It's Just A Picture (BL)
Chapter 160: Why did his smile look so sad?

Chapter 160: Why did his smile look so sad?

Dongwoo wanted to comfort them through sex but knew that if they got to do it right away, he would never get the chance to finally confess.

But it looked like the twins had lost interest in finding out what was troubling him.

It seemed like they were still hung up on the image of him hyperventilating. They didn’t want to experience such a thing again, and if it meant they wouldn’t hear of Dongwoo’s worries, then so be it.

But Dongwoo wanted to tell them. Now that he had summoned the courage, he wanted them to hear it from his mouth rather than notice it in his behavior.

God knows how they would react once he told them but it would definitely be worse if they were to find out on their own, right? It was like he didn’t want their progress.

"Are you sure about this, Hyung?" Seojin asked and Dongwoo nodded.

"Yes, but that aside," he turned to Seojun. "How are you feeling? You’re not getting any headaches, are you? It looked like you cried a lot."

Seojun blushed in embarrassment. To think he would cry like that.

But he couldn’t help it. The guilt and pain ripped his heart, and the tears kept flowing down on their own. He would never do that again. He would never look at Dongwoo with those eyes ever again.

"I’m fine," he said and Dongwoo smiled.

"That’s good to hear. I was worried after waking up to see your face flooded like that." He said, and Seojun buried his head in a pillow, ashamed.

"Don’t mind him, Hyung. He’s just embarrassed because this is the first time he’s cried like that since we were kids. And both times were because of you." Seojin said.

"Hm? He cried because of me before? When?"

Seojin suddenly smiled stiffly. There was a trace of sadness in his smile as he said,

"When we got taken away from Hyung." He said, and a soft exclamation escaped Dongwoo’s lips.

"Oh!"

Both of them cried and screamed, not wanting to leave, but Seojun, in particular, was very loud and crazy about it.

He cried. He locked himself in his room and cried, refusing to let anyone see his weak side.

"And what about you?" Dongwoo asked. "Did you cry?"

"Are you asking if I cried back then or if I cried this time?" He asked and Dongwoo answered in a little eager tone.

"Both." He looked straight into Seojin’s eyes. "Have you ever cried so sadly because of me? Has your heart ever broken with the thought of never seeing me again?"

Seojin went silent. He did not answer right away and turned his head aside.

"Yes, Hyung. Yes." He answered. "I’ve cried for you so many times that I’ve lost count. When we were separated as kids, it was all I ever did when I wasn’t breaking things and demanding to be sent back. I couldn’t sleep properly knowing I would or may never see you again. It was painful."

Dongwoo felt a lump in his throat and he swallowed.

"And then, watching you hyperventilate, the thought of losing you a second time, and not being able to do anything, tore my heart to shreds that I cried, Hyung. I cried for you." He said with a smile but even that smile broke Dongwoo’s heart.

Why did his smile look so sad?

He cleaned his eyes before the tears got the chance to form and reached out his hand to hold Seojin’s face. He brought his own face closer and softly kissed his lips.

"I’m sorry, for always causing you pain." He said, dropping his head on his. "I want to be someone who will never give you pain again. I... Want to be your pillar of strength, just as you’ve always been my pillar of strength." He smiled.

"You don’t need to try." Seojun said and they both turned to him. "You’ve always been our pillar of strength. And nothing’s going to change that."

"Is that so?" They nodded and he dropped his gaze as guilt pricked his conscience. "I don’t know if you’ll still say that once you know what I’ve had in my mind all along. My selfish thoughts, I mean."

"Then, I believe we’ll be the judge of that."

They waited for him and he nodded.

"Yes, please be the judge."

He didn’t want them to hate him because of the thoughts he was harboring in his mind, but he was more scared of them leaving him just because he kept keeping it all to himself.

"Wait, Hyung," Seojun said and Dongwoo paused. "What you’re about to tell us, the thoughts you were referring to, does it involve you trying to cheat?" He asked, and Dongwoo blinked, confused.

Where did that come from?

"Right, Hyung." Seojin nodded. "If it has to do with thoughts of cheating, we might get slightly mad at first so tell us, does it have to do with that? That’s the only awful thing our mind can come up with right now."

Dongwoo immediately shook his head, waving his hand frantically in his defense.

"No, absolutely not. I have no thoughts of that whatsoever. You two are the only ones for me I would never think of cheating."

Hearing him profess that in the heat of the moment assured the twins while Dongwoo blushed. Ah, he did not plan to say such a cringe thing out of nowhere.

"Alright, then." They sat back, relaxed. "I know Hyung is not such a person but I just needed to be sure."

"Tut, I should be the one worried about you cheating because you’re so famous now." He said through pouted lips and the twins smiled.

"That would never happen, Hyung. You’re the one for us, no one can replace you." Seojin said, and Dongwoo’s heart skipped a beat.

But it soon calmed down as he remembered what he was going to disclose to them.

"I... Have selfish thoughts." He began and the twins paid keen attention to him. "They are awful and extremely selfish. Thoughts that make me wish you two would never get famous and..." He fiddled with his fingers. "And spend more time with me instead."

He waited to hear their response but surprisingly, they were calm. But what was even more surprising was the fact that they were still waiting for him to say what the ’awful’ thoughts were.

"Is that it?" Seojun asked.

"What?"

"Hyung, what you just said, is that the ’awful’ and selfish thought that has been disturbing your mind all this time?"

"Yes?"

The twins bowed their heads for a minute, not knowing how to take that news. What did he mean by ’selfish and awful’ thoughts? Wasn’t that a normal thought? They thought it would be something bigger, but it was just that?

And to think he has been worked up for so long because of that?

"Hyung, come closer for a minute." Seojun said, and Dongwoo crawled towards him. "I’m going to share with you some of my ’selfish and awful’ thoughts, according to your standards."

He grinned lustfully as he whispered in Dongwoo’s ear and Dongwoo’s face immediately turned red.

"Wah!" He moved back, covering his ear with his face flushing as red as a tomato. "T-th-that... Those are just naughty thoughts." He stuttered and couldn’t stop blushig. "Those aren’t selfish thoughts, they’re just naughty thoughts."

"And they can also be classified as ’awful and selfish’ to some extent because it’s what interests me and I may not have your best interest at heart." He said and folded his legs, grinning at him. "So, how’s that? Do you think those thoughts are enough to hate me?" He asked but Dongwoo shook his head. "Exactly. That is exactly how we feel about what you said."

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