The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)
Chapter 59: There’s no such thing as acting nonchalant after your first time

Chapter 59: There’s no such thing as acting nonchalant after your first time

I think I spent more than an hour in the shower that morning, submerging myself in the tub even after the water turned lukewarm, and then became cold.

I kept glancing toward the spot where I thought Natha was relieving himself earlier, and it got me all red and flustered. It was so embarrassing hearing someone jerking off to me, even more embarrassing than the fact that he helped me jerk off before.

Just the memory of seeing my discharge all over his fingers was...

God! Stop thinking about it!

In the end, Natha knocked on the door to ask about my condition, and I almost hit the side of the tub from getting startled. I managed to come out unscathed, but had to face another problem.

Namely changing in front of the Demon Lord who casually lounged at the armchair beneath the window, which had the perfect view of the bed and the closet. Granted, he was reading papers and not looking at me at all, but...

Damn it! It wasn’t like I never did it in front of him, and it wasn’t like I was completely bare either since I wore my undergarment already. But I felt so conscious of myself right now—or rather of my body. I wanted to change quickly, but ended up making stupid clumsy mistakes like putting my arm in the wrong sleeve, making the process even longer than usual.

What worse was that when I was finally done and turned around, Natha was staring at me with a playful smile.

"W-what?" I ended up stuttering as a response.

He stood up and walked to me nonchalantly, all the while the smile never left his face. I couldn’t help but blink repeatedly as he came closer, every step that he made adding speed to my heartbeat.

Natha stopped just a few inches in front of me, and leaned down. My heart felt like jumping and my body unconsciously flinched, thinking that he would kiss me.

But he stopped just before his lips touched mine and smirked, shifting closer to my ear and whispering. "You’re adorable," he straightened himself after, smiling sweetly, and turned me over to start combing my hair.

Gods above and below, I had no idea whether I wanted to curse or kiss him.

Haa...at a time like this, I really wanted to adopt Valmeier’s nonchalant personality. That priest wouldn’t get flustered over something like this, even if he was also a virgin. He would just say ’Oh, thanks for the help’ and be done with it. He wouldn’t even remember about it anymore until he somehow got turned on again some other day.

I had no idea whether that kind of non-expressive personality was a blessing or a curse. But I did need that now, or else I would end up being a boiled crab for the rest of the day.

Scratch that—for the rest of his stay.

But do you know the worst of it all?

It was when your pet bird looked at you dubiously from the fluctuation of your emotion. I swore that bead-like eyes even narrowed at some point, and the usually high-pitch chirping got lowered an octave, as if questioning why its master acting suspiciously flustered today.

But what could I do? It was like a physical reaction. Just meeting his gaze already sent fire all over my face. I couldn’t even look at anything that gave reflection, in fear of seeing the mess that was my flushed face.

And then, every time parts of his body came close to me, I would unconsciously flinch. He didn’t even touch me; it was just things like how his fingers almost grazed mine as we had breakfast, how our elbow almost touched when we walked side by side, how his lips would hover over my ear as he leaned aside to grab something...

I ended up acting clumsy the whole day, dropping my utensils, almost ripping out a book page, spilling my drink, toppling a flower vase down—damn it!

This was madness. I was so conscious of him all the time, so conscious of the distance between our skin, and it was maddening! And he definitely knew it!

He said nothing about our...activity this morning, as if nothing out of ordinary was happening. So while Zia looked at me with the same suspicious eyes that Jade used, she didn’t try to ask about it.

But Natha also deliberately not touching me at all throughout the day, probably because he knew I was already in enough mess. And yet, it didn’t prevent him from getting extremely extremely close without touching me, just like what he did after I changed earlier.

He would lean closer, almost grazing me with his fingers, or make it as if he would plant a kiss on my face, only to do something else after I embarrassingly flinched or closed my eyes in a fluster.

He would smile charmingly then, like a criminal without remorse. This damn Demon Lord.

As a result, I was in a constant state of palpitation. It was already early autumn, and the weather had become cooler, but my face and ears felt like they were always on fire.

