My Curse? A Different Yandere in Every Reincarnation
Chapter 146: Ideas to test

Chapter 146: Ideas to test

Near the time to leave work, I had a really crazy idea that I really want to put to the test, but before that, I’m going to apologize to Yui for my mistake, so I went to the bathroom and waited until I was completely alone.

With my feline instincts and enhanced hearing, it wasn’t too difficult to figure out when there was no one around, so it was quite brief.

As soon as I summon Yui, I look at her and she looks at me without saying anything, the silence is uncomfortable, I’d even say a little inconvenient, she just waits for me to speak without saying anything to me.

"Yui...I’m sorry for fighting with you, I was sad about Lyuei’s death and...I took out my frustration on you...but I realized that we’re also friends, I don’t see you just as something convenient that helps me."

"It was nice to spend my time with someone who won’t go crazy with love and try to kill me for ridiculous reasons," I say to her, trying to explain myself, knowing that the fault is all mine.

"..." Yui remains silent, the silence was not quite what I expected, so I decide to continue speaking.

"Yui, I...want to test two things...you don’t have to stay here and see me doing something stupid, but I really want you to understand that I see you as a friend."

"Yui, don’t be mad at me, okay? I’m human, I know I make a lot of mistakes, but hey, I’m trying my best, you know, it’s hard and confusing to have to try everything this way." My life is a mess.

"What are you going to do?" Yui finally asks me, I can’t tell if she’s angry with me or if she just wanted to hear my apologies.

"The first thing is that I’m going to try to create a Yandere, try to purposely affect the Yandere factor on someone...and the second thing...is in the next world." There are many things to see and think about.

"And I ask that you don’t get angry when I tell you what I’m going to do." There is something notable, with each world I get stronger, it’s not a big deal, but just as I speculated in the past, with each world I go to, I gain new things that I carry with me.

"Shizune, please tell me you’re not going to do something stupid...or are you?" Yui questions, floating right in front of me, and she seems to already know that I’m going to do something stupid, but she still asks, seeking confirmation.

"I’m going to kill myself, again...and again, at least 20 times, maybe less depending on my luck, which isn’t very good." Now that I have the memory valve to die, it’s less scary.

"WHAT?" Yui screams in shock.

"Yui, listen calmly before yelling at me, if you think about it, if I can get memories and useful things from 20 different worlds, I can finally make great progress."

"In this world, I’m a cat girl, and I’ve been both human and a vampire, so...isn’t there the slightest possibility that I might already be a goddess in some world?"

"Just imagine, if I’m a goddess, the progress to try to survive or become immortal will be immense."

"You said that Alehandro founded a religion for me, so nothing prevents me from being fit to be a goddess." I say, trying to think very far ahead.

"I know throwing my life away is wrong...but look at my situation? This is too unfair to me! I deserve a chance to try to get something better for myself." I say, trying to make it clear that I value my life.

But I’m willing to die if that allows me to truly advance to something good, of course as long as it’s not a brutal, slow, and agonizing death, if I have to die, it should be as peaceful and painless as possible.

"Shizune, I’ll never approve of this," Yui says angrily, as her little hand clenches tightly.

"I know, I’m not expecting your approval, I’m telling you this because I consider you my friend, it’s like when a friend tells the other that they’re going to do something stupid, but they don’t want to be stopped, they just want someone to know."

I want Yui to see that I consider her a friend, and not just a convenient thing that’s close to me to use whenever I want.

"..." Yui seems uncomfortable, it’s as if I’m saying I don’t care about her opinion, but I do, I care a lot about her opinion, but I also have my own to uphold.

"Yui, let’s do this, why don’t you teach me about love?" I say, leaving Yui confused, if you think about it, I can ask her, who is Life, to teach me about love, it’s impossible for her not to know that.

"If you can teach me what true love is, and I don’t mean love like those crazy people who want to kill me, if you can teach me what true love is, I’ll do whatever you want." It seems like a good offer to me.

"So...will you stop doing stupid things like this if I say you shouldn’t?" She asks me.

"Yes, I’ll listen to your opinions with 100% certainty if you teach me what love is." She, as Life, must know well about it, but honestly, I don’t have high hopes for that.

"Okay...you said you wouldn’t let me see what you’re going to do for now, so I believe you’re going to send me away...so our agreement will start the next time you summon me, alright?" She speaks with confidence.

"Of course, I believe you can do it..." I won’t call her for a while then, since I’ll be busy with my plan in this world, and in the next world, I’ll just kill myself in the least painful way I can.

I still don’t want to feel pain, I just want to see if in 20 worlds I’ll find something truly good for me, and I want the memories, I’m sure that the memory of 20 lives will help me tremendously.

’Ah...what irony...I who wanted so much to do everything to live and then just decide that I’m going to start killing myself...’ It’s really an unfunny irony that this seems to be my best option.

"Yui, I have to go now, so I’ll send you back, I just want you to know that I truly consider you a friend and that I’m sorry for hurting your feelings." I say to her with a small smile.

"Okay...I understand that you were frustrated, I forgive you, I can only wish you the best in your tests, but please avoid doing any harm." Yui speaks seriously.

"Yes, yes, I won’t do any harm!" I say to her as she disappears, leaving me alone. I feel better for having apologized and I know that my two plans are crazy.

But my own situation and curse are crazy, so I have to make decisions as crazy as that if I want to move forward instead of stagnating, I won’t do what Sayuri wants.

I won’t let my deaths shake me and dictate my life, getting stuck in a spiral of deaths and rebirths.

To start my test, I want to make Lykaon a Yandere, my Yanderes naturally emerge, but what will happen if I help my Yandere to emerge? That’s an interesting question.

For example, if I helped the Yandere to become a Yandere, is there a possibility that the chances of him killing me will be reduced if I’m active in it? Or can I just be accelerating my death, I don’t know.

That’s what the test is for, if helping my Yandere emerge reduces the chance of him killing me, then in all worlds I should do it, but if helping him become a Yandere accelerates my death, then it’s something to avoid.

It’s a rough and unrefined method, but it’s what I can do in my situation, as there’s some time left before my shift ends at work, I leave the bathroom and go to my office.

’Lykaon would be a strong Yandere...’ A semi-human predator type is several times stronger than a common person, Lykaon as a wolf must have the strength to crush steel doors and bend iron bars with his bare hands without any problems.

I enter my office, thinking about how I can turn him into a Yandere, the first point would be to make him fall in love with me, and the second point would be to make that love rise to dangerous levels.

’Okay...he’s not human, so I shouldn’t treat him the way I would normally...’ We are two semi-humans who don’t get along just by seeing each other.

And we already know each other today with fights, sharp-tongued remarks, and mocking each other’s races, which is complicated, this has all the potential to go wrong, and I don’t even know him well enough, all I know is that he’s arrogant and apparently a womanizer.

’I think I should use the fact that we’re both semi-humans to get something.’ It will be difficult, but if it’s to perhaps discover new things, then so be it, my life is complicated enough, so I should use it as clever cards.

When I started in the first worlds, it was humiliating, terrible, and I was practically stuck in the same place, but as I kept discovering new things, things started to improve because I changed my way of acting.

So the right answer is to obtain knowledge without stopping, and with that, maybe I can finally free myself from this damned curse.

In addition, I think I can still, with luck, add one more good thing to my soul that will help me a lot in other worlds, seeing the danger of Yanderes is actually useful, but it doesn’t help me know how, when, and where I’m going to die.

The memory valve is also useful, in fact essential for my life, without it, it would be mostly a painful hell to go to other worlds.

So a third ability like that would be really nice to have, maybe something that can be used to attack or defend myself in some way.

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