Cultivation starts with picking up attributes
Chapter 81: Ch-81: Adventure is Death

Chapter 81: Ch-81: Adventure is Death

The silence that followed was the kind that didn’t dare be broken by mere mortals.

Dozens of cultivators stood frozen in their battle stances, swords and talismans half-drawn, completely unsure whether to bow, flee, or question their entire understanding of divine beasts and bloodlines.

Even the spiritual beasts in the surroundings—those lurking unseen in the toxic mist and red haze—shuddered and went still.

Lan Yueru stared wide-eyed at the masked man.

"Who is he...?"

Tian Shen, for once, had no quip. No sarcastic murmur or dismissive shrug.

Just silence.

Because Little Mei—chaotic, sleepy, dramatic Little Mei—had not once tried to climb off his shoulder.

In fact, she had hidden behind Tian Shen’s collar like a scared child.

That was new.

The masked man turned slowly, taking in the stunned expressions, the half-scorched scout, the pantsless elder still covering himself with a cracked fan, and finally Tian Shen himself.

His head tilted.

"You. What’s your name?"

"...Tian Shen."

A nod.

"Figures."

"Figures what?"

"That she’d pick someone troublesome."

The gourd mask turned slightly, catching the sunlight like a crooked smile.

"Tell me, Tian Shen. Do you want her?"

There was a sudden vacuum in the air, as if the world itself leaned in to hear his answer.

Little Mei peeked out from behind his shoulder, eyes wide. Even Lan Yueru paused mid-blade-draw, her lips parted.

Tian Shen blinked.

"...Want as in... keep her? Or... want as in...?"

"Want," the masked man said, stepping closer, "as in: claim her. Let her cause you endless trouble until your cultivation path is off the course."

"Uh..."

"She’s not evil, i sense. She’s not good, i guess. She’s just... idiotic."

He turned to the gathered factions and smiled beneath the mask.

"And you all thought you could bind that with bloodlines and rules."

Lady Huo’s hand trembled.

"That’s... impossible. she clearly feels surreal!"

The man chuckled.

"True."

A low groan escaped Tian Shen’s lips.

"So... you’re saying there’s nothing odd about her?"

"Correction."

The masked man raised a finger.

"She’s odd, but what exactly, i can’t guess. And now, you’re her designated manager."

Little Mei tilted her head innocently.

"Kyuu~"

’It means I’m special.’

’You lit a guy’s pants on fire for calling you a freeloader.’

’He called me a fox who steals lunch!’

’You did steal my lunch yesterday!’

"Kyuuu~, Kyuuuu~."

’I shared it with you. Sharing is love.’

Lan Yueru finally gave up and sat down on a rock, placing her sword beside her.

"You know what? I’ll take this over another tournament arc."

Tian Shen exhaled slowly. Then he faced the masked man, steeling himself.

"Alright. Let’s say I do want her. I’ll keep feeding her. I’ll keep protecting her. But what about them?"

He gestured to the three factions now in absolute disarray, torn between awe, religious terror, and bureaucratic panic.

The masked man sighed.

"You’ll have to prove you’re worth her companionship."

"Of course."

"In battle."

"Of course."

"Against all of them."

Tian Shen flinched.

"Wait—"

At once, golden runes flared across the basin. The masked man tapped his sandal against the earth—and a massive formation ignited under everyone’s feet.

Lady Huo shouted, "He’s sealing us in!"

"Good eye," said the masked man. "One chance. First to reach the check point, at the summit of the formation’s eye, wins the right to do the bidding."

Lan Yueru paled.

"Wait, we have to climb that thing?! It’s a vertical spiral death chasm!"

"Kyuuu~."

’I like it.’

Little Mei chirped.

Tian Shen gawked at her.

"i beta you do."

"I’ll be watching," said the masked man, walking to the center of the rune array. "Try not to disappoint. Or die. Or worse..."

He turned back briefly, eyes twinkling beneath the mask.

"Lose her to someone who thinks jerky means affection."

And then he was gone.

The play had begun.

A loud horn blared through the center, Spiritual pressure burst in every direction.

The factions scattered, their elites rushing toward the distant summit like arrows loosed from taut bows.

Tian Shen stood dumbfounded.

"...That just happened."

Lan Yueru stood beside him, adjusting her sword.

"Ready?"

"For what?! I didn’t sign up for this!"

"You fed her. That’s a contract."

"WHAT?!"

Little Mei twirled once on his shoulder, tail flaring like a royal banner.

’Let’s go, Master. My dignity awaits.’

Lan Yueru smirked.

"Think of it this way. If we win, no one can steal your foxy cuddly cutiepie."

Tian Shen looked at the summit.

He looked at the swirling clouds and vertical walls.

He looked at the dozens of elites now vaulting over jagged cliffs and flashing movement techniques with deadly precision.

