It's Just A Picture (BL)
Chapter 68: Stay away from me

Chapter 68: Stay away from me

Seojin looked at Seojun and clicked his tongue. He wasn’t supposed to say that for Dongwoo to hear.

In fact, they had done a little bit of ’search’ since Dongwoo wouldn’t tell them anything and they wanted to know what he had gone through over the years they weren’t together.

"Seojin," Dongwoo called. "Tell me, am I overthinking it? Or did you two really...?"

"Hyung, it’s not like that." Seojin answered. "We... We were just worried about you."

Dongwoo’s eyes widened and he yelled,

"Did you or did you not see? Did you look into my past?"

They both stayed silent for a second before bowing their heads and shamefully nodding.

"Yes, Hyung."

Even if they wanted to make an excuse, even if they wanted to tell him they did it because they were concerned for him, it wouldn’t change anything. The truth is, they violated his privacy and gave him no right to choose between letting them know or keeping it to himself.

They stripped him of his right to secrecy.

Dongwoo stepped back and gagged. He covered his mouth. What was this? Why... Why did they do it? How could they?

His past was horrible. His past was...

"How much... Did you see?" He asked, raising his head to look at them. "How much of my past did you see?"

Still stricken by guilt, they couldn’t answer. They looked away, with shame and fear written on their faces. The last thing they wanted was to be hated by him but... What have they done now?

Their silence gave Dongwoo the answer and so, he proceeded to ask, "For how long?"

"A... A few days after we got here." Seojin answered and Dongwoo flinched. "Before Sungho’s incident."

Since then? In other words... They knew from the beginning.

"I... I need to go." Dongwoo said and walked past them.

"Hyung, where are you going?" Seojin asked, catching his shoulder but Dongwoo shrugged his hand off and glared at him.

"Stay away from me."

With that, he rushed out of there.

Seojun was so mad at himself for letting such information slip from his mouth that he attempted to punch the wall, but Seojin stopped him.

"Don’t do it." He said. "We have a shoot this afternoon. You can’t scar your body."

Seojun gritted his teeth and clenched his fist.

"I know." He said, but he still planned on punching the wall anyway.

Seojin stared in the direction Dongwoo had run into and looked at his hand.

What he saw just now... It wasn’t a glare like one would do when angry or pissed off. Rather... He folded his palm into a fist... It was fear.

Why though? Why was he so scared? What was he scared of?

The things they found out about Dongwoo were terrible, and the people in his life who wanted to be his companion and lover were all garbage. That wasn’t his fault so why was he scared?

Little did he know that the way they viewed the situation was far different from how the person who had suffered it all viewed it.

Dongwoo ran like his life depended on it and at a back alley, where no one could see him, he threw up. Since he had only pasta in his stomach, that was the only that came out of his mouth.

"Kegh. Cough!" He coughed and raised his head, showing the tears that had flooded his face.

He was crying so hard that he wished, more than anything, that no one would pass by the alley.

’Of all things, of all things, why did they have to look into my past.’ he cried.

Yes, the thing he was scared of the most was them finding out that he was a person who had been abandoned more than once because of the way he was.

Because of the trauma that plagued his body, he couldn’t even have sex.

’Did they find out about that too? That although I’m gay, I can’t even take it from behind no matter how hard I try? And that I shake in fear when they start touching me? Did they find that out too?’ he gagged and threw up once more; this time, only liquid gushed out of his mouth as he no longer had any food in his system.

This was the worst. His worst fear had come to pass.

For so long they knew he was an incompetent gay freak.

For so long...

"Huk! Why? Why did they have to see it? Why?" He cried.

Seojin and Seojun, standing on the other side of the wall, heard his cries and the sadness in his shaky voice as he lamented.

It made them feel terrible and they didn’t want to hear any more of it.

Seojun wanted to go in and try to console Dongwoo but Seojin held him back. In a state like this, there was no way to talk to Dongwoo that he would understand. It would only hurt him more and cause more misunderstanding.

They had to wait till he calmed down at least. Calm enough to reason properly.

All they could do at that point was listen to his cries, bear with it, and let it remind them never to speak without first considering the kind of person Dongwoo Hyung was.

The kind of person they wanted to protect and be with.

’I feel like shit.’ Seojun thought, bowing his head to hide the frustration on his face. ’Why did I have to speak out of turn?’

’I never thought I would one day make Hyung cry the way he’s crying now.’ Seojin thought and clicked his tongue. ’I’ll make up for it. For these tears, I’ll make sure to love him with all I have.’

It took a while before Dongwoo could calm himself down. He looked terrible after crying his eyes out and throwing up completely everything in his stomach.

Then, he got a call from Taiha and his eyes widened, seeing the time. He quickly picked up the phone.

"Yes, Sunbae-nim. Yeah, I’ll be on my way now."

"Are you okay? Your voice sounds cracked." Taiha said over the phone.

"I’m alright." Dongwoo said. "It seems I’m coming down with a cough, nothing big."

"Alright. Make sure to take some medicine so it doesn’t get worse, okay?"

"Yes, Sunbae-nim." Dongwoo said and cut the call. He touched his throat and sighed.

He cried so much that his throat felt sore.

’I’m thankful no one was here to hear me. It would’ve been very embarrassing.’ he thought to himself and looked up a the sky.

He started heading on his way.

’I felt so upset and sad after knowing that my past had been seen by the twins, but now that I think about it, nothing changed. They knew about my past but didn’t act strangely. They weren’t disgusted or weirded out. They were completely normal.’

He stopped walking.

’If anything, they only got clingy.’