Kitanna
Chapter 165: YIN AND YANG

Chapter 165: YIN AND YANG

[MUSIC RECOMMENDATION: LIGHT TIME ~ EDWARD MAYA, BRAHIM ASAOUB]

Kitanna sat in her bath, allowing the warm water to freshen her body while calming her soul. It was already evening, and she felt like running over to wherever Nix was. Soon the palace would be empty once again, with Larel leaving. She wished everyone would still be by her side forever, but life had to continue moving no matter what. As she was in her own thoughts, she noticed the young girl who was assisting her was also lost in her thoughts.

"Axilla... Axilla?" Kitanna tapped her, calling the girl’s attention.

"Yes... yes. Sorry, I’ll get the towel now." Axilla snapped out of her thoughts, standing up to retrieve a neatly folded towel.

"I didn’t ask for a towel; I just entered the bath now, haven’t even used the soap." Kitanna twitched her lips.

Axilla looked at her hand, then back at the princess. "I’m sorry." The young girl shook her head, her shoulders dropping tiredly.

Kitanna reached out her hands, taking the towel from Axilla. She stepped out of her bath, "Are you worried about Larel leaving tomorrow?"

"Lady Larel is leaving tomorrow?" Axilla furrowed her brows; it was news to her. Was it because of what she did in the morning? The young girl bit her lip.

Kitanna raised her brows, "You didn’t know, that means it’s not what worries you. You’ve been spacing out since today; is anything the matter? You know you can tell me anything." She tied the towel firmly on her chest, stepping inside her room which now looked empty without her husband in it.

Axilla hesitated before she followed Kitanna behind. She wasn’t sure if it was okay to tell the Queen what she had witnessed or just keep it to herself. She fidgeted with her fingers, and this didn’t go unnoticed by Kitanna.

Kitanna smiled, tilting her head to a side, "Is this about a man? Oh, I know this one, when I was your age I had a lot of men I thought I was attracted to. It happens; you just have to be careful so you don’t fall prey to irresponsible men who only want to use women as play toys." Saying this, Kitanna changed into her nightwear.

"Queen Kitanna, can I ask a question?" Axilla finally spoke, receiving a nod from Kitanna she continued.

"What is your idea of a good and bad man? I mean what does a man have to do for you to regard him as irresponsible?" The young girl asked.

Kitanna, who was now done dressing, sat on her bed with her leg crossed. She didn’t rush into her response; she hummed for a moment before she replied, "Mm let’s see, there’s a thin line between what is good and bad. Most times we don’t even see the line; we only try to judge based on how we’ve lived our life. An irresponsible man, you say? Very simple, someone who doesn’t like to take responsibility for any situation. A man who tries to survive only on his own, not minding how many legs he matched to get to the top, a man who only looks for a way to escape a situation alone." She tried to explain to the young girl.

Axilla nodded her head, "Mm ok, what about a man who uses this emm... like a man who smokes and has fun with different women, but he is very nice and takes control of every situation."

Kitanna smiled, "Every man has a way of handling their tough lives and their own demons. I won’t be the person to write off smokers; what I’m asking is this, are you in an intimate relationship with this man, and he still spends his time with other women? Then that’s where I’ll raise an eyebrow."

"Umm... no no, nothing of that nature. He’s just someone I know." Axilla replied; the idea of being in an intimate relationship with the young master briefly crossed her mind, but then she shook it off.

Kitanna shrugged her shoulder, "Ha, then why are you worried? There’s nothing going on between you and him; all he does is to have fun without forcing you to join him while still being nice to you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; it’s only unhealthy when he tries to force you into what you don’t like. Except, you have feelings for him, and you’re scared of being with someone like him."

She continued when she saw that Axilla was not saying anything. "Don’t judge people, Axilla; it’s okay to be surprised when you find yourself in a lifestyle you’re not used to. But it’s all because we are different people, different upbringing, different environment. Most persons do what they do because of the environment they grew up in or just because they want to do it. Saying that a smoker is bad, what about me? Who used to be an assassin because I was trained as one. I killed people in the past, and I’ll still do so, to protect my loved ones."

"But they were bad people, the people you killed." Axilla replied, biting her lips.

"You say so because you have decided to think it like that and because you’ve gotten to know me better, have you forgotten that those people I killed also had their own family and loved ones?." Kitanna’s mind briefly remembered Man-uel and Almaria, she continued.

"Bright flower, the yin and the yang have just this thin thread, separating them. We just believe what is right based on what doesn’t judge our own lives." Kitanna let out a yawn after her last statement. She was already feeling sleepy.

"I’m sorry for keeping you awake; please have a goodnight sleep, Queen Kitanna. Thank you for your words; they mean so much." Axilla bowed, helping Kitanna rest on her bed.

Kitanna fluffed the pillow before resting her head. "It’s okay, I’m glad I could be of help. Thank you for keeping me company; I had thought I won’t be able to sleep with Nix not here tonight but sleep came too fast, thanks to you." She smiled closing her eyes.

Axilla bowed, before stepping out of the room she snuffed out the candles closing the door behind her quietly. The young girl walked towards her room, pondering on the words Kitanna had told her. It confused her, especially everything she believed. It was wrong for a man to smoke, it was wrong for a man to engage in coitus with a woman he was not going to marry. But aside from this, the young master had always been good to her.

"Owl, what are you doing walking aimlessly this night?" Axilla sighed when she heard the annoying voice of Chantal. She didn’t stop walking, as she was not in the mood for their fight.

Chantal being persistent, ran to hold Axilla by the neck. "Are you avoiding me? Hm" he rubbed his hand on Axilla’s hair roughly.

Axilla pushed the young guard, "What are you doing Chantal!" She glared at him, not in the mood for his jokes.

Chantal noticed the girl’s countenance, he gave her a little space. "Why are you not sleeping?" He asked now walking beside her.

"I was serving Queen Kitanna." Axilla replied, "What about you?" She turned her face to look at Chantal.

"Oh, I was helping Chief Cortez move his belongings; I wonder why he left in the night." The young guard shrugged his shoulder.

He left? Axilla felt her heart squeeze tightly. Did he leave because of her? She couldn’t help but ask in her mind, feeling bad with the way she had treated him in the morning.

"Okay goodnight Axilla; you’re no fun tonight." Chantal turned to leave the passage, making way to his room.

Axilla walked back to her room feeling guilty, at the same time wondering where exactly the young master falls on. The yin or the yang?