It's Just A Picture (BL)
Chapter 344: Well, it’s not that I hate it

Chapter 344: Well, it’s not that I hate it

Dongwoo said good night to the twins one more time before leaving for his apartment.

Of course, they didn’t want to let him go but Dongwoo was adamant. He wanted to be with Minwoo for the night and hoped they could talk about his decision, which Dongwoo kept interpreting as a reckless stunt.

"Minwoo?" Dongwoo called as he closed the door.

"In the kitchen." Minwoo answered and Dongwoo walked towards the kitchen to find Minwoo whipping up fried eggs and toasting bread.

It’s not something you see someone doing in the middle of the night, but alright.

"Are you hungry?" Dongwoo asked. "Did you not get to eat before everything?"

"I didn’t." Minwoo said. "But I’m not hungry either." He glanced away from the pan and smiled at Dongwoo. "This is yours."

"Hm? Mine? Why?" Dongwoo asked, taking a seat by the cabinet.

"You said you went after me before the food arrived in the diner you were supposed to eat at. So, I guessed you hadn’t eaten anything. And I don’t want you to sleep on an empty stomach because of me." He turned off the gas cooker and smiled faintly at him. "Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever cooked for you, so take this as me trying to cook for my brother for the first time in our lives."

Dongwoo stifled a laugh.

"Pft! You call fried eggs and toast cooking?" He asked and laughed while Minwoo shrugged.

"What? It was the quickest thing I could whip up in a minute. I’m not that fast in the kitchen." He said and laughed along with Dongwoo.

"Yeah, right. You could’ve just processed the oatmeal in the fridge and that would’ve worked fine." Dongwoo said, causing Minwoo to open his mouth in disbelief.

"You eat oatmeal?" He opened the fridge. "I would’ve never guessed. And I wasn’t able to look through your fridge so I didn’t see it either."

Dongwoo brushed the back of his neck.

"Well, Seojin introduced me to it. It’s really good." He said, and Minwoo’s smile slowly faded, his gaze falling to the floor.

"Right."

The twins were there for him. So, of course, he had tried oatmeal.

"Minwoo," Dongwoo called but Minwoo kept his gaze down. "Lee Dongwoo," he called and Minwoo’s eyes widened. He looked up to find Dongwoo staring worriedly at him. "What is this?"

Minwoo went silent, pursing his lips and then he looked away. He knew what Dongwoo was asking but he still couldn’t bring himself to explain.

"The egg’s getting cold, Hyung. You better eat it while it’s hot." He said and went ahead to put them on a plate, as well as the toasted bread while pouring syrup around the plate.

"Oh, I... I don’t eat my toast with syrup." Dongwoo said and Minwoo paused. He clenched his teeth and tried to act like he was okay.

"Right. My mistake. I just thought you would like it with syrup just as I did." His voice sounded heavy like there was a lump in his chest that was blocking the flow of his words through his throat.

It gave Dongwoo mixed feelings and he felt Minwoo was not okay.

"Well, it’s not that I hate it." He said, taking the plate from Minwoo. "I just never tried it that way. I’m sure it’ll be just as great." He smiled but this did not make Minwoo feel any better.

"If you can’t eat it like that, you don’t have to force yourself." Minwoo said.

"No, no. It’s fine." Dongwoo said, picking up the fork to eat it regardless.

"No, it’s not." Minwoo said. "I was the one who misunderstood that just because we’re twins we would have similar taste."

Dongwoo frowned and slammed the fork on the cabinet table, startling Minwoo.

"Lee Dongwoo, come sit down for a moment." Dongwoo said and Minwoo did just that without any complaints.

He felt Dongwoo was angry. But that was what he was expecting. He didn’t know why Dongwoo was trying to act like everything was fine and that what he did was okay.

He knew his actions were reckless, so he did not want to get caught until he found a way to solve the problem. But then he got caught. He expected Dongwoo to be mad at him.

Scold his reckless actions and reprimand him.