Then he looked at Little Mei, who was currently trying to ride his head again.

"...Screw it."

He summoned his Qi.

"Let’s climb this damn thing."

And then, with Lan Yueru at his side and a war-fox on his head, Tian Shen launched forward into the trial of his life.

One that had absolutely nothing to do with cultivation realms or destiny.

But everything to do with the fact that somehow, this divine mistake had chosen him.

And the masked man?

Was now watching.

...

The moment Tian Shen leapt forward, the world tried to kill him.

The wind wasn’t wind. It was a howling, slicing force that threatened to skin cultivators alive if they weren’t wrapped in Qi.

The terrain wasn’t terrain. It was a puzzle of collapsing stone, mirrored ledges, and floating platforms that rotated without warning.

"Okay, okay—this is fine!"

Tian Shen yelled as he vaulted over a snapping bridge made entirely of translucent light.

Lan Yueru, right behind him, was already glowing with an inner flame, her sword slashing through a batch of descending wind talismans.

"This is not fine!"

She called.

"You didn’t tell me she came with platforming trials from hell!"

"She didn’t tell me either!"

"Kyuu~"

Little Mei chimed in, tail flowing like a banner.

’Adventure is love.’

"Adventure is death!"

The first hundred meters were chaos. Cultivators from the various factions—Scarlet Sect, Beast Pavilion, and the others—were now dashing across this vertical maze like rabid squirrels on drugs.

Some used talismans, others summoned spirit beasts, and a few brave ones tried brute force climbing.

Naturally, several had already fallen screaming into the void below.

Tian Shen dodged a spiraling stone wheel the size of a house, then narrowly avoided a hidden trap glyph that turned a platform into soap.

Lan Yueru cursed as she kicked off a crumbling ledge, catching herself mid-air with a Qi burst.

"I’m never trusting an ancient man in a gourd mask again."

"Oh? And yet you trust me."

Tian Shen grinned, despite the dirt smudges and wind-tangled his hair.

"I don’t," she shot back. "But you owe me dinner after this."

"Deal!"

They shot forward again.

Up ahead, a group of Azure cultivators was forming a bridge of flying swords.

Their leader, a pale young woman with grey eyes, noticed Tian Shen and Lan Yueru approaching and smirked.

"Obstacles aren’t meant to be shared."

She snapped her fingers. The flying swords buzzed—then turned, launching toward Tian Shen like metal wasps.

"Rude," he muttered.

But before he could react, Little Mei lifted her paw.

The swords froze mid-air.

Then turned.

And shot back.

The silver-eyed woman screamed and fell off the platform, caught barely by a teammate.

"Kyuuu~." Mei trilled.

’No one throws knives at my master.’

"Your what?" Tian Shen sputtered.

"You know what," Lan Yueru huffed. "I’m starting to enjoy her."

"You would."

Another hundred meters passed in a blur of cursed puzzles and mid-air combat.

They dodged a geyser of poisonous mist, crossed a gravity-inverted corridor (where Tian Shen’s robe flipped comically), and Tian Shen even had to carry Lan Yueru bridal-style for two seconds.

She didn’t complain.

He tried not to notice the way her eyes lingered just a second too long.

Eventually, the platforms narrowed. They reached the second checkpoint: a floating shrine ringed in flame and illusion.

A golden-robed monk stood at the entrance, bare-chested and gleaming with spiritual tattoos.

"The fox must be surrendered," he said calmly, raising one palm. "Only those unburdened by anomalies may proceed."

Tian Shen stopped.

Little Mei hissed softly.

’He smells like incense, bad ones.’

"Is that a real rule?"

Tian Shen asked.

The monk nodded.

"She is suspicious. She must stay here."

Lan Yueru narrowed her eyes.

"You’re scared of her."

"She will tilt the balance."

"She’s a walking catnap, not a fate-eating demon!"

"Kyuuu~." Mei sniffed.

’Rude.’

"Leave her or turn back."

Tian Shen looked between them. His lips pursed.

He walked up to the monk.

Then slapped his hand away.

"You want me to abandon her?"

He said softly.

"After all this?"

The monk’s eyes flared.

"Then perish—"

But a puff of smoke exploded from his robe.

Little Mei had vanished. So had the top knot on his head.

From behind Tian Shen, a giggle echoed.

"Kyuu~."

’Bald is karma.’

Lan Yueru snorted.

"I take it back. I love her."

The monk trembled.

"I... you... she must be... BANNED—"

Tian Shen didn’t wait. He and Lan Yueru surged past the shrine before the monk could recover, racing into the next section.

Higher and higher they climbed.

And the others weren’t far behind.

A trio from the Bone Lotus sect used corpse puppets to form a stairway of writhing limbs.

A Scarlet robe elder ignited the walls themselves, melting paths into the cliffs with fiery force.

And behind them all, that same gourd-masked man watched.

Amused.