The Accidental Necromancer
Promises, Promises

Xyla released Talos, and Gren shepherded him inside, past the zombies who stood on each side of the door. “Don’t let him touch anything,” I called out.

“Your paintings are safe!” Gren said.

The cheap prints weren’t what I was concerned about, but hopefully she wouldn’t let Talos damage my coffee maker, either.

I turned to the prisoner getting rained on. “Valeria, I don’t think you’re a bad person,” I said.

“The feeling isn’t mutual. Although.”

“Although?”

“Sometimes you act okay.” She frowned. “And you didn’t detect as evil when I cast the spell. But maybe that’s because you have some sort of ward on you to deceive us.”

“You can sense evil?”

“When I cast a spell, yes.”

“Is Xyla evil?”

“No.”

“Is Gren evil?”

“No. Maybe they are all warded.”

“I suppose it would be silly to let your senses interfere with your preconceptions.”

“Exactly.”

“I was being sarcastic. Look, Valeria, I’m not evil, and I don’t want you to be out here getting cold in the rain. Your – are they panties? They’re soaked.

“They were before it rained,” Xyla said.

Valeria glared at her.

“I’ll be right back.”

I really should always grab my bag of holding immediately every time I enter Amaranth, but I hadn’t turned it into a habit yet. I walked back inside, shielded the bag from Talos, who was shivering in a corner almost naked, with Gren watching him. Right, he needed clothes and a blanket, and now, a towel. I didn’t have any of that in my bag. I could not do everything at once, even if I wanted to, and getting Valeria inside was my priority, even if she was only outdoors because of her own stubbornness.

I pulled my rope from the bag and walked back outside.

I really doubted my ability to tie her so well she couldn’t get free. I wasn’t an expert, and I’d read way too many books where the hero or heroine managed to get themselves loose after being tied up and abandoned. But if we kept watch, the ropes would slow her down.

I tried reason again. “If Xyla lets you loose, will you promise to stay still until I can tie you up again?”

“No.”

Right. I cut the rope in two and held her fast while Xyla undid bits of vines at a time. True to her word, she struggled, and she was as strong as I was. But only little bits of her were unbound at a time, and that gave me a big advantage. Eventually I tied her wrists together behind her back, and then, with the rest of the rope, her ankles.

She was panting by the time we were finished.

“Enjoyed that, did you?” I asked.

“Of course n—um, none of your business.”

I didn’t laugh, but it took an effort. I tried to pick her up and carry her.

She bit me.

I shrugged. We could do this the hard way. I grabbed her feet and dragged her inside, to another corner from Talos.

“What did you do to her?” Talos roared, and started to stand up. Gren flashed her knife at him, and he slouched back.

“Nothing,” I said. “This is just what it took to get her inside out of the rain.”

“She’s not too bright,” Talos said.

“Fuck you,” Valeria said, shocking us all with her language.

“You know, in a weird, twisted way, I kind of like her,” Gren said.

“Of course your ways are weird and twisted, hanging out with an evil necromancer,” Valeria said.

“Who Valeria’s own spell says isn’t evil, apparently,” I said, wanting to remind her. I went back outside, and got the blanket and the clothes, which were still, to my surprise, pretty dry. I stuffed them in the bag of holding to keep them that way, and then walked back.

Xyla, I noticed, stayed just outside the crypt.

“I can guard them better this way,” she told me. “If they run, I can use my vines. In there, I’m just decorative.”

I nodded. “Very decorative,” I said.

She blew me a kiss. “If you would prefer I be decorative to being useful, I can do that,” she said. “But the new girl’s pretty cute, you don’t need me.

Valeria was hardly the “new girl.” She was an opponent, which she’d made clear at every opportunity.

“Abby,” Xyla said, “Are you sure bringing them in there is a good idea?”

“No,” I admitted. “I just don’t have a better one.”

