Dungeon? This Tree? Why Don't You Join Me for Lunch? (Dungeon Core) -
Chapter 107: Toll Road!
Chapter 107: Chapter 107: Toll Road!
There were many things that one might think were not something one would consider during a vacation.
For all that my child, my eldest, was now in a predicament, I decided to keep out of it. Not because I was a bad father, but because Pan had to learn how to say no.
Something I was going to learn during that trip.
We weren’t even out of the Forest of Forget-Me-Nots when the goblins attacked!
"No, you haven’t paid taxes. The forest is ours, now," one of the goblins said so as if he knew what he was talking about!
What did he mean I hadn’t paid my taxes? I had! I have done it so many times, calculating, filling out the forms, then giving them over to Nick, then...
Oh...
I forgot to send them!
And it was one week after the tax collecting was over with!
But... but... the money is in Solas’ treasury, darn it!
"Ok, there is a bit of a misunderstanding, I have to admit," I told the goblin. Honestly, why did Solas have to employ goblins as tax collectors?
Were the debtor’s jails really so important to him? Did he really get his entire army from there, and nowhere else?
Did he?
Who voted for that blonde git!
"Sylvan," Titan had the audacity to purr out my name, as I was considering leading a mass protest against someone who had no business ruling! "No one votes for kings. Besides, Telets, your grandson, is the new king now."
Why was he stressing out that my grandson was the king? What did it matter?
I was going to tug Telets’ ear off if he didn’t stop it with the goblin tax collectors!
"The toll road belongs to me!" I yelled. "And the fact that the traders are moving on it is me paying the taxes!"
There was a hush in the clearing. Then one of the goblins scratched himself behind the head.
"Well," he said, as he began to take out a folded piece of parchment. "I don’t have any idea who made you our boss, but you have to pay your taxes. Don’t you know that Solaria offers free education to children?"
"Well, that is nice of Solas," I honestly wasn’t ready to consider Telets a king. Sure, his father had pranced off into the sunset, so he could do what he wanted to in the world, but that didn’t mean that the boy was the real king now.
"Yes, and who do you think pays for it?" the goblin asked so, as if I were slow!
"Well..." I began, only to hear a snap.
One of the goblins just broke his staff in two!
"No! This country is lawless," that was the strangest thing I had ever heard a goblin say, not gonna lie. "No one pays their taxes; everyone goes to debtor’s jail! Not to mention that the people who want to pay their taxes can’t! The bloody laws are too confusing!"
Well...
That was about right.
"And," I smiled, as I used the momentum of this goblin to propel myself to new highs of being a con.
Only to prove that I was a drake.
"I bet that we could just sell some farmland, and then..."
It was with good intentions. How was I supposed to know that these goblins actually cared about Solaria?
I mean, those were goblins. Most of the time, they were about as kind as one could expect a bloodthirsty organ harvester to be.
But they were more than that. They were Solas’ private goblin tribe.
"You are the former king’s father-in-law!" Ah, someone must have made Pan’s parentage public knowledge.
Which I didn’t find worrying, at the start. After all, Pan was a good kid.
Even if, currently, he was trying to escape being divorced from Brandon and being married to King Nicodemus of Briar, who was a troll.
A gigantic one.
I really felt like a deadbeat dad for leaving Pan like that. But honestly, I had a harem. He had a harem. What was one more?
"That type of thinking got you with more men than you can cook for," Titan teased. I nodded. Yes, my fate was a sad one.
"Look, I know that we can’t afford to lose land, but how about I raise the funds for the fine?" Because no matter how much money the tourists were paying me, I still couldn’t pay the fine Solas had set in place.
And Telets, bless his soul, was too busy getting the adventurer’s guild in order and being ruled by the advisors Solas left him.
That Solas. Even when he is not in the picture, he is still a git!
"You would like to cook for us? With the special mushrooms?" The goblin who spoke was missing a hand.
Now, I had no idea if the mushrooms could work such a miracle, but they had done a good job, so far!
"Yes! Just let us pass, and I will visit the capital, and speak with my grandson myself!" I told them because I felt that they were a cute bunch.
There was nothing that some mashed potatoes with green onions couldn’t fix.
Even a bribe like that was still a bribe, however.
"We will escort you to Telets Fireshield," the goblin was still a goblin in nature.
Ah, to visit the Sun’s Ray. The capital of Solaria!
I’ve always wanted to, but the whole the king wants nymph’s organs made it impossible!
"I will visit the Fountain of Youth first!" I was already preparing for some good, old-fashioned sightseeing!
"No," but the goblin, who was yet to introduce himself, had other plans. "You will visit the king. You will explain to him that you don’t care about his people! Or him! That you want the children of the kingdom to starve and receive no free education or medicine! Because you, sir, refuse to pay your taxes!"
"But I paid!" I exclaimed. Then, I let out a sigh. "I just didn’t send off the forms..."
"That’s the same thing," that goblin knew no mercy...
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