Race With a Heart
Chapter 124: Karl Talks About the Past

Chapter 124: Karl Talks About the Past

Karl dreamed of a hot bath now. He usually preferred a quick shower, but he felt there was so much tension in him that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of it that easily. But he was too tired even to prepare a bath.

"You’re coming back later from me today," said Anna, who entered the living room wearing a bathrobe and a towel wrapped around her head. She was checking something on her smartphone.

Anna was an exceptionally beautiful woman, and if she had not been the heiress of a fortune, she could have successfully become a model. However, since she had not only beauty but also intellect, she not only spent her father’s money, but was also able to earn it for him.

"Sorry, honey," Karl replied, taking off his jacket. "How was your day?"

Anna kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Normally," she replied. "How is Steve?"

"Everything looks fine so far. No sign of infection. The day after tomorrow he will be able to leave the hospital. "

"Do you want him to come back to the hotel?"

"Wouldn’t you have a problem with that?"

"You know I always have apartments reserved for special guests. Steve’s room is waiting for him all the time ... "

Karl smiled at his fiancée. She was a really intelligent and kind woman. He still couldn’t believe he was so lucky that she had decided to spend the rest of her life with him.

"Thank you!" he hugged her from behind, placing his chin on her shoulder. "I love you."

"I know," she admitted softly. "I love you too."

"Tolerating Steve must be hard for you," Walton noted.

"Sometimes," Anna admitted, and she slipped out of his embrace. Karl got the impression that she was dissatisfied with him for some reason.

"Did something happen?" He asked.

"What could have happened?" Anna seemed to be avoiding the subject.

"Honey ... please ..." insisted Walton. "I thought we had confidence in each other. That we trust each other."

She began to hesitate. Karl knew Anna well enough to know that she kept only secrets from him that could hurt him. What could be the secret now? Something to do with Steve?

"Is that my father?" Walton asked, almost sure of the answer. Only he could be angry enough at Karl to complain about him to his fiancée. "I’m sure it’s him. What did he say? "

"That Steve makes you lose your clarity of thought," she said.

"Nonsense," Karl grunted.

"That you do whatever Steve wants ..."

"Not everything ..." Walton felt confused. "And it’s not that Steve keeps asking me for something. But in this situation it is probably understandable that he may feel insecure and feel some anxiety ..."

"Karl, you don’t have to make excuses to me," Anna told him, but Walton could sense in her voice that she was not comfortable with the current situation after all. "I know you love him," she added, trying to hide her jealousy.

Anna didn’t mean THAT kind of love, did she? After all, they had been engaged for almost two years, they were planning a wedding next year, but if Anna is jealous of Steve, if she still has doubts, their relationship will never go well and neither Anna nor he will ever be truly happy.

Karl thought they had cleared up everything with Anna, that his fiancée had no doubts anymore, but whenever Steve demanded Walton’s special attention, Anna got jealous. She tried to be understanding, but apparently deep in her heart she still had a misunderstanding about his attitude towards Paxton.

"Yes," Karl admitted in a serious voice. "I love him, but not what you think. I don’t think romantic or erotic about him. I don’t dream about him, I don’t fantasize. I don’t want him. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him but... I want him to be happy. Yes, I want it very much. I used to be in love with him, wanted him to be my lover, but after what happened to Hannah and how Steve endured it all, I knew he would never look at me that way again. After what happened, I can be thankful to God and him for not hating me. I was as guilty as Steve, but he never blamed me. He took everything on himself and you know what happened to him ... "

Karl paused. It was not easy for him to talk about it.

"I persuaded him to try," he continued, though with difficulty because the memories were not pleasant. "I followed him, I asked us to try this experience. I was a rich, selfish bastard, and he was so damn attractive, so ... In fact, Hannah had an accident because of me, because if I hadn’t talked Steve, he would never have tried. But he never, ever, even mentioned in one word that he blamed me. He took all the guilt and suffering on himself, so both Hannah and he are on my conscience ... "

It was true, brutal and dirty, but there was no point in hiding it.

Anna didn’t react. Walton knew she was listening to him, but perhaps she was missing words. Anyway, even though she knew about his past with Steve, it surely wasn’t pleasant hearing about her fiancée seducing the guy they both met on a daily basis.

However, she should know some facts. Certain words should be said.

"I love him," Karl repeated emphatically, "but not like that. After Hannah’s accident, we couldn’t look at each other that way anymore. And we will never look at each other like that again. What I see in him is a brilliant driver and a wonderful man whose guilt and pain broke so much that for years he couldn’t think of a single good thought of himself. He was sinking deeper and deeper into nothingness and I could only watch it. So if there was anything I could do to slow him down a little, I had to do it, otherwise I would start falling myself. Steve is for me ... "

"I know," Anna replied when he broke off once again. "You do not have to tell me that. Steve will always be part of you. "

"I don’t think so," Walton announced, recalling his conversation with Paxton today. "He started to come out of the dark. And it’s not because of me. "

"Really?" Anna was surprised. "I remember shortly before Hannah died, right after we detected this incident in a hotel room, Steve came to me and announced that he wanted to change. Is he really changing? "

"Do you remember that boy in the video? Steve is seeing him."

This information frankly surprised Anna.

"Steve is dating who? And it’s with a man? Are you sure it wasn’t just a one-off adventure? "

"I’m sure," Walton confirmed. "Steve himself admitted it to me today."

"And it doesn’t bother you?" Anna asked carefully. "After all, this boy is a man, just like you, and Steve ..."

Karl knew what she meant. She was worried that he was jealous. If he is really jealous, it means that the torch of love is still burning in him and Walton’s heart cannot fully belong to her. It might never be just hers.

"It bothers me," he admitted, "but not for the reasons you think. I’m used to worrying about Steve, and I can’t help but wonder if he can really be happy with a man? Now he is fascinated, having his first love, first infatuation, but how soon will he start questioning the truth of his feelings? How quickly will he return to the self-destruction that grew so much in his heart? "

"I think you are exaggerating," said Anna. "Worry has come to you like a parasite. You want to save Steve from every mistake and from every potential suffering, but that you will never be able to do, and your excessive care will only make you take away the courage to act for himself. If Steve wants to be with a man and you say you care about him, you shouldn’t discourage him but support him. "

Walton shook his head.

"Their relationship cannot end happily."

"Why are you talking about the end?" asked Anna. "They’re just starting out. Steve’s just getting started. This is his first attempt at creating an intimate relationship with another human being in over three years. If you openly doubt the meaning of this relationship, you’ll cut its wings. Maybe Steve will be disappointed, but if he doesn’t try, he’ll never get out of the darkness he lives in. Therefore, you should support him. When Steve starts the race, he is not sure he will win either. He’s not even sure he’ll make it to the finish line, but if he doesn’t get in the car and start, he won’t win for sure. If he starts, he will at least have a chance. This boy is his starting line. Steve’s heart is battered, but he still has a chance to make it to the finish line. He has a chance to win. "