Cultivation starts with picking up attributes
Chapter 80: Ch-80: She’s a con-artist

Chapter 80: Ch-80: She’s a con-artist

The next morning, the crimson haze above the hollows pulsed like a heartbeat—slow, heavy, and ominous.

Tian Shen awoke to warmth on his chest. Little Mei had firmly claimed him as her personal bed, snoozing with a peaceful smugness only a divine being—or a spoiled child—could manage.

Lan Yueru was already up, brushing her hair as she crouched on a nearby boulder.

The wind caught strands of her silver-blue locks, casting her silhouette like a sword poised at rest.

"Morning."

Tian Shen grunted.

"someone snores."

She replied smoothly.

"I do not."

"Kyuuu~."

’You do.’

Retorted Little Mei, eyes still shut but ears twitching with delight.

Tian Shen groaned.

Somehow, the fox now spoke in his head in smoother, if erratic, sentences.

Their bond had closed up again overnight—something to do with proximity, mutual intent, and possibly her licking his face while he slept. He wasn’t ready to unpack that.

Not that it mattered. The real storm was approaching.

Unbeknownst to them, in another part of the Crimson Hollows, a procession had arrived.

Golden palanquins floated over cracked obsidian ground, surrounded by elite cultivators clad in robes of red silk and burning sigils.

At their center walked a figure clad in white and flame—a woman with a crown of embers and seven floating spirit orbs spinning around her like planets.

Her name was Lady Huo Jiayan.

And she was pissed.

"Are you absolutely sure?"

She asked, voice like crackling tinder.

A sweating scout knelt before her.

"Yes, Lady Huo. That was unmistakable. Royal Lineage Blood Fox—undeniably not awakened."

Her narrowed eyes burned brighter.

"Where?"

"Southwestern quadrant of the Hollow. Near the old Drought King’s domain’s boundary."

She snapped her fingers. Flames licked up from the scout’s shoulders—but vanished before doing harm.

"Bring me this Royal Beast."

She said coldly.

"And bring me the idiot who’s corrupted it with mortal nonsense."

...

Back at the boundary of the Drought King’s domain, Tian Shen stretched.

The trio moved onward, soon arriving at an eerie circular basin—once the site of a legendary duel.

The air was thick with residual battle intent. Even Little Mei paused, fur standing on end.

And just then—

A shadow loomed above.

With a thunderous gust, six cultivators descended in unison, formation tight, robes billowing like infernos.

Behind them hovered a floating sedan glowing with divine runes.

Lan Yueru’s hand went to her sword.

Tian Shen stepped in front of her.

"Travelers?"

He tried hopefully.

"Silence, defiler."

Barked one of the guards.

Tian Shen blinked.

"Sorry?"

From the palanquin, Lady Huo Jiayan stepped out, eyes locked on Little Mei, who currently sat on Tian Shen’s head chewing a dried meat steak.

"That form... and that aura."

She pointed accusingly.

"You dare treat a Royal Beast as a pet?"

Little Mei blinked.

"Kyuuu?"

"You see—" The noblewoman hissed. "She doesn’t even speak! You’ve made her forget her bloodline!"

"Kyuuu?!"

"I didn’t do anything!"

Tian Shen protested.

"She talks to me, by the way."

"Spiritually?"

Gasped a female elder from the side.

"A Soul bond..."

Murmured another.

"Oh my god," whispered someone in awe. "He’s her soulmate."

"What?!"

Tian Shen and Lan Yueru shouted at once.

Little Mei, sensing chaos, climbed atop Tian Shen’s shoulder again with exaggerated elegance.

A moment later, she stuck her tongue out at the nobles.

They gasped.

"She insults us!"

"She rejects her kind!"

"She... she used the Royal Tongue for Mockery!"

"Kyuuuuu!"

She screeched proudly, then puffed out her chest.

Lady Huo’s eyes twitched.

"She has clearly been... defiled," she whispered furiously. "We will purify her."

Lan Yueru drew her sword.

"Touch her, and I turn you into roasted vegetables."

"Cutie," said Lady Huo without amusement. "You think you stand a chance against us?"

"But I definitely stand a chance against stupidity... and mockery."

Tian Shen muttered.

"We didn’t ask for this purification..."

Little Mei, meanwhile, performed a full tail curl on Tian Shen’s shoulder, then nuzzled him possessively.

The nobles nearly fainted.

"She nuzzles him!"

"She’s chosen a consort!"

"The ceremony—it’s