The Empty Box and Zeroth Maria
Book 1: Chapter 11

After that fateful accusation, things didn’t return to normal between Otonashi and me.

She had no retort for me, not even an angry look. I was nonexistent to her. Naturally, I was as powerless before her as always, so my only recourse was to leave the hotel.

I’ve been loitering out front for a little while, but that’s nothing more than my lingering emotions. Just wasting time. Glancing out of the corner of my eye at the bike Otonashi “borrowed” from somebody, I start walking. I stop by a convenience store and buy a bottle of tea. I sip on it for a while, and by the time it’s empty, I realize I can’t really recall what I was drinking.

This could be the end.

Unlike Otonashi, I have no idea whether my memories will stay with me next time. If she no longer has any use for me, I’ll eventually forget everything and be expelled from the Rejecting Classroom. I’ll disappear like all the others.

The road is silent. There are no streetlights. No color at all.

It’s like the person who made this world didn’t bother to fill in all the details.

I raise the empty bottle to my lips. It’s like if I don’t pretend to drink, I’ll be swallowed myself… What is it? I can’t pinpoint what’s bothering me.

Suddenly, I can hear the music of my favorite band in the quiet street. What’s going on? Oh, that’s just my ringtone… My ringtone? Does that mean someone’s calling me? Oh yeah, that’s right!

I don’t remember doing it, but I must have given her my number, maybe in one of the other worlds.

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket.

The caller ID on the screen reads “Kokone Kirino.”

I look up at the sky. I know things never work out that easily, but it doesn’t hurt to hope.

I take a breath to compose myself and then answer the phone.

“Oh, hey, Kazu.”

I could be wrong, but I can’t detect the usual energy in Kokone’s voice. Maybe she’s always like this on the phone? We’re friends and all, but I’ve never really had a phone conversation with her before.

“Um, hey…”

I have the feeling I know where this is going. Yeah, I’m sure of it. I just can’t remember it all right now.

“Can you come meet me somewhere?”

What is it? What happens next?

“There’s something I have to tell you, Kazu.”

3,087^th Time

It’s a fact that I love Umaibo, but I’m actually not a huge fan of the teriyaki burger flavor.

We’re in the run-down park in front of her house, talking in front of the fountain. I’m eating the Umaibo she gave me.

“…So what do you think?”

“……Hmm, uh, I guess it’s not too bad.”

“I wasn’t asking about your snack.”

I know that, but my mind is racing too much to answer anything else.

“…Will you go out with me, then?”

My experiences in love have been so few that even that question doesn’t freak me out as much as it should.

Either way, my classmate is probably just as nervous as I am. I’ve never seen her like this before.

Her eyes are always large, but they seem especially so now. Maybe it’s the new mascara she tried this morning. She’s watching me intently.

I can’t help but look away.

At a loss for what to do, I feel like I have to say something. “So…I guess that means you like me?”

The face of the girl before me turns bright red.

“…I think so.”

“You think so?” I repeat her words as a question without thinking.

“……Wh-why would you ask me that? You know what my answer is… O-or do you just want to hear me say it?”

“Ah…!” I lower my eyes as I finally realize how insensitive that was. “I’m sorry.”

I apologize by reflex. She meets my gaze through her lashes and whispers:

“…Yes, I like you.”

She’s so adorable in that moment that I break eye contact. The affection radiating from her is melting my heart. It doesn’t hurt that she’s good-looking, too.

She’s so cheerful and always has a crowd around her. I know she’s turned down more than a few suitors, too. I would probably really enjoy going out with her, but…

“I’m sorry.”

But that’s my response. I’m surprised at how easily I could say that. I know I’m passing up a great opportunity. It’s just that I can’t see myself going out with her. It wouldn’t feel real.

The hope in her eyes disappears, and tears replace it. I can’t make myself look, even though I know I’m the one responsible.

I can’t find the words. If I open my mouth, the only thing that’ll come out is “Sorry.”

“……It was hard for you to say, wasn’t it?”

I nod at her hushed words.

“…Hey, you like Umaibo, right?”

I nod at that, too, despite the lack of context.

“You aren’t such a big fan of the teriyaki burger flavor, though.”

“…Yeah.”

“Which one’s your favorite?”

“Um…maybe corn potage?” I answer unsteadily, unable to figure out why she’s asking me this.

“I see. I see, I see…”

Her head bobs in time with her words.

“Ha-ha,I guess I failed.”

There’s nothing special about her remark, but for some reason I can’tget over it. Like how shoddy editing in a video sticks out like a sore thumb.

“So maybe if I’d made a move on you differently, you might’ve gone out with me?”

She keeps her head low as she says this.

I’m not so sure I would have. My thoughts are so conflicted… On second thought, no. I know what I would’ve done.

I would’ve turned her down, no matter what.

And my answer will never change, as long as it’s the same me and the same circumstances.

As long as it’s today, I can never imagine myself dating her.As long as it’s today, I’ll always turn her down.

“That look on your face says you’re not so sure.”

I can’t say anything in response to that.

She takes my silence as a yes and finally gives a little smile.

“Okay, I get it.I’ll just keep after you until you finally return my feelings.”

Maybe it’s not a bad idea. That’s the least I can give her after turning her down so bluntly.

Still—it won’t work if it’s any day before tomorrow.