Dongwoo acting like everything was okay made Minwoo feel that everything was not okay

"Is there something you’re not okay with?" Dongwoo asked. "Is it because you don’t know my likes and dislikes, is that why you’re acting like a suckup right now?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about." Minwoo said, throwing his gaze away.

"Oh, is that how you’re going to do it?" Dongwoo looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed and his voice hitching with a certain irritation. "Then will you know what I’m talking about if I start asking questions about why you acted on your own, went to that dangerous man and traded your body for a moment of peace? Will you know then?"

Minwoo clenched his fists and pursed his lips.

"I did not want to bring this particular topic up, Minwoo. I did not want to ask you why you did it because it’s as clear as day why you acted like that, but it seems you want me to. You want me to be harsh. You want me to question you on your reasons, as though there is any hidden truth behind it. So I’m going to do it. Lee Dongwoo, why did you go to that man and sleep with him in the first place?"

Dongwoo sounded so irritated that he did not know when words that he did not intend to let out spilled out of his lips.

"Was it really because you wanted to help me? Because you wanted to keep me safe or... Are you just going to say you found a handsome guy who had a big libido and wanted to feed your lust while using me as your excuse to do so? Is that the excuse you’re going to make?"

Minwoo snapped and he looked up at Dongwoo in disbelief, his eyes flickering without a word. Why would... Why would Dongwoo think that he went to Alejandro because he was looking for a sex partner?

"Ah," he slowly lowered his head and folded his arms, his fingers clutching his arms tightly. He must’ve thought he went there to slut his way like he usually did.

But he didn’t. He just wanted to...

Dongwoo quickly realized what he had said and shut his eyes tight in regret.

"Minwoo, forget what I said." He said, but the damage has already been done. "I know you didn’t have such thoughts when you went to Alejandro; it was a slip of the tongue, so pretend I didn’t say that because I know you have feelings for Sungho, so you wouldn’t do that to him or yourself. It’s just... I can’t seem to understand you sometimes."

"You can’t... understand me?" Minwoo asked, confused and Dongwoo nodded.

"Yes, I can’t understand you. It’s like you’re trying to draw near me but at the same time, you start pushing yourself away using our differences as an excuse."

Minwoo went silent. He gritted his teeth, his eyes growing teary and he scoffed.

"Let me tell you why I went there." He said, "I didn’t go there because I wanted to get a taste of anything. I was disgusted, even. Every minute with that man was torture. I felt nothing in my heart, and I was not supposed to feel it in my body either, but... my body betrayed me, and I felt utterly ashamed. I felt so disgusted at my own body that I dreaded going back to feel something from a man like him. So, you could say my body wanted what my mind and heart didn’t want. So, maybe that’s why I actually went there. I didn’t know until I tasted it." He laughed hysterically but Dongwoo frowned.

"Don’t say it like that." Dongwoo said and bit his lip, gradually feeling guilty for his words as he watched tears whelm up in Minwoo’s eyes. "I know that’s not why you went there." And even if his body enjoyed the pleasure, that was not him.

It wasn’t his fault that his body got excited to a man’s touch, whoever it was. So, he wouldn’t judge based on what happened after and consider Minwoo’s thoughts when he made such a deal.

Minwoo took one long look at Dongwoo, his tears finally falling but he cleaned it right away and said,

"You’re right." He looked away. "I went there because I wanted to protect you. I didn’t want to always be that one brother who caused trouble and ended up waiting for you to fix the mess. I... Wanted to help you too. I wanted to do something for you. I wanted to protect you, just as you’ve always protected me." His tears flowed down and he bowed his head.

He took off his glasses, placed them on the table, and said,

"But I guess even that was reckless of me. I ended up creating another problem. You... " He looked at his shaking hands. "You almost got shot because of me. Because of me..." His voice shook and his lips quivered. "How come everything I do, everything I do to help you ends up putting you in trouble?" He cried. "How come I can never help you?" He looked up, pressing his lips together. "Even the dumb egg and bread, I couldn’t do that right. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, Hyung. I’m just so useless that I feel you’ll throw me away. You’ll see me as a burden and hate me. I don’t... Ngh, I don’t want you to throw me away." He cried.

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