The Accidental Necromancer
Chocolate is Better than Disappointment

She licked her finger off. “This is amazing. What do you call it?”

“The contents of the bag are called trail mix. A mix that provides good nutrition on a hike on a trail, basically.”

“No, I mean the stuff that looks like poop but tastes better even than heckleberries or lembas bread.”

“We call it chocolate. I have a friend that says that trail mix is a combination of chocolate and disappointment, because the chocolate is so much the best part.”

She popped another piece in her mouth. “Do you always have to sort through the disappointment to get to the chocolate?”

“Not always,” I said. “Could we talk about me getting loose, since you’ve got my chocolate?”

“Shush,” she said, and kept picking through the trail mix and popping the chocolate chips in her mouth. “This is amazing. Better than sex.”

“I think it depends on your partner. But yes, it’s very good.” Watching the almost naked dryad in the middle of sensuous enjoyment was producing more of a reaction than being groped.

She didn’t say another word until she’d left only nuts in the trail mix.

“Do you want more?” I asked.

“You have more?”

“Not on me. But I know where to get some. If you set me free, I’ll come back with more chocolate.”

“As much as this?”

I could bring much more, if I wanted to. But if she was going to let me go for that, I wasn’t going to bargain against myself. “Yes, I think I can get that much,” I said. “It will cost me, but obviously, my freedom is worth it.”

She looked at me, thinking about it.

“Or you can try keeping me restrained forever, constantly watching unless I escape, and never having any more chocolate again as long as you live.”

She frowned. “There is another alternative, you know.”

“You could kill me. Also resulting in no more chocolate.”

She didn’t say anything.

“But I think you’re a better person, er, dryad, than that.”

She looked offended. “Dryads are people.”

“Definitely,” I agreed.

She gave me a fierce look. “If you try to harm me, I’ll just wrap you up again. And this time I’ll use vines with thorns. Swear you’ll come back, with chocolate and without doing me harm?”

“I swear I’ll come back with chocolate and won’t touch you without your permission.”

“What about with my permission?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“That we can talk about,” I said, amazed at her ability to turn on a dime.

She walked forward. “Well, you seem harmless enough.” She pushed her chest up against me, and slid her hand along my side, down to my hip. “I didn’t swear an oath not to touch you.”

“No, you didn’t,” I agreed.

She tugged at my shorts, and when they didn’t yield, she knelt on the ground and worked the button loose. “How do these come off, anyway?”

“Um, Xyla, what are you doing?” My cock was reacting, in spite of my situation. I really needed to focus on making sure she let me go. My cock was definitely hard now, and straining against the shorts. In fact, it was peeking out the top.

“Sealing the deal, of course.” She rubbed the sensitive glans, making me shudder. “You must be enormous.”

“My clothes are designed to be difficult for anyone but me to get off,” I told her.

“Oh, fine. You did swear, after all. I just thought I’d take advantage while you were still all tied up, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have minded.” She waved her hands, and the vines peeled off me, one at a time. It took a whole minute before they were all off.

“Those kinds of games require a lot of trust,” I said. I adjusted the shorts, tugging them up so that they covered me.

“Why wouldn’t you trust me?” she asked, looking up at me with an injured expression.

“Because you grabbed me and tied me up before you even talked to me?”

“Because you destroyed a ton of plants before you even talked to me! Besides, you also made a huge amount of noise doing it. It frightened the squirrels.”

As beautiful as she was, I was not going to accept an angry blow job. I’d be worried about teeth the whole time. “I consider our deal to be sealed. Although, if you wanted a kiss?”

“Kiss? But that’s so intimate.”

And trying to take my pants off wasn’t? “As you wish. We don’t have to, but you know, it might help me have something to look forward to when I return.”

She tilted her head. “That was why I was going to suck your cock and leave you right on the edge of orgasm. But we can do the other.”

She wrapped her arms around me and tilted her face up. I kissed her, intending to keep it gentle, but she slipped her tongue into my mouth so I did the same. I was aware of her soft breasts squishing against mine. It took us several minutes before we stopped for air.

Now! Life Drain!

“See what my tongue can do?” she said.

I grinned, ignoring Enash. “Better than chocolate.”

“Liar!” she said, stepping back. “All men are liars.” She frowned, and then added. “But at least you told a sweet lie. Hurry back.”

“It might not be until tomorrow. I don’t know how long it will take me.” I’d spotted a convenience store just two blocks away from my new place, but I didn’t want to make it seem too easy to get.

“Whenever you come, just, um, make one of those loud noises. But without hurting the forest! The squirrels will hear, and they’ll get me, because that awful noise frightens them.”

I nodded, assuming she meant the sounds of the chainsaw or the line trimmer. I kissed her lightly again. “I’ll see you soon, Xyla.”

“You better, Abela-abby.”

“Just Abby.”

