MATED TO THE SECRET ALPHA
Chapter 184: She Wasn’t Ready

Chapter 184: She Wasn’t Ready

The only sound was the frantic thudding of her heart.

Did she truly say all that?

That woman couldn’t have been her...it could have been the woman he mistook for her. Yet, why did it feel like he was telling the truth?

Why had she never liked the Moon goddess?

Everyone assumed she did. After all, she was raised to adore the Moon goddess. She was chosen to lead the worshippers in their devotion.

But deep down... Reana knew the truth. And the truth was, she could never hate anyone more than she hated the Moon goddess. Her hatred for that woman was born with her. Even before she could love anyone, or utter a word, she’d already hated the Moon goddess to the bones.

And it scared Reana, which was why she kept it hidden, locked up inside her. Deep, deep inside, that over the years, she’d successfully convinced herself that she didn’t hate the woman or like her. But the truth remained that she wished to kill that woman.

And now that Ryder had laid it bare for her, exposing her darkest secret, she felt embarrassed and ashamed.

She turned away from him, her face flushed. "You’re out of your mind. You’re–" she gasped when he turned her chin back in place.

And that gasp was all the invitation he needed.

His mouth devoured hers like it was the last source of warmth in the frozen world he’d created. His hands, once braced beside her head, now slid down her arms, pinning her wrists above her as his body pressed flush against hers. He kissed her like she was his enemy and his salvation all at once. It was raw, desperate, and angry.

Reana’s pride screamed at her to shove him off. He’d just openly said blasphemous things against the same Moon goddess she despised for no apparent reason, yet, she drew him in, wrapping her legs around his waist like she’d been waiting for this moment her entire life.

And maybe she had.

Because with every breath stolen from her lips, every ounce of pressure from his body pinning her to the bed, something unknown stirred within her. Something that wasn’t just desire, but rage. Recognition. A wild, uncontrollable hunger to defy everything she was raised to believe.

He growled against her mouth, the sound vibrating through her bones. "Say it," he demanded against her lips. "Say what you feel about her, My Luna."

Reana whimpered, biting down on the confession threatening to escape. No. No. This wasn’t her. She was Luna. She was Luna. She led prayers. She lit the sacred fires. She—

"I hate her," she breathed.

It came out so easily, so violently, it startled even her.

Ryder’s breath hitched. He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, and in his gaze, there was no mockery. Only understanding. And a frightening, dangerous kind of relief.

"That’s right," he whispered, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "If she thinks we’re wrong for hating her, then let her come down here and fix it. Unless she’s afraid of my claws digging out her divine throat."

Reana shuddered, not from fear. Hell, no. But from how right it felt.

The room was thick with silence, with shared sin and unspoken truths. Her body trembled beneath him, not from his weight, but from the weight of everything they had just said. Everything they had just become.

A Luna who cursed the goddess. An Alpha who dared her wrath.

And yet, for the first time in her life, Reana felt free. Truly free from the burden she’d buckled up since childhood. A truth she never dared to tell herself, let alone someone else.

Her hands, once pinned on the bed, found their way to Ryder’s face, and she cradled it like it was both precious and damned. "She’ll come for us," she whispered, not as a warning, but what she felt was the truth. "She won’t take this lying down."

"She’s been doing that for three lifetimes." Ryder smirked, his lips grazing hers once more. "And the game for this lifetime started from the moment I found you again."

Reana’s heart chilled and her hands trembled against his face. She knew this was where he’d tell her about the supposed lives they’ve lived before, if she asked. But she wasn’t ready to hear the full truth. She didn’t want to treat him like he was insane – like that person in her dream treated that man with red hair.

It would break Ryder, and she didn’t want to see that.

His palms covered her hands, "Do not be afraid, My Luna. In this lifetime, I won’t let her win."

His words weren’t a promise. They were a vow etched with fury, carved out of something far older than the both of them.

Reana stared into his eyes, and for a split second, she wanted to believe she was the same woman in his previous lives. So she asked, "How did she win in the first two lifetimes?"

Ryder stayed silent for a long time, as raw pain seeped into his blue eyes. His gaze darkened, and the weight of centuries seemed to bear down on him, heavy as stone. When he finally spoke, his voice was strained, like a man confessing to the very earth he’d walked on in another life.

"She tore us apart, over and over again," Ryder said, his fingers tightening around hers, as if the touch alone could ground him in this moment. "She destroyed our bond with a darkness that even time couldn’t cleanse. I couldn’t protect you then, not in the way I should have."

Reana swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted to ask more, to dig deeper into the secret he carried with him like an anchor tied to his soul, but she didn’t. Not yet. She wasn’t ready for all of that.

And also, he wasn’t ready to revisit his trauma. She could see the tremor in his jaw, the tightness in his shoulders as he battled against something far more ancient than she could understand.