The Werewolf's Vampire Mate
Chapter 188: Explore me as much as you want

Chapter 188: Explore me as much as you want

Gyles.

Something has been pushing me towards him. I tried my best to stay back. No matter how much self-control I thought I had, at that moment there was no choice.

He welcomed me into his room with open arms. He didn’t fight it. He didn’t push me. It feels really great to have this opportunity to feel all that I am feeling again. I thought all my emotions had died with Roger. I didn’t expect to feel this again so soon.

It feels amazing.

Rex grabs the collar of my shirt, clutching unto it tightly. Our lips are still pressed together. This kiss is unlike any I have ever experienced.

More.

Something shouts to me in my head. It is like a voice, that only I can hear. There is an echo in my mind. It feels like my consciousness. I can’t even explain it. With the encouragement from the voice, I push him against the wall and he moans out as I press into him. My hands rummage all around his body. He is driving me crazy and I don’t think he even knows it. Does he know that his lips on mine, makes me feel like I am on cloud nine? Does he feel the same way? Does my touch give him chills, like the electricity that is surging through my body from his? Is he losing his mind as much as I am in this moment?

Rex slides his hand inside my shirt, still kissing me and I let out a soft growl. I feel like I am vibrating. The craving inside me intensifying. The more he kisses me, the more emotions I feel. Something comes over me as I feel his skin on mine. a rush of shivers. My eyes are still closed but at this moment all I see is a future. One that involves him, the life I have always wanted. A life that seems possible. With that vision—or whatever I can call it. I lose control. I grab him by his waist and lift him up in one easy swig. A gasp escapes from his lips as I pull apart from him for a second. Carrying him to his bed. I don’t know what the hell I am doing, I just know that I want this with him.

Whatever this is.

The other guy—blue, springs up in my mind. Almost like his face pops up and my heart thuds in my chest. I don’t know why I just thought about him but the thought is gone as quick as it came. Rex holds unto to me steadily as I place him on the bed. The mattress is soft, so he bounces softly. I climb in between his legs. Now, his eyes are open. he is staring at me lustfully. I never imagined that I would see this expression on his face but I have to say, I like it a lot. His cheeks are red—flushed, there are trickles of sweat on his forehead.

"Is this just a kiss too?’’ I breathe out heavily—not even recognizing the sound of my own voice. I sound insane.

I like it a lot.

"Uh.’’ he manages in a stutter. He is nervous, maybe a little shy but there is a dreamy expression on his face that tells me he liked the kiss just as much as I did.

"Can I kiss you again?" I ask him, wanting to be a hundred percent sure. He reaches for me and brushes his finger right underneath my eye "It is not glowing anymore,’’ he points out.

I can’t even tell. As I said, this feels completely out of my control. I feel something inside of me that is making me do all the things I am doing. I don’t have any regrets and I probably would do this even without that voice in my head.

"I guess it was kissing you after all.’’

He chuckles, still touching me. I grab his hand gently. He squeezes mine softly. His eyes are still boring into mine. Sending chills down my spine. It feels great to feel this way. I thought I never would again and now I don’t want to lose this.

"What does this mean?’’ he asks.

He seems like the kind of person that overthinks about everything.

"Does it have to mean anything?’’ I ask him and maybe that statement is a mistake because his face falls and the dreamy expression that I have come to love on his face is replaced with a sad one.

Shit, I just made him sad.

I don’t want that.

"My wolf is calling out to you,’’ he tells me. "I know you might not have that inner wolf inside you. Beau said you are a Lycan. He said he felt it. So maybe deep down, your wolf is doing the same.’’

I sigh.

I don’t know about all that. Wolves and claims. I don’t feel anything like that. Maybe this is all new to me. it has just been a week since I lost Roger and I don’t think I am ready for a new relationship. My heart is still on the pathway to mending. I can’t rush into this because I don’t want to hurt him—maybe I will just end up hurting him no matter what.

"I don’t feel any wolf in me. I just know that I like being around you,’’ I lean forward and kiss his lips softly. He raises his head forward to deepen the kiss but I pull back from it with a smile "Do you want to get to know me?’’ I ask him, silently praying he says yes. I didn’t have any reasons to stay here. Beau has been very hospitable but with everything that has happened in this pack. Being here will always be a reminder of Roger. They might say that they are all over it and I won’t be treated differently but I know how these things work. They will judge me even before getting to know me. They will hate me, even though I haven’t done anything and I will always remember him and the things he did in my absence. All the good that he has done will be clouded and I only want to remember him for the good.

Suddenly with Rex in the picture. I don’t want to leave him. I want to stay with him. Know what makes his smile. The things he doesn’t like, the things he does like. It seems impossible but my heart is leaning towards him and I don’t want to fight it.

I watch him curiously as I wait for his response. He nods his head slightly. I can sense the uncertainty around him. He said the guy he kissed—Blue, was just a kiss but I don’t think so. There is more to him and Blue and I will like to find out. Did he feel the same way when he kissed him? Is his wolf calling Blue to him just like me?

Am I different?

I don’t know what I want exactly. I don’t know if getting into a relationship with someone else so soon is the best thing for me. I don’t even know what the hell happened to me in that community. I remember most of the things that happened but they are foggy memories that Roger pulled out of my head. I want to know what happened when my whole family was killed. I want to know why everyone seems to think I am a fucking wolf when I don’t even feel like one.

It is impossible that I would have a wolf inside me and not even know.

"What about your just a kiss?’’ I ask him. His cheeks redden even more than earlier. "You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.’’

I am not pressuring him into anything. Yes, we kissed. Yes, I want to do it again and so much more but if he has any worries or doubts, I will back off instantly. I won’t pressure him to do anything he is unsure of.

"Have you ever heard of anyone that has two links?’’ he asks.

I furrow my brow in confusion. I wasn’t a vampire for a long time. Most of the life that I remember was spent as a human. The man I loved, I loved as a human. I and Roger were not fated, we made our own history. I don’t know much about Links and mates. I don’t know how this works but I sure as hell don’t think that is possible.

"Isn’t that a bit farfetched?’’

He sighs and then covers his face with his hands. I smile at how cute he is. He thinks he has two mates. Is he conflicted between me and Blue? That doesn’t make any sense but I won’t bring him down and let him think I am judging.

I grab his hands and pull them away from his face, his eyes are closed "Look at me Rex,’’ I call out to him. He opens his eyes immediately, shaking his head "That was stupid. Can you forget I said that?’’

I shake my head "Nothing you say is stupid. If you are unsure. It is fine. There is no pressure to do or feel anything. I want you to take your time. Explore your feelings. I will help,’’ I lean forward again and this time our kiss is longer. He moans into my mouth and I love the reaction I get every time I kiss him.

After a couple of minutes, I pull back from him "Would you like me to stay in the community?’’

I guess I have to stay. See how things will turn out with him. I don’t even want to leave anymore. Maybe things could actually turn around for the better for me.