Livestreaming: I am retarded, but selected to join the analoghorror game?!
Chapter 414 - 304 Strolling on the Path of Life_2

Chapter 414: Chapter 304 Strolling on the Path of Life_2

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I wanted to confirm that I still existed here," Xiao Yi said. "What people call existence is to be seen by others, to make connections with them. It is often said that a person is the sum of all social relationships, and that is probably what it means."

"It is precisely because of connections with others that people are able to live in this world. But if that connection is severed, even just a little, a person’s existence loses a part, and they die a little bit, gradually accumulating until they are completely gone."

"I was scared of that little bit, so I always avoided making connections with people. During the time you were gone, I was always alone... Because if you don’t make connections, you can’t lose them."

"But loneliness is so frightening, with no one to prove that you’re still alive, to know whether you’re still alive. One day when you really leave this world, no one would know, leaving without having had anything. When I’m alone, I can’t help but think wildly about these deep, painful things. So, I had to find a way to prove that I still existed, even when I was alone."

"Then, in a drunken haze, I saw another version of myself, probably the one who never listens to me, always opposing me, my brain, I guess? My brain, a completely different existence from me, so it could prove my existence. At the same time, it could help me bear those emotions that I wanted to forget, and... I also gave it my thinking ability that made me overthink."

"That’s why I felt happy when I was drunk, because I could be sure I was still alive. Soon, I believe, I will be able to enter that state even without drinking. Human consciousness is borne upon matter, so with some extra effort, I can change my consciousness. That way, even if I am alone... I can still survive."

"Without the ability to think, I would probably become an idiot. But that’s alright. I don’t want the life that once encountered you to just end there; I want my life to continue."

"..." Listening to Xiao Yi’s words, tears started to well up in her eyes. "You really are amazing, different from me. I still haven’t accomplished anything to this day, and I kept causing you pain, I’m sorry... I’m sorry."

"There is no need for you to apologize," Xiao Yi said, looking at her earnestly. "...Rather, I should be thanking you. Thanks to you, I have a reason to live."

"...!" She looked at Xiao Yi in astonishment.

Then, as if something came to her mind, she finally smiled for real.

"..." Seeing her smile, Xiao Yi also smiled in relief, and then began to speak slowly, "Thank you... for staying by my side when I was abandoned. Also, family connections are not made through blood... Thank you for giving me a family. And... one last thing, thank you for giving me a place to return to."

"Ah..." After saying these things, Xiao Yi let out a satisfied sound, "I finally said it. These are the words I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. I thought I wouldn’t have the chance, so I had much regret why didn’t I say them earlier? Fortunately... that regret has been mended."

"Mm..." She nodded at Xiao Yi gently, "I understand your thoughts now."

"Is that so? That’s good..."

As soon as he finished speaking, Xiao Yi closed his eyes, wrapped in satisfaction and without any regrets.

...

"...Ha!"

The next day, Xiao Yi suddenly sat up in bed!

But the surroundings were still empty, the same unchanging scene.

"...It must have been a dream, after all."

Xiao Yi got out of bed but immediately discovered that the mess he had made yesterday had vanished without a trace. He didn’t know whether someone had cleaned it up or if it never happened at all.

"Did she come? Or was it all just my dream from the start?"

Xiao Yi was unclear, but looking at the empty room, he knew he still had to live on his own from now on.

However, compared to before, something had changed—Xiao Yi’s heart wasn’t as pained as it used to be.

After that, Xiao Yi succeeded in separating his past emotions and thinking ability, living on his own, until... the day Analog Horror came.

...

"..."

Xiao Yi opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was the figure of the woman called Regret.

"Welcome back," Regret said. "How do you feel?"

"It’s like having a very long dream," Xiao Yi said. "And also, I’ve come to understand many things."

For example... why he developed such feelings for Eve when he met her in Analog Horror, calling her "Mother."

Because deep down, he had always seen the now-forgotten her as akin to his own mother.

And... the reason why he always had a flash of inspiration that helped him break through when he faced challenges in "Analog Horror" also became clear.

It was because he had regained his ability to think, and so he had the possibility to break through.

Since then, Xiao Yi would often say, "My brain and I are not the same person," which was actually a hint to himself.

If it came to a critical juncture, or when Xiao Yi himself wanted to think, his hidden thinking ability would emerge.

But none of those mattered, the only thing Xiao Yi cared about now was one thing.

So, Xiao Yi immediately asked, "...And her? Where did she go? Why isn’t she here?"

"...Calm down," Regret said, "She’s in the garden outside. As for why she hasn’t appeared before you, it’s because she hasn’t organized her thoughts yet."

...! Xiao Yi didn’t say anything more and immediately rushed out the door.

"...Go ahead." As Regret looked at his retreating figure, he smiled contentedly, "This story is about to come to an end."

Regret’s favorite thing was the stories of other people’s lives.

Even if some people’s lives might seem boring to others, without anything worthy of mention, full of whining and annoyances, they are still irreplaceable and the most precious to everyone.

...

"Eve..."

When he saw her again, she was standing alone.

"Xiao Yi..."

She looked toward Xiao Yi, her gaze somewhat evasive.

"What’s wrong?" Xiao Yi approached her and asked.

"It’s just... how should I put it." She said somewhat ashamedly, "When I think about it, I actually didn’t help you much; I’ve just been by your side. You’ve gotten this far on your own; I was of no use. Thinking about this, I didn’t know how to face you..."

"What are you talking about?" Xiao Yi laughed. "Haven’t I already said it? You being by my side, not letting me be alone, that’s already more important than anything."

"...Is it? Yes, it is." Eve let go of her worries and reached out her hand to Xiao Yi, "Then, there’s no need to waste more time here... Let’s go back."

"Okay..." Xiao Yi took her hand.

Although they didn’t have a stable place to live, Xiao Yi still understood what Eve meant by ’going back.’

The concept of home is not about the dwelling, but... wherever one is with a certain someone, that’s where home is.

He and she had set off on a journey together, witnessed the lives of various people, and then departed—departed from the lives of others to return to their own lives.

Their home was on the road where they walked. After all, isn’t everyone’s home also on the road where they walk?

So, when Eve spoke of going back to their place, even without a fixed dwelling, Xiao Yi still understood what she meant by ’place.’

It was not about stopping in their tracks, being complacent, nor about rushing forward or looking back at the footprints left behind, but simply, leisurely strolling.

Here, in this place, Xiao Yi stood on the road of his own life, thinking about this and that, gazing at the sky, and leisurely strolling.

On the road where both the starting point and the destination are loneliness, they walked side by side...

They had not reached the ending yet; this was Xiao Yi’s story so far.

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