THE Knight's Hidden Princess
Chapter 155: Missing You

Chapter 155: Missing You

Of course she knows all about what had happened to me in the past! I thought to myself as I forced my expression to remain neutral. The keeper seems to know a lot everyone and everything, which is why I wasn’t surprised when she made mention that she knew what my mother had done. But her claiming it wasn’t her fault, I knew that. I always have even when I was a kid.

It wasn’t her fault because she thought the only way we would ever be happy was if we could escape my father and she doesn’t care if that means the only way through it was death. The keeper reached for a kettle and poured me a cup of steaming hot tea. Smiling, she grabbed a cup and motioned for me to take a sip out of my tea.

I extended my hands slowly to take my cup. The warmth sunk into my fingers, an odd comfort which made me feel steady. My eyes stayed fixed on the swirling steam of the amber drink for an undecided period. I stared back up at the keeper who was watching me with a smile on her face and I decided to drink it, just a minor amount though.

A twist of spice emerged beneath the tea’s floral sweetness and sweet taste which brought unanticipated peace. I visibly relaxed as I drank the tea again, allowing taste to comfort me but I was not going to admit it.

"How do you feel now?" The keeper asked me as she calmly set her cup down.

"Guess this is where we talk about our feelings." I said dryly as I set my tea down.

The keeper shook her head at me, "We don’t have talk about anything."

I was quiet for a minute before I decided to open up my mouth to speak. "She believed death was mercy." I said with a wry smile on my face, "Do you know what kind of life you have to live to consider death mercy?"

The keeper smiled wryly as she stared at me, her arms folded her hands in her lap. "Your mother was...your mother was broken and broken people don’t always know how to protect without hurting." She said and I was quiet, reaching for my tea instead. I didn’t drink it, just held it in my hands, enjoying the warmth.

"You are scared." The keeper finally spoke and I looked up at her, "You are scared that you are going to treat your child the same way. You are scared you are not going to be happy enough to love them the way they deserve."

I didn’t give a reaction at all because everything she said was true. The thought had crossed my mind countless of times. Everyone was making such a fuss about the baby and me I had just seen it as performing my duty. It’s what I’ve been told all my life but now as the day to when I’ll be due approaches, I can’t help but think about what sort of connection I was going to be sharing with my son.

I never had a good upbringing when I was growing up but that just isn’t something that I would wish on any child of mine. Reagan was going to be a good father, I know he is. But he can’t always be there for him, he is always going to be out there conquering kingdoms for my father and me, truth is I was just scared and now that the keeper said it out loud, it was now weighing me down.

The keeper looked at me with for a minute before she spoke again. "You are not your mother Dahlia." She said her voice firm and steady, "You may carry her blood but not her choices."

"No, but I carry her scars." I said with a smile on my lips. "And sometimes I think I may I have swallowed all her sorrow. There was nothing that could have made my mother happy and I always think that was going to be the same for me." I said with a chuckle.

"You really think that?" The keeper said, "That you won’t be happy?"

I stared at the keeper, looking at her eyes that expressed no color. She sat still her hands folded neatly on her lap her eyes holding mine with uncanny expression waiting for my response on the question she asked me. Cocking my head, I stared at her, "Let me ask you something." I said and the keeper stared at me, "You see things, correct?"

"Only what is revealed to me through the eyes of Naktus." She responded in that critic way she always respond.

Right! I thought to myself as I stared at her, "Then let me ask what you see when you look at me. Do you think I’ll ever be happy?"

The keeper was silent. She didn’t react as she stared at me. She remained silent and even the atmosphere in the air remained quiet too, as if it held all the weight of her response. Something in the air had shifted as if it wanted to listen to her response. I also held my breath in anticipation.

Then ever so gently she spoke. "I’m sorry." She responded and though I didn’t react but something inside of me broke, quietly.

It wasn’t what she said per say, but it was the softness and the raw honesty that she used to express the deep sorrow as she spoke.

Why? I wanted to yell! Why won’t I? I wanted to yell but I swallowed it down and just cradled my cup instead the warmth that had once comforted me before was now distant. The keeper stared at me with a wry smile on her face and as I stared at her, I realized that I couldn’t blame her. I was the one who had asked for her after all. I was the one who had asked the question.

Though I do find it funny how it was the first response that I would be getting from her that wasn’t cryptic or spoken with riddles.

So I decided to ask another. "Will we ever win?" I asked her, my voice trembling a little.

"True happiness doesn’t happen without sacrifice." The keeper said, "I may not have heard the sound of laughter ringing in the sounds of your fate. But I have seen the light fight through your darkness. It is only through your sacrifice can the people truly find the happiness they deserve."

Right, I can’t be happy but the people will and it is because of my sacrifice.

"Thank you." I said even as tears slowly slipped from my eyes, "Thank you." I said again and the keeper just gave me a wry smile staring at me with eyes that look like they can see more than what they tell me.

***

REAGAN POV

Lightning flashed across the stormy grey skies as the rain fell heavily across the kingdom of Iravia. I stood in front of the window, watching as the water droplets rolled down the glass pane that made it hard to see anything. Silence enveloped me in the room, the only sound that could be heard is the regular rainfall patterns and intermittent distant thunder that rumbled loudly

My reflection stared at me through the glass, my gaze unfocused while my cheeks look hollow and the circles under my eyes. There was no denying that I had trouble sleeping. Lack of proper sleep is what has become my new reality for several days and it was all because of her.

Dahlia!

I honestly do not know how long that I can last being away from her. It’s been three weeks since I’ve been without Dahlia, three long weeks without my wife! Without hearing from her, I don’t even know what she is doing, if she is happy or if she misses me just as much as I miss her and not knowing all of that was driving me crazy!

The entire manor brought me back to memories of her. The silent hallway that echoed with her laughter and the way she always walked barefooted in the garden when she thought no one was watching. I really do miss her and I can’t wait for her to come back home.

I was still lost in thoughts when the door to my room opened. I didn’t bother to turn around because I wasn’t about to give whoever it was an audience. I needed to be alone with my thoughts right now. I was just about to ask whoever it was to get out if they didn’t have anything meaningful to say when all of a sudden, I felt hands grabbing me from behind.

I looked down only to find two feminine hands that trailed down my chest and was about to reach down towards my trouser but I stopped those movements by grabbing those hands. A wince escaped her and I turned only to find the one woman that I was not thinking of and one that I would never think of.

"Celeste!"