I walked back in, and moved behind the coffin-turned-coffee table. I’d have to share that with Gren someday, she’d enjoy the alliteration. I used it to shield the bag from view, wondering how long I’d end up keeping any of my secrets from the two paladins, and got the blankets and clothes out.

I gave the blanket to Talos. “Use it to dry yourself off. I’ll get you a dry one at some point. And then put the clothes on.” Then I turned to Valeria, and used the other blanket to dry her off as best I could while not getting overly intimate.

“What, you like my nipples to be cold and hard?” she asked.

“Would you like me to dry them?”

She stared at me, clearly not wanting to ask me to do anything for her. “Yes, please,” she said at last.

Fine. I dried her breasts, noticing how firm they were and trying to stay clinical about it. I couldn’t get the dress on her with her hands tied up, not really, but I could pull it up from the bottom and have it be kind of a skirt. Then I covered her with the damp blanket, because even damp I thought it was better than nothing.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re welcome.” I walked away and walked toward the pile of bars. Might as well get started.

“Abby,” Valeria said.

“Hmm?”

“Would you let me touch Talos, so I can heal his shoulder?”

“If I do, will  you promise not to use the opportunity to escape, or help him escape?”

She thought about it. “I suppose healing him might help him escape, so I can’t promise that.”

I wasn’t sure I totally bought the idea that they couldn’t tell a lie. But Valeria seemed to take it pretty seriously, and she was willing to get dragged through the mud rather than make a promise earlier.

Of course, it was always possible she got a kick out of it.

“Do you promise not to help him escape in any other way, or use the opportunity to help yourself escape?” I asked.

“I do so promise.”

“It’s probably easier to bring Talos to her,” Gren suggested.

“Alright,” I said. I was laying out my tools but staying alert. The moment they got close would be a moment of danger, if they planned to try something. I asked Valeria, “You need to touch him? Touch his shoulder?”

“Touch him with any part of my body, and ideally, yes, touch the spot that is wounded.” She frowned. “Don’t get pervy with it. Through clothing works.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. Shoulder to shoulder, I think, Gren.”

Gren marched Talos over. He bent over to touch his shoulder to Valeria, although I noticed he went for her boobs. He also lost his balance and ended up reaching around her, practically giving her a hug.

I didn’t think the fall was an accident, and I doubted he was just copping a feel.

“Thank you, Abby,” Valeria said.

“Yeah, thank you, Abby,” Talos said. “That feels much better.”

“Couldn’t he heal himself?” I’d assumed they were both capable of the same things, but maybe Valeria was higher level, or they specialized somehow.

“We can’t heal ourselves,” Talos said, answering for her. “Only others. It’s why we work in teams.”

“Okay, lover boy,” Gren said. “Back in your corner.” She gestured with the knife.

Talos shrugged and walked back. I got out the measuring tape and chalk, and started marking spots on the floor. My plan was to drill holes in the floor, fit the bars in, and reinforce the holes with concrete.

I was glad Valeria had struggled earlier. It gave me an idea how strong she was. If it could hold me, it could hold her. Talos might be stronger, but probably not on a whole different scale.

“Abby,” Valeria said.

“Hmm?”

“While Talos was over here, he got the bonds around my wrists loosened, and I can now work them all the way free.”

“You idiot!” yelled Talos.

I knew something was up. Her ankles were still bound, though. I wasn’t panicked.

“At some point you’ll be distracted,” Valeria said, “and then I could untie my ankles as well. At which point those metal bars over there would make a pretty good weapon.”

I looked at them. “Yes, I suppose they would.”

“You need to tie me back up, or I’ll escape.”

“But you gave your word not to use this opportunity to escape, so why do I have to tie you?” I couldn’t deny that I would feel a lot more comfortable with her tied up, but I wondered just how far she took a promise, and we still out-numbered the two of them. The danger would come when we started to relax and fall into our normal routine.

