The Accidental Necromancer
Good to be Me

When we got back to the crypt, everyone was there. Lesseth, thankfully, had reverted to her normal red, humanoid form. Kathy was making burgers on the stove, and teaching Talos how everything worked. Gren was just lounging around, but when she saw us she sat bolt upright. “Abby!”

“Gren!” I said back.

“What?” she asked.

“Never mind.” I walked over and kissed her.

“Uh, get a room?” Kathy said.

“This is my room,” I said. “I’m just letting you use it.”

“Abby,” Gren said. “This is serious. There were elves in my village.”

“Elves?” I wanted to meet some elves. I hadn’t done the exploring that I’d hoped to do because something always came up that was more important, but if the elves were going to come practically next door, I wanted to meet them. “Are they still there?”

“No, they never stay overnight. They say the village stinks.” Gren said. “But they really like that painting! The one with the naked human on the shell.”

“The Botticelli. Birth of Venus.”

“Whatever. They offered all sorts of potions for it, and you could see they really wanted it. My dad made them really pay up. Healing potions, Strength potions, the works!”

“He sold the print?”

“Of course he sold the print. To get those potions would cost more gold than he gives you for whiskey for months!”

“Right.” I could see the possibilities. Potions sounded good, and Gavabar could take a healthy cut by serving as a front man. I could trade with the elves without ever letting them get near the portal, or possibly without them ever knowing I was the source of the prints. On the other hand, it was a bit annoying that he’d sold my gift.

“Of course they wanted to know how the chief of a village like ours acquired such a masterpiece.”

“Of course,” I said.

“They were eager to meet the artist.”

“He’s kind of dead now.”

“But you’re a necromancer, right?” Lesseth said. “That shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

I skipped over the fact that his tomb was probably under guard, unless no one knew where he was buried, and thousands of miles away, and that a zombie Botticelli wouldn’t have any artistic talent anyway, because one objection was enough. “He’s been dead too long,” I said.

Gren nodded. “And no one is going to believe that because the whole thing is too well preserved. And of course they could tell there was magic involved, because it’s so flat and rolls up without cracking the paint. Anyway, dad told them he’d see what he could do, but he didn’t make any promises. He did kind of hint that he knew the artist, though.”

I nodded. I’d managed to attract more attention to my little operation, without meaning to, but maybe I needed another approach. I remember a programmer friend of mine mocking the idea of “security through obscurity.” And yet, what other sort of security could I get? My little band of defenders could stop a few individuals, if need be, but not an army.

On the other hand, our walls were sturdy, and had been built to keep one of the most powerful necromancers in history sealed up. And if it came down to a siege, we had access to an infinite supply of food. The weak spot, of course, was the doors. Replacing them would be difficult, but they could be reinforced with steel.

I couldn’t imagine Xyla being happy holed up away from her forest, in any case. I shrugged. “When do you think they’ll be back?”

Gren shrugged. “They come when they please, every few months.”

“Alright,” I said. “Next time, get me. I want to talk to them.”

Gren grinned. “And maybe do some trading?”

“Exactly.”

Lesseth and I spent the evening trying to catalog the contents of the bag, but it was slow going. Lesseth could take photos of things she didn’t understand, and then pop out and I could tell her the names of the things I put in and roughly what they did. I made a spreadsheet on the laptop, which Kathy quickly took over both because she thought she could do it better, and because that was one less thing for me to do when I was busy identifying photos. Even with three people, it was awkward. Gren and Valeria quickly got bored by it all and went off to have a chat outside.

An hour in, I realized that if Lesseth could hear from inside the bag, she might be able to get a signal, too, which would mean I could see the photos as she took them, and just talk to her about them. It turned out the bag needed to be pretty close to the router, and sound was kind of distorted, which meant that she couldn’t understand me very well. That was kind of a relief, actually, because she seemed to have taken up residence in that bag. I didn’t love the idea of her hearing virtually every word I said in Amaranth, and I liked to have that bag close.

But with a phone connected to the wifi, we could also videochat over the phone, and that was clear. Suddenly, the work started going much faster. Kathy joined the chat and typed into the spreadsheet as I identified things. Talos rubbed Kathy’s back for a while, but eventually he retired to a bed to read his little holy book.

Okay, I admit that looks like the barbed dagger of Abomolich. But it’s really just a replica.

Oh, great, now four people were on the call. I muted my phone for a second, and asked, “Where have you been?”

Playing my game. I did notice the scene in the woods, though. Nail the paladin too and I owe you something, although I admit covering her like that was, well, worthy of a genius like me.

“It wasn’t actually my idea.”

Of course not. That little slime demon is twice the evil mastermind that you are. Hey, I’d forgotten all about those!

“Those” were some vials filled with bright green liquid that Lesseth had trained the picture on.

“What are they?” I asked, as Kathy and Lesseth alike asked me if I knew what they were.

Not telling. I have to keep some leverage. Have fun, though. You can always drink random things and find out. Ta!

I unmuted to tell them they were Enash’s, but I didn’t know what they were.

Enash had a lot of stuff in there, and it was impossible to tell if it was just junk or not. There were a lot of bones, for instance. A few hundred vials of various colored liquids, which might be magic potions or might, at this point, just be very old and vinegary wine. Did magic potions go bad? And for that matter, did stuff decay in the extra-dimensional storage? Some of the bones looked fresh, and the vials weren’t even dusty. As I understood it, anything I didn’t put in the bag had been in there for centuries.

We slowed the process down, so that when we found something of Enash’s, I’d take it out. When we had the coffee table covered with his stuff, I cast Detect Magic.

