Divine Lucky Star
Chapter 328 - Chapter 328 Chapter 328 Brother Hao Gets Used to Saying It

Chapter 328: Chapter 328: Brother Hao Gets Used to Saying It Chapter 328: Chapter 328: Brother Hao Gets Used to Saying It “Alright, listen up, ha,” Wang Hao began, “We have steamed lamb, steamed bear’s paws, steamed deer tails, roasted flower ducks, roasted chicks, roasted goslings…”

Everyone: “…”

Wang Hao: “Stir-fried fish maw, stir-fried fish slices, vinegar stir-fried pork slices, braised three delicacies, braised white mushrooms, braised pigeon eggs…”

Everyone: “…”

Wang Hao: “Red meatballs, white meatballs, pan-fried meatballs, four-happiness meatballs, three-delicacies meatballs, boiled meatballs, fresh shrimp meatballs…”

Everyone: “…”

Wang Hao: “Roasted liver tips, roasted intestines, roasted hearts, roasted lungs, roasted amethyst caps, roasted connected platters, roasted precious caps…”

Everyone: “…”

Wang Hao: “Braised sauerkraut, braised cabbage, braised peas, stewed flat beans, boiled green soybeans, fried cowpeas, plus pickled turnip strips–how about that! Professional or not?” Holy shit, he actually recited that whole long list! Badass!

After his body transformation, of course, his memory needed no mention, and his articulation had greatly improved; his enunciation was clear, badass in every aspect. Although the music in the bar was loud, everyone could hear him clearly and he didn’t miss a beat; his basic skills were actually more professional than the professionals!

Everyone around was dumbfounded!

All their mouths were shaped like an “O,” faces filled with disbelief!

Liu Huaqiang broke into a cold sweat–good gracious, it seems he had been merciful before! Otherwise, with just that glib tongue, his own young master would have had nothing to do here!

“My God, I’m really impressed with you, Brother Hao!” Yue Peng immediately knelt down: “I’ve studied crosstalk for four years and still can’t recite that passage. Brother Hao, how did you train?! Teach me!”

“How about it, am I up to snuff to cover a show for you tomorrow?” Wang Hao said with a grin: “Good enough, right?”

“Definitely good enough!” Yue Peng said excitedly: “With Brother Hao’s gift of gab, I think at my show tomorrow, the audience definitely won’t all go to the bathroom at the same time!”

Wang Hao: “…”

Seeing how miserably this child was doing, so your show is just the time for them to go to the bathroom…

“Da Peng, ah,” Wang Hao said seriously: “Actually, I think there’s a lot of room for improvement in your crosstalk act, haven’t you properly thought about it?”

“Ah? There’s room for improvement?” Hearing what Wang Hao said, Yue Peng was also surprised: “My master said that’s about as good as I get, I can’t change talent. I can’t even get through this passage to this day!”

“I’m not talking about basic skills,” Wang Hao started explaining to Yue Peng: “You need to know, crosstalk has to progress with the times, this thing isn’t just about testing basic skills, you know?”

Holy shit, Brother Hao is going to give a lecture on crosstalk to Yue Peng!

A group of people immediately pricked up their ears, and Liu Huaqiang was especially alert–It’s not just anybody who gets to hear Brother Hao’s teachings, badass, no explanation needed!

“First of all, your basic skills are not solid, right?” Wang Hao said: “But that’s not a problem! If you’re not solid, there’s a solution for that! Just look at your appearance, chubby with small eyes, you look quite cute. If you can’t rely on skills to make a living, then rely on your looks!”

Hearing Wang Hao say that Yue Peng could make a living off his looks, Little Meng and a group of girls sitting nearby were instantly stunned!

This little chubby guy whose eyes are almost invisible when he smiles can survive on his looks?!

My heavens! Is the world about to end?!

“Brother Hao, you can’t be joking with me,” Yue Peng himself was shocked: “I can make a living off my looks?!”

“Absolutely,” Wang Hao decisively flashed a demon-like smile: “I reckon your future artistic style should embody two words: ‘courting death!’ There’s a saying that goes, ‘A tree without bark is sure to die; a man without shame is invincible.’ You need to take the principle of ‘the most shameless is invincible’ to the extreme! If you can do just this one thing to the utmost, you’re definitely going to be the top dog in the crosstalk world!”

The most shameless is invincible…

What sort of messy theories are these?!

Everyone present was completely stunned; Brother Hao was simply unparalleled–where on earth did he dig up such experience?! This Yue Peng, is it that the more shameless a person is, the more invincible they become?