Valeria sighed, and I kept measuring and checking the angles. Everything looked good. I got out the drill, attached a masonry bit, and made a racket.

“How can we sleep while you’re doing that?” Talos asked.

“I have to stay up, you have to stay up,” I said. I tested the hole with an iron bar. It was a snug fit, as intended, and I had to force it in, which was perfect. The concrete would help it stay, but it would be hard to dislodge even without it.

I drilled the next hole.

“Abby,” Valeria said. “Would you tie me up, please?”

“So, if I tied you up, you’d feel that you were entitled – maybe even duty-bound – to try to get out, right?”

Valeria frowned. “Yes.”

“But now, you can’t try to escape in any way that takes advantage of your hands being free, including untying your ankles. In fact, if you untied your ankles, then you wouldn’t even be able to run away, under your promise.” I wasn’t sure that was why she hadn’t done it. But we both knew she could, she hardly had to be sneaky about it.

“You are evil,” Valeria said.

I drilled another hole, and another, wondering if she’d make a break for it, and also wondering how much of this whole discussion was because she really liked being tied up.

“You’re building a cage around me,” she said.

“Yep.”

“I’m not some kind of animal.”

“We all are, kinda,” I said. “But thinking animals, capable of love, screwing up, and trying to make things better.” I drilled a hole. She had to wait in between to be heard.

“Is a necromancer capable of love?” she asked.

“Hell yeah,” Gren said. “Although she’s shy about saying the words.”

Did I love Gren? Maybe I did. Either way, I knew I was capable of loving. I certainly cared a lot for her. Drilling meant I didn’t have to respond.

“Abby,” Valeria said. “If you tie me up, I’ll promise not to try to escape until tomorrow night.”

Gren snickered.

“What the heck, Valeria?” Talos yelled.

I drilled, and thought about it.

“Right now, you can’t really try to escape ever. Not using your hands, anyway. Why would I exchange that for a promise not to escape for a day?” I made her wait for one more hole to answer.

“That’s awfully loud.”

“Yes.”

“But it’s amazing that it makes holes so easily in stone.”

It seemed like a good moment. “Where I come from, we have all sorts of things like this. Holes in stone. Holes in armor. Holes in people. I’m all that stands between your world and thousands of people coming with tools like this, killing your people, and taking your land. That’s why I can’t take risks with letting two paladins go.”

She frowned. “Is that really true, Abby?”

“I believe it is. No one can tell the future, but the past indicates that’s what would happen.” I drilled a few holes, to let her think about it. She didn’t take advantage of the next pause, so I carried on, until I’d drilled enough holes to section off a ten foot by ten foot area.

“Abby,” she said at last.

“Yes?”

“I would have gotten the rope off eventually. My promise doesn’t bind me forever.”

That made sense, unfortunately. “Promise to give me three days,” I said.

“Two.”

“Three. You can’t know you would have gotten out in two.” I suspected she could have gotten out in an hour or two. Nancy Drew never stayed bound for a whole day, even if Ned wasn’t around. And the Hardy Boys didn’t either.

“If you tie me up again,” she said.

Of course, it could be a trap. She could just be trying to get me close, while her hands were free. But she’d kept to her promises so far, and I was willing to risk it. Also, I could always Dimension Step away.

“Alright. I tie you up again, and you promise not to escape for three days.”

She nodded. “Yes. I promise.” She wiggled, and tossed me the rope.

“Would you like to get the dress on properly first?”

“I really should,” she said, which didn’t exactly answer my question. “Oh, I see how it works. It’s supposed to go over the top.”

“Yes.”

“Talos, look the other way.”

I have no idea if he did, or not. She pulled it down, giving me another look at her nice, thick thighs, and then pulled it over her head, wiggling so as to pull it under her. “The ones around the ankles are getting a bit loose, too.”

“Idiot!” Talos screamed.

“I’ll fix it,” I assured her.

She stayed still and let me tie her back up again.

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