“Oh. Abby is short for Abel, then? Abby is a much better name.” She looked me up and down. “All those curves, and such a big cock. If only that chocolate wasn’t so good, I’d never let you go.” She frowned. “Except that I’m a better dryad than that.”

She watched me as I picked up the weed whacker and walked away. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that she was following me at a distance. I couldn’t stop her from seeing me go into the crypt, which meant at least one person knew where I lived. But after I pushed my way through the doors, I bolted them, and took a deep breath.

God, she was sexy. And dangerous.

That only made her sexier.

By the time I changed my clothes, climbed the ladder, and pulled myself up the rope into my basement, the sun had started to set, and I’d made hardly any progress on the house. The project I’d been so excited about a few days ago was on the back burner, and I didn’t love that.

But I couldn’t get the world I’d discovered out of my mind, and especially, I couldn’t get Xyla out of my mind. Had I really said no to a blowjob from her? But restrained by her vines, it would have landed differently, somehow. If she’d offered again after I’d freed her, I would have taken her up on it. I’d just met her, but I’d had one-night stands before. Most of my relationships weren’t full-on, but that didn’t mean I intended to be celibate. And I wanted to take my new body for a spin.

But on my terms.

I peeled off some more wallpaper, hung some curtains, and planed the bottom of the door that needed fixing.

After dark I went out and bought a few different kinds of chocolate bars, and dropped by the hardware store to get some slats to make a rope ladder out of. Then I took the vacuum cleaner into the mausoleum to get the dust on the floor. That was totally not because I wanted to spend a few more minutes as Abby, and maybe touch myself some.

Cleaning house. Women’s work. You should get a slave to do that.

Yeah, right. My private moment wouldn’t be so private. I supposed I’d get used to that, at some point.

I went back up and assembled the bed. At least I’d get a better night’s sleep than on the air mattress.

But I didn’t. I lay wide awake, thinking of what I’d found outside. Of Xyla. Of her going down on me. Of her hands on my breasts, and mine on hers. I jerked off, wanting to take advantage of the post orgasmic haze to fall asleep, but that didn’t help, either.

Finally, I gave up. Knowing I was going to regret it in the morning, I went back into the basement and through the puzzle. I wore just a loose sweatshirt that I often slept in, and underwear, and put on Abby’s shorts and shoes when I got to the tomb. Of course, I’d also brought chocolate.

I glanced around. The place had nice, solid walls, even if the engravings were a bit strange, showing various battles involving undead armies and an imperious skeletal figure who was presumably Enash. Cover those up with a little wood paneling, and the place might look almost homey, although windows would help a lot. Without windows, though, the place was a fortress with only one way in, and maybe that was best given that it guarded the gate to Earth.

I opened the doors and walked outside. Everything was pretty much as I left it, except that it was night in Xyla’s world just as it was on Earth. Fortunately, I had a flashlight. I revved the line trimmer and sat down on what I took to be the ruins of the guard tower to wait for Xyla to appear.

I was almost ready to give up, figuring she was sleeping, when the trees rustled. Presumably that meant she was approaching, although I didn’t remember any noise warning me before she started wrapping me up, last time.

But instead, the brambles parted, making a path where there hadn’t been before. Fireflies lit the path, making my flashlight unnecessary to see which way to go.  I breathed in the fresh evening air of the forest, including some sweet-smelling flowers. The invitation was obvious, but it made me uneasy. Xyla wanted me further away from home, perhaps in a place she had more power. I thought about the danger, but I still had several cards up my sleeve. As far as I could tell, I could cast Dimension Step repeatedly if I needed to, and she didn’t know about it because I hadn’t used it to escape. It only caused me a headache when I tried to use it to go up into my basement.

I couldn’t turn down adventure. I set out along the path that opened up for me, past brush and trees. Despite the fireflies, I used my flashlight, because I didn’t want to trip on anything, and because I wanted to see the strange new world as I went deeper into it than I had before. I saw several trees that looked like they were some kind of fern. I spotted another one of the green squirrels, and this one stopped to stare at me for a good second before running away.

After a quarter of a mile or so, the path widened into a clearing. There, on a bed of leaves, lay Xyla. Around her various flowers bloomed in an almost perfect circle. A garland of flowers in her dark green hair, and three green leaves, one for each breast and the other at the junction of her legs, were all she wore. She was propped up on one elbow, watching me.

“Hi there,” she said.

“Well, hi yourself.”

“I didn’t expect you to come at night. When someone endowed like you reaches out for a woman at night, she’s allowed to have some expectations. Especially if she has told her she finds her attractive. It is she, isn’t it?”

I hadn’t given it much thought. I suppose — well, there was only one part of Abby that was male. Two, counting her brain.

I went with it. “Sure. She. Of course I find you attractive. Who wouldn’t?” Xyla had the body of a swimsuit model, except for being green with green hair. And those just made her look exotic.

“I did some thinking.”

“And?”

“I thought I couldn’t believe that I let you get away from me.”

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