“Bro… Brother Hao,” Yue Peng said, feeling very hurt, “Am I really that shameless…”

“That’s not derogatory, for an actor, this is performance, and it’s also a technical skill,” Wang Hao said, slapping Yue Peng on the shoulder with force, “I’m just giving an example. You can’t get the patter down, right?”

Yue Peng nodded, “Right.”

“Then, next time you do patter, just do this,” Wang Hao said, “For example, you say ‘steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tails, roasted duck, roasted chick, roasted goose…’ and then when you forget what comes next, what do you do? You widen your eyes, look shocked, cover your mouth with your hand, and then say: ‘Oh my goodness, I actually forgot the rest! Try it!'”

We’re trying this now?

Several people around them immediately became curious; they all wanted to know how this little chubby guy could make a living with his face…

“Will this really work?” Yue Peng was obviously still skeptical, but what Brother Hao said must be right, so he started practicing, “There’s steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tails, roasted duck, roasted chick, roasted goose…” and then he directly widened his eyes, looked shocked, covered his mouth, “Oh my goodness, I actually forgot the rest!” That shameless look on his face was ridiculously funny!

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Watching Yue Peng’s silly, cute behavior, the surrounding crowd burst into laughter!

Little Meng was almost leaning on Wang Hao, holding her stomach as she laughed, “Brother Hao, I can’t take it, this little chubby guy’s shameless look just makes me want to laugh!”

“Oh my goodness!” Yue Peng, full of disbelief, looked at Wang Hao, “Brother Hao, why did they all fall about laughing? I didn’t really do anything!”

The crowd fell about laughing again!

“You see, it works, doesn’t it?” Wang Hao laughed, “With your image, let me tell you, just push the ‘shameless’ factor to the max and you’ll be a huge hit!”

“I’ll give it a try!” Yue Peng’s eyes brightened the more he thought about it, “So, Brother Hao, will you come with me to a gig tomorrow?”

“That’s no problem,” Wang Hao nodded, “Let me tell you, with crosstalk, if you can say it, so can others, but even if their basics are good, what does that do? I dare say, majority can’t be as funny as you! Why? Because their looks aren’t up to par! Just by standing there with your shameless, cute expressions, you’re a natural comedian!”

Yue Peng instantly felt a surge of confidence!

It was the first time he’d realized that he could make a living with his face too!

“Got it, Brother Hao, I’ll practice a lot when I get home tonight, see how I can be even more shameless,” Yue Peng nodded fiercely, “I think it should work!” After saying this, he suddenly felt a bit deflated, “But Brother Hao, even if I act shameless, I don’t have a routine. If the crosstalk I tell isn’t funny, can just being shameless work?”

“I have more routines than I know what to do with!” If it were anything else, Wang Hao could be a bit concerned, but when it comes to routines, he can just grab one and it would be a hit. He said with a smile, “You just be at ease. When we go back, I’ll tell you a few; guaranteed to work! Oh, and from now on you need a stage name, ‘Da Peng’ doesn’t evoke humor!”

“Ah?” Yue Peng expressed his surprise, “Then what should I call myself?”

“Hmm…” Wang Hao feigned deep thought, then heh-heh laughed, “From now on you call yourself ‘Little Yueyue.'”

“Little Yueyue…” Yue Peng repeated it twice, then said, “Alright, that’s a good name, so I’ll be called Little Yueyue from now on!”

The surrounding group of people: “…”

That name was quite shamelessly chosen!

Liu Huaqiang truly opened his eyes today; he had to hurry back and report to his young master that they absolutely must not argue with Wang Hao–the guy was the epitome of ‘the shamelesser, the invincible’!

Wang Hao continued, “Now you’ve got a stage name, but you’re still missing the most important thing!”

“Ah?” Yue Peng was bewildered, “I’m still missing something? What is it?”

“A signature!” Wang Hao spouted nonsense with utmost seriousness, “Think about it, you’ve got a stage name now, you’ve got your own style, but you need a signature, right? You need your own theme song, right? Every time the performance ends, you need something to wrap it up! Something that makes the audience completely remember you!”

“Theme song!” Yue Peng was completely stunned, “I, a crosstalk performer, also need my own theme song?!”

“Absolutely!” Wang Hao grinned, “Your style is so shameless; you simply must have an even more shameless theme song to finish off, right?!”

“That’s it, that’s it,” Yue Peng nodded vigorously, “Then this theme song, what’s its name?!”

“I’ve already thought of the name for you!” Brimming with ideas, Wang Hao was quick to respond, “Just call it ‘The Song of the Fifth Ring!'”

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