The Devil's Good Girl
Chapter 152: Guilt

Chapter 152: Guilt

Marianne had a bad habit of biting her lips until they bled or the tip of her thumb whenever she was stressed. Sometimes, whenever she was deeply pissed off. But why was she pissed when she heard Valerie slapped Fil?

Fil had no idea.

Her body and instincts automatically went into a friendly mode. She tried to calm Marianne like she used to, but her mind was elsewhere. Fil couldn’t understand it. Marianne should be acting like a good friend like always, that two-faced white lotus scheme she was so used to doing.

After all, Marianne and Valerie got along very well. It was obvious Valerie liked Marianne, and Marianne, as the third party was supposed to cheer the brat on hating on Fil. Yet, the reaction Fil got was different from what she imagined.

"I’m fine now." Marianne suddenly clasped Fil’s hand as her fingertips brushed her lips. "Sorry."

Worry brimmed in Fil’s eyes. "Anne," she breathed out. "You said you worked on this bad habit."

"I did." Marianne forced a smile, touching her lips gently. "Still, other people tend to set me off sometimes."

"I’m fine." Fil intuitively clasped Marianne’s hand with both her hands. "I’m fine, Anne. Don’t be mad about it."

Fil knew at this moment that she was unaware of why she was letting her ’habits’ take over. Probably because she was stunned and confused, or perhaps it was just her survival instinct kicking in. Whatever it was, she felt the deep urge to calm Marianne down.

Even when Fil hated her, even when this woman hurt her differently and painfully, she felt like reassuring her.

"Stop." Marianne pressed her thumb on Fil’s hand. "You’re not fine."

Marianne suddenly pulled her into her embrace, even though her body was the one shaking. She patted Fil’s back, taking in deep breath through her gaping mouth.

"Why do I always have to know last, Fil?" she whispered. "And why can’t you tell me you’re not fine? That everything is crap? And it sucks?"

Fil’s eyes dilated, stunned. Her mind just went into a totally blank state.

"Fil, am I that unreliable to you that you don’t — never — not even once leaned on me?" Marianne continued. "You don’t mind telling your problems to other people or talking to strangers. But you don’t talk to me about anything! It’s frustrating... that I always feel so useless to you."

"Anne," Fil whispered, touching the woman’s back reluctantly. "Are you crying?"

Marianne simply tightened her embrace. "It’s like you don’t need me for anything." She gulped the tension in her throat, finally releasing Fil from her arms.

"It’s okay not to be okay," she continued, nodding at Fil reassuringly. "I know you’re hurt and you can always tell me about it. I’m always free to listen. You know I’d stop or cancel anything for you and it’s not a burden. It’s never a burden."

Fil opened and closed her lips, staring vacantly at her. Tears streamed down Marianne’s face as if she was deeply hurt by something. After faking her tears and reading everything about it, Fil could tell these weren’t fake tears.

Marianne was crying... and she was crying because of her?

’How can I do that?’Fil responded in her mind, eyes fixed on Marianne. ’How can I lean on you when I know once I do, I’d realize it is nothing but an imaginary pillar? How can I say I’m hurt when you’re the one who cut my heart in half?’

’Hah.’ Fil mentally scoffed. ’You... make me sick.’

Fil pressed her lips into a thin line before a subtle smile took over. She reached for Marianne’s hand again, squeezing it mildly.

"I’m not fine," she confessed with a smile. "But I will be. This decision I made hurt me like hell, but I know it’s for my own good. I am unhappy now, but I’ll be okay. Maybe not now. For sure, I’m still unhappy tomorrow. But eventually, I’ll be fine, Anne."

"So, don’t cry for me," she added. "I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. You know that’s not my intention. From now on, I’ll be more honest with you."

Marianne studied Fil’s face and nodded. "You will?"

"Yes."

"Fine." Marianne let out a deep sigh, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. When she finished, she looked up at Fil. "Where did she slap you?"

"That’s like weeks ago," Fil smiled. "It’s already healed up."

"Where?" Marianne stressed, making Fil frown.

"Here." Even so, Fil pointed at her cheek. "She left a cut on the side of my lips, but it’s all healed up now."

Marianne let out another deep exhale, snapping her eyes to meet Fil’s. "Seriously. Why do you always let people do this to you?"

"I changed," Fil quipped weakly. "I won’t let anyone hurt me again, and that’s a promise."

"Good." Marianne nodded. "That’s what I only want to hear. Don’t let others hurt you, no matter who they are."

Fil nodded back. "No exception, Anne. No exception."

*******

Meanwhile...

Vincent grunted as he scrunched up his face when the morning sun hit his face. He slightly peeked through his squinting eyes before he turned his head to the other side. He kept his other eyes closed, gazing at the crinkle on the other side of the bed.

He spread his arm on it, sighing deeply. Last night, he was so drunk he didn’t know what he was doing. Although he could remember snippets of it. For instance, he knew he was arrested for drunk driving and Marianne came to bail him out.

"My head is killing me," he grumbled, pushing himself to sit up.

His brow arched as he gazed down, knowing underneath the sheet was nothing but his naked body. He ruffled his messy morning hair, gazing at the vacant space of the bed. If Marianne took him here and he didn’t have clothes on, he was certain something happened between them last night.

Again.

"I really am an idiot," he breathed out, burying his face in his palms. He lowered his head while his fingertips crawled all the way from his face to his hair. "I told her I’ll do better... but I keep waking up in this same old crap."

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