Switched Life:I Went Viral on a Family Variety Show
Chapter 156: Kick Away the Pair

Chapter 156: Chapter 156: Kick Away the Pair

Sang Chuan turned his head and saw Sang Ning kicking Song Shiye. Quickly, he apologized to Song Shiye: "Brother, I’m sorry for this. Really, thanks for taking the hit for me!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Sang Ning raised her left foot and kicked at Sang Chuan again.

"You—" Sang Chuan was at a loss for words. One kick wasn’t enough; now it has to be two?

Just as he was about to resist, he’d barely uttered a single syllable when Sang Ning interrupted him: "Fairness matters, you were closer to my left foot, so you get your share."

[Hahaha, nobody escapes Sister Sang’s signature kicks of love—everyone gets one!]

[One kick per person, truly fair and square.]

"You have one minute to get rid of the straw on you—quick! Remember, this is a rural variety show, not a wilderness survival camp. Looking like two wild men? What, should I hand you a fire stick next?" Sang Ning mocked mercilessly, her gaze holding not a shred of pity.

[I hereby announce Sang Ning as my spokesperson for this show—Sang Chuan and Song Shiye indeed look just like wild men.]

[The fire stick comment absolutely floored me—I’m already imagining Sang Chuan and Song Shiye, gorilla-style, thumping their chests with one hand and holding fire sticks in the other. The mental image is everything but watchable!]

"Do you even know how hard I worked to get Yiyi to tie this warrior outfit for me? I haven’t even fully basked in its glory, and you’re already asking me to take it off? Can you imagine how embarrassing this is for me?" Sang Chuan grumbled, visibly upset, especially now that he’d finally met someone like-minded in Song Shiye.

A little boy’s game—how could his witch-like older sister ever understand?

Sang Ning didn’t understand, nor did she want to. After Sang Chuan finished whining, her eyes noticeably darkened. At thirty-seven degrees Celsius, her mouth spat out a few icy-cold words: "I’m counting to three..."

"Alright, alright! I’ll take it off! Just don’t count! Every time you start counting, I swear my life feels like it’s entering its final countdown!" Sang Chuan frantically pleaded and began undoing his straw armor without delay.

Song Shiye looked down at his own cool, straw-based warrior armor and sighed. Reluctantly, he too started removing the straw, though his movements spoke of unwillingness.

Fine. Next time, perhaps. For now, it’s better not to make Sister Sangsang angry!

[Hahaha, "I’m counting to three" really is the ultimate move. Every time my mom says that, I swear all my hair stands on end, terrified she’ll bring out a frying pan as her next step.]

[My wife’s ultimate move is also the "I’m counting to three." She doesn’t even need to count properly; just saying those words forces me to grab my keyboard and kneel before her.]

[Wow, can’t believe there are married men following variety shows here. 6666 points to you. You’d better finish your chores ASAP before your wife starts her countdown and scares you senseless.]

[What’s wrong with married men enjoying variety shows? Married men have their rights too, okay? Not to brag, but if that woman dares interrupt my TV time again, I swear I’d knock her so hard her mom wouldn’t recognize her.]

[Glanced at the OP’s IP address—turns out you’re from the land of hen-pecked husbands. You can brag here to the internet folks, sure, but if your wife catches wind of this, chances are she’ll be knocking you silly by tonight!]

"Now are we good? I’ve taken off everything you wanted!" Sang Chuan raised his arms high after removing every bit of straw, signaling Sang Ning, though his tone carried clear reluctance.

"Now that you’re done, go fetch some straw for me! If you keep whining, I’ll transform you into a scarecrow and stick you in the fields!" Sang Ning barked, causing Sang Chuan to buckle under the pressure and reluctantly crouch down to start gathering straw.

But his movements betrayed his true defiance—he fluffed around awkwardly without ever coming close to forming a proper pile.

Seeing Sang Chuan dawdling like this, Sang Ning strode over and pinched his forearm without mercy, announcing, "Put some effort into it! If your hands aren’t working properly, I can help stimulate your acupoints."

As Sang Ning made her point, Sang Chuan howled in agony, quickly pleading for mercy: "I’m strong, so strong! Oh dearest big sis, please stop torturing your adorable little brother!"

"Hmph." Sang Ning snorted coldly and freed her grip.

The one being pinched was Sang Chuan, yet Song Shiye seemed to experience the pain all the same. Sister Sangsang had stopped loving him; she’d even dared kick his butt earlier. If he continued being uncooperative, surely he’d be next in line for a pinch.

With these thoughts in mind, Song Shiye hurried to scoop up a small pile of straw and gazed at Sang Ning with his puppy-like eyes: "Sister Sangsang, I’ve been trying so hard to tie these straw bundles, but I just keep failing. I’m really struggling—can you please teach me? Once I learn, I can help ease your burden."

"You little... damn—" Sang Chuan began cursing Song Shiye but was immediately silenced by one icy glare from Sang Ning.

The suggestion to cosplay as straw warriors came from this insidious Song Shiye in the first place. As soon as he’d arrived, he’d been focused entirely on crafting his straw armor instead of learning how to bundle straw properly.

Little green tea scoundrel, that’s all he was. Sang Chuan’s skills just weren’t enough to avoid getting repeatedly ensnared by Song Shiye’s traps!

Looking into Song Shiye’s sincere, pitiful puppy eyes, even Sang Ning’s tone softened unconsciously: "Bundling straw isn’t hard. I’ll demonstrate once slowly—you focus on watching carefully and understanding the technique. Then give it a try one or two times."

[If Sang Ning gender-switched to being male, I’m certain she’d be a straight-up oblivious bro. She’s absolutely helpless against green tea types.]

[Wrong—Sang Ning only can’t resist green tea types who genuinely adore her. But those sneaky ones trying to get under her skin? She has zero tolerance for them—just look at the way she deals with Chu Xi.]

[Right now, it’s officially a world of Sang Chuan’s suffering. Didn’t you see his rolling white eyes practically trying to ascend to the heavens? Bet he’s silently agonizing over why Song Shiye keeps exuding waves of tea-scented charm.]

Once Sang Ning taught Sang Chuan and Song Shiye how to tie straw bundles, she moved on to teach the other program guests.

When everyone heard Sang Ning was offering guidance, they approached the task with great enthusiasm. Before her arrival, they’d already faced countless setbacks and desperately needed someone to rescue them.

Everyone, except Chu Xi and Li Sulan—the mother-and-daughter duo had adopted a couldn’t-care-less attitude and made no effort to learn.

Sang Ning paid them little mind, casting just a fleeting glance before walking away.

Everyone assumed Sang Ning had finally hit a wall when dealing with Chu Xi and Li Sulan. But soon Sang Ning returned, holding a bamboo pole bound with straw bundles at each end.

Taking full advantage of her height, she pressed the pole onto Chu Xi’s shoulders and kindly said, "Since tying straw bundles is beyond you, surely you’re capable of carrying them, right? I’ve already stacked the bundles for you; now you just need to carry them along. Don’t tell me—you don’t know how to walk either?"

"Ah—" The sudden weight pressed onto Chu Xi’s shoulders caught her off guard, and she couldn’t help but groan in pain.