Dungeon? This Tree? Why Don't You Join Me for Lunch? (Dungeon Core)
Chapter 97: No Child Support! No More Taxes!

Chapter 97: Chapter 97: No Child Support! No More Taxes!

I was growing tired of having to pay taxes, darn it! And... Belladonna was now asking for child support! What is worse, I thought back then that Solas might grant her request!

He was a git like that!

But I was not going to have any of that! No more taxes! No more child support!

The only thing I wanted was to feed Brandon more grilled shark.

"No! I can’t eat another bite!" Strange, why was he yelling. Huh, I should give him the prompt, right? To ask him what he was seeing.

"Look here you! I need mana!" Belladonna was holding a piece of grilled shark before Brandon’s closed lips. He was still as healthy as ever, not a speck of fat on his face.

But, darn, did he look like how I wished my sons would look after they left the table?

It was my cooking which had brought the dragon to this point! But it was Belladonna who had made it all possible!

Darn it! She was stealing my favorite child.

"Solas and I are going inside the World Dungeon, dad," as much as I found joy in Pan calling me dad, I still thought that he should leave it all to me!

The darn witch looked about as thin as a twig! She wanted a diet, and I, may lightning strike me, provided!

And now...

"No! No one is coming to my dungeon!" Huh, why was she listening in? Didn’t she know that we were never, ever, going to give up?

Until she paid for...

I gulped. I didn’t want to think about it that way. Pan was not the product of that, surely.

"Of course, he’s not!" Belladonna snapped, as she began to tug at her short hair. Before I knew it, she was right there, in my tree!

"I am the World System, Sylvan! You were a dungeon core since birth! Just like your mother!" She made a threatening step towards me, looking livelier than I had ever seen her.

Had I... with her? I did get drunk a lot during my younger years.

"And you, dearest Sylvan, kept on sending me system prompts that you wanted a child!"

Oh... she mistook the whole shrub planting for system prompts?

Ah... sucks to be me.

"And now, you are waging a war against me? Why? You empty-headed son of a...!" She slapped me. I didn’t even feel it.

"And now," she was going to be the death of me. I was going to let it happen. "Just know this: Pan Fireshield is not my son. He is a product of my mana, but I sure as hell didn’t give birth to him. He is not your son either, you idiot! Just because your mother decided that all of her mobs should be her children, it doesn’t make it so! Dungeon core can’t have children!"

She screamed into my face, spittle flying all over it.

But... if dungeon cores couldn’t have children, then did that mean that... I was a mob?

"Look, it is complicated," Belladonna said finally as she eyed the glowing golden mushrooms. "I fancy Lexus, not you. But I can take the no for what it is."

I was pretty sure that she was not willing to but trying to be.

"And one more thing:"

She helped herself to the healing mushroom soup. Soon, she was a striking young thing with flowing dark hair which fell around her in soft curls.

"Heal the world, dummy! That’s what you are good at!"

She showed me the tourists who were still there, where I had left them. Still in the Cave of Sin. Still trying to scratch a living.

"So... the war is over?" But I had to ask. Because I was me, and she was herself.

"Yes! The war is over!" She yelled, as she disappeared. I could sense Lexus’ interest, but so could she.

That girl made me proud to have shared mana with her, when she gave him a swift kick out of his tree and replanted him into a shrub!

Way to go, girl! Tell that sucker that if he doesn’t like the zombie you, he doesn’t deserve the pretty you!

I got a system screen with one big fat middle finger for that one. I guess that I had even deserved it.

But no matter! That wasn’t important at all! The important thing was that the war was over!

So... the question now was: when did we get Brandon and Doran back?

"That dragon stays," Belladonna snapped, as she made it so, that a desert turned into a forest. "I need him!"

"No!" I yelled back. Ok, she had not done the r word, for which I was grateful, but that didn’t mean that she was not keeping Brandon and Doran hostage!

"We’ll find a way out," Brandon sounded almost...fond. "That lady does good work."

"Are you really going to let her suck your mana dry?" That was Doran! Hey... his voice didn’t sound raspy!

"No, we are going to find the exit," Brandon told me, as he yawned. "Dungeon delving, just like the kids. But for now, I think I’ll rest with my treasures."

I heard as Doran sucked in a breath. As Belladonna chuckled and let Pan and Solas to the exact point where the other two were.

Huh... she had it in her to be nice, it seemed.

"Just cook," Brandon told me, I could hear as he took another shark steak.

"Just make people happy," Solas piped in, his mouth full. But I had fed him and his army for months. I knew how to understand him by now.

"Just make your husbands happy," that was Doran, who had probably told himself that time and time again.

To no avail.

"But above it all," my son, my firstborn, the reason why Morty broke off the communication screens these days, said, "Be happy, dad."

"Because nothing is going to harm you, asshat!" Belladonna finished.

Leaving me confused.

Now that no one was asking me to feed them, what was I going to...

"Sylvan! I need more snacks!" Ah, Telets. My dear, bottomless pit of a grandson.

Grandpapa is going to fatten you up, just you wait!

Ah, kids. Such sunshine! Always hungry!

The joy of every Foodie Nymph!

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