I am chasing a rough man in the 80s
Chapter 666 The Coward Is Afraid of Even Happiness

Chapter 666: Chapter 666 The Coward Is Afraid of Even Happiness

"To ensure my father has no regrets, that Jingting and I have no regrets, and to silence the gossips, this is a venture that reaps more benefits than harm. Why shouldn’t we do it?"

Translated, it means we all think it’s a good idea and your opinions can be reserved.

Chen Lijun was so irritated by Suizi’s words that she turned to leave.

"What is a family? A lifeless house? People who gather to eat together? There are many that fit these criteria, but why are we the only family?"

Suizi’s words made Lijun pause.

"Because we are a whole! Mom, as an individual within this whole, you’re pursuing independence and individuality too much."

"...Are you lecturing me about Philosophy?!"

"Excessive individualism harms both you and the whole family."

"I’m not interested in these formalities, are you giving me a value assessment?!"

"It’s not about valuing or not valuing, what are you trying to escape from? What are you afraid of?"

The words from her daughter hit Lijun hard, piercing her heart right into the part she was least willing to reveal.

"What should I fear?"

"If you have nothing to fear, then go now. The man you were meant to spend the rest of your life with is waiting. How can you bear to abandon him?

He went through so much to marry you, and you let him down time and time again simply because you cared too much about insignificant opinions from others.

Your seemingly moderate choices are in fact acts of a coward. Mom, what kind of teachings are these?"

Suizi finished saying all of this in one breath. These thoughts had been bottled up inside her for too long.

As the words flowed out, so did her control over her emotions. She pushed away the handkerchief that Jingting handed her and didn’t even notice her own tear-stained face.

"When I was young, I always thought that my mother didn’t like me. You thought I was timid, cowardly. You wished I could be like you, boldly facing everything and everyone, fearless in battling the universe, the earth, and the people. But I’ve never been able to fully live up to that."

"You seem quite powerful when you’re arguing with me."

"If I were truly arguing with you, I wouldn’t pour my heart out to you like this. I used to be a person who liked to evade problems. When I sensed that something might lead to a negative outcome, my first instinct was to run. I have always wondered why I have such a personality."

In her past life, Suizi was a classic example of the avoidant personality.

When she misjudged Jingting as a threat to her, she ran without a second thought.

That danger stemmed not only from her fear of him but also from her fear of love.

It took Suizi a long time, with the help of a psychologist to understand why she ran away from her marriage in her previous life.

"When I first got married, I was always thinking about leaving Jingting, not because I didn’t understand him, but because I was too eager for happiness, so I wanted to escape."

Even happiness can be terrifying to a coward.

Jingting comforted her as onlookers started to gather.

The three of them stood around a corner at the entrance, attracting many passers-by.

Suizi waved him off. She was determined to speak her mind today. After today, she might not have the courage anymore.

"You know why I’m timid? You often told me when I was young, had it not been for me, you wouldn’t have married a loser.

Again and again, you told me that if it hadn’t been for me, your life would not be like this!

From when I was very young, you kept implying to me that I am unworthy, that I do not deserve all the goodness in this world."

"How could you think this way?!" Lijun’s heart shattered listening to these words.

"Let me finish!

You always hoped that I could grow up to be as strong as you. You tried to nurture me, you tried to toughen me up, but I am not you!

Whenever I was bullied at school and came back crying, I found no comfort in you; instead, I received a scolding."

Why didn’t you fight back? Why didn’t you argue back?

Over time, such responses felt like secondary injuries, which discouraged me from sharing similar incidents when they occurred.

No matter how hard Suizi tried, she could never meet her mother’s expectations. due to her inherent personality, she was never going to be like Jingting, saying whatever she wants, and acting however she pleases.

"You’re wrong about Mom here. Every time you were bullied, she did stand up for you. When I pulled your plaits, she waited for me on my way home from school and even threw stones at me."

Jingting was worried that mother and daughter really would start arguing.

"Jingting, I’m not finished speaking.

Each of us views the world from a different perspective. From my perspective as a young child, having never experienced intimate relationships, without any recognition from my mother, I felt I had no support and that I was useless.

The world seemed so dangerous to me. Whenever I encountered a problem, I just wanted to hide away. I had no desire to solve it."

In her past life, once she realized that she might have feelings for Jingting and that losing his child might make him despise her, she didn’t want to see his disgusted look, so she ran away, even fabricating a lie that she was afraid of him to deceive herself.

Lijun’s lips were tightly closed, her eyes welling up. Never had this proud woman felt so wretched about her life.

"All these years, you’ve been hating me?! Fine, you can hate me if you wish."

Lijun had no desire to stay any longer, for each additional word she heard was another shatter of her heart.

"I don’t hate you. What I see in the world is incomplete.

My mother would do a lot of things for me behind my back. She once risked her life and gambled away her happiness, carrying me into this world despite all odds.

She diligently nurtured me, giving me everything she could, and despite how her methods might not have suited me, who could say they would do better if they were in her shoes?"

Suizi understood her mother’s background, which in turn revealed the code to her own personality.

Her twisted grandfather never gave her mother any positive emotional support from a young age, as such, she, the strong elder daughter, developed such a twisted personality.

Her twisted personality, when facing her own daughter, naturally evolved into a sense of stringent expectation.

Lijun had suffered too many hardships, and consequently did not want Suizi to suffer the same. Hence, she strived to make Suizi independent, but the more she did so, the more timid Suizi became.

Everyone has their first life; no one is born a mother.

Those who blame their mothers for not doing a good enough job eventually realize when they reach middle age that they aren’t doing much better than their parents either.

Most people end up becoming the person they despise the most. Destiny is like a magnet-filled cycle, no matter how much you resist, no matter how far you flee, it draws you back and sticks you onto it.

With a lifetime of experience, Suizi was able to break free from the cycle and discover the key to happiness.

"You’re not a perfect person, you have many character flaws, but I am not perfect either, I have many shortcomings. You didn’t abandon me, you didn’t regret bringing me into this world, so I won’t abandon you either.

I don’t want to watch you evade happiness like I used to. I am not afraid to express love, I am not afraid to tell the world that I am capable of treating my parents well because my mother is worth it."

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