It got to the point that I ended up curling on the couch, and avoided looking at him at all. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the bed, even after changing into my nightwear. Just thinking of laying there with Natha brought me back to this morning’s event, and I began to wonder if the same thing would also happen tomorrow.

It might be, seeing how much I flushed and jumped at his presence.

It sucked. He could only spend a day here and I wasted it by being silly and flustered and now I couldn’t even look at him! Why couldn’t I be cool and calm and collected about it, like some novel protagonist?

"Sweetheart?"

I flinched at his voice without meaning to, and glanced at him through my shoulder. Natha, who was just came out of the bathroom, seemed to be quite surprised at my reaction, from the way he paused for a second.

He walked toward the couch, and tilted his upper body to look at me. When I turned my head away to bury my face in my upper arm, he sat down behind me and touched my hair lightly.

"Do you want me to go away?" he asked suddenly, prompting me to turn at him in shock.

What? How could I dare to...

He didn’t sound offended by that thought, however, fiddling with the end of my braid while at it. The silver eyes were as warm as ever, and his lips that touched my hair still offered me a gentle smile.

No longer did he look mischievous and teasing. This time, he really meant it, asking me genuinely.

"Should I sleep in another room?"

You? The one who insisted we slept together from the first day you brought me here? The surprise I got from that statement alone made me forget about being flustered.

At my silence, he continued with a forlorn gaze. "Or would it be better if I go back tonight?"

"No!" I moved before I could think, grabbing the arm he used to play with my hair. I stared at him with what must have looked like a pleading gaze. "Don’t go now..."

It felt childish and embarrassing, but thinking about him going away now, when I had to wait for another week to see him again...it made me sad.

"I’m sorry...I don’t...I’m just..." ah, this damn stutter when I got flustered was really annoying. I bet even my thought was jumbled so much that he couldn’t read me.

Ugh—I pressed my lips, since I couldn’t string a coherent thought anyway. "Sweetheart," Natha spoke then, letting go of my hair. "Can I touch you?"

I lifted my head, and blinked instead of nodding. He cupped my cheek then, and I could feel my face heating instantly. When I bit my lips because of it, he rubbed them with his thumb, leaning down and gazing at me gently.

"Don’t bite your lips, you might hurt yourself," he whispered, lifting my face. "I’m sorry I teased you too much today. You’re just too adorable that I couldn’t help myself."

So he really was teasing me!

As my brows started to furrow, he laughed and caressed the crease on my forehead. "Forgive me. That’s why I thought I should get punished and left you alone tonight, so you can sleep in peace."

Then that would feel like a punishment for me too! The corner of my lips went down unconsciously, and he rubbed them again with a soft laugh. "So it’s alright for me to stay?"

"Yes..."

"Can I kiss you?"

"No," I chewed the inside of my cheek, peering into the silver eyes. "Not yet..."

I didn’t want him to leave, but I felt like I would combust if he did more than touch my face. I didn’t even think I could survive having his arm around my waist like usual.

"Alright," he patted my head, as if telling me that he didn’t mind, that it was alright.

Letting out a sigh, I leaned forward and pressed my head on his shoulder for a bit. It was a shame—I would like to feel his cold skin more. But as he said, I wouldn’t be able to sleep if he touched me more on the bed.

"Thank you," he continued to pat my head, as I fiddled with the hem of his robe.

Haa...he should be annoyed at me. Why would he thank me for anything?

It was weird that while my mind didn’t mind the intimacy, my body was being too innocent about it.

"For letting me do that to you, being your first, trusting me with your body," he whispered above my head, tenderly, and full of palpable affection. "Thank you,"

I gripped his clothes tightly then, pressing my head further on his shoulder. Even though his body radiated coldness, my heart felt like it was filled with warm feelings. It got as heated as my face, and I never felt as thankful for trusting the hand he offered me on that snowy night before.

"Thank you," I whispered back. "For being patient with me,"

His soft laughter and tender caress filled the warm room, and with that, my trembling heart and soul.