around just means I have accepted being apart from him.

"That is crazy, Blue will not like that and besides, you don’t know where he lives." He is trying to talk me out of it but suddenly I have already made up my mind.

"I am doing this Rex. I need to do this. please come with me,’’ I want him with me, maybe if Blue sees me, he won’t turn me away. I need to see him. I need him in my arms. I need the two of them in one place together. I want us happy, I don’t want us to have problems. I need to make that happen.

I look at him because I need to know if he is in or out.

i need him in.