The dagger was more magical than anything I’d ever seen, and most of the bottles I checked were magical, too. The bones, not so much, and the fact that they weren’t decayed made me think that, at the very least, stuff didn’t spoil in there.

We also discovered that things didn’t go back to where they came from in the bag. Lesseth could sort, but every time I took something out it needed to be reshelved when I returned it.

“I don’t mind,” Lesseth said. “It gives me a way to contribute.”

“You’re like a librarian,” Kathy said.

“No,” Lesseth said. “Librarians are stuffy old men with long beards.”

I laughed. “Not on our world. Librarians are women, more often than not.”

“That’s right,” Kathy said. “Sexy women with glasses and long hair that they keep in a bun, and then when they take the glasses off and undo their hair, suddenly the hero realizes they’re gorgeous.”

“Um,” I said.

“Well, I’m sexy, aren’t I?” Lesseth asked. “Even if I don’t have hair. I can carry a glass, though.”

I explained glasses to her, and then we got back on task.

“You know,” Kathy said a half-hour later out of the blue, “I just can’t get used to you being a chick.”

“It’s not always easy to get used to it for me, either,” I said, suddenly conscious of my body. Which I supposed meant that in a way I had gotten used to it. At least I was no longer bumping my boobs against everything, and when I did, I took it in stride.

“I’m beat,” said Kathy. “You two can keep this up by yourselves, or I’ll help tomorrow night. I’m going to bed.”

“Okay,” I said. “Thanks for your help. Goodnight, Kathy.”

Kathy whispered something to Talos, and the two of them headed up the stairs. “Goodnight, Talos!” I called.

He turned, looking a little sheepish, and said, “Goodnight, Abby.” And then continued.

It wasn’t as if I didn’t know what they were going to do, and I don’t know why he was embarrassed about it.

“I’m tired, too, Abby,” Lesseth said. “Of course I will stay up as long as you desire, but lifting things is not easy for me.”

“Where would you like to sleep?” I asked.

“In here is fine.”

We said our goodnights, and then I took the phone back and returned it to its place outside the crypt. Gren and Valeria had fallen asleep in the zero-gravity chairs.

I had a moment to myself, which was increasingly rare. The air was nice and cool, and I didn’t want to spend the time in the crypt, so I wandered down one of the forest trails. Kathy’s comment about getting used to me being a chick had made me extra aware of my body. I got to a small clearing, and took my dress off, standing naked in the moonlight for a moment. I gave myself time to touch my full, firm breasts and slide my hands down my taut stomach. I stroked my cock languidly and without intention for a few seconds, and then explored my pussy for a few seconds more before stretching a long leg against a tree and stroking my smooth thigh.

“This is me,” I said softly into the void.

The body I had was Enash’s choice, of course. I had nothing to do with it. But then, I didn’t choose my body back on Earth, either, and it was me, too. I’d kept it fit by doing strenuous work and I was proud of it. Tall, strong, muscular.

I ran my hands over Abby’s body again and remembered what I looked like in the mirror. Violet eyes, and ebon hair that flowed over my shoulders. Breasts that showed they were affected by gravity, and yet seemed to resist it. A penis that was small when soft, and very large when hard. Long, sexy legs. I held my phone out, using my selfie camera just to look, and confirmed that reality matched memory. I was beautiful.

If I had chosen, how would I have chosen differently? I probably wouldn’t have even thought to become a futanari, but would I change any of it, if I could? Live life here as a man, or even as a woman without a cock? I loved my breasts. And I loved fucking my women with my big cock. I loved how I looked, and I loved the way my pussy felt, and that I had two very different ways to have an orgasm.

“I love my body,” I said, softly.

Something rustled behind me, and I turned, expecting to see Xyla popping up from nowhere again. But I didn’t see her. Neither did Enash speak up to take all the credit; I suppose he was busy with his game.

“I love my body,” I told myself again. I took a selfie. A face picture, and then a picture with my breasts in it. On a whim, I sent the second picture to Gren, who I was pretty sure would appreciate it. Maybe she’d prefer a dick pic, but not sending those was ingrained in me.

I glanced at my dress and picked it up. It was a nice dress, but somehow putting it on now seemed not to honor the way I felt, so I walked back toward the crypt, naked.

Gren was awake, and grinning at me when I got back. She wolf-whistled, which woke Valeria up. “Whaa?”

“I thought you two were asleep,” I said.

“I was,” Valeria said.

“I was, too, but someone woke me up with a text.”

I chuckled, feeling a little self-conscious about my body. “I should have thought more about that.”

“You can wake me up for that anytime,” Gren said warmly. “Or for this.”

I could feel my cock hardening as the two girls ogled me. I shrugged, and smiled, feeling content with the world. Soft, hard, naked, clothed, I had nothing to be ashamed of.

“Let’s all cuddle together,” Valeria said.

“The beds are small,” Gren said. “Of course we could use her giant bed up in the other world.”

I shook my head, because the last thing I wanted to do right now was transform back into Abel. “We can push two beds together, and keep them together with cable ties. I don’t want to be – I want to be Abby, right now. I’m, well, enjoying having breasts, and – just being me, really.”

“Bouncing bosom,” Gren said. “We enjoy that too, don’t we, Val?”

Valeria smiled shyly and nodded.

We pushed the beds together, and I watched as Val and Gren took their clothes off. If Val and I had gotten to that stage, I think I would have made love to both of them, but as it was, it was nice to lie between them and cuddle, feeling their naked, curvy bodies against mine.

It was good to be me.

Search the lightnovelworld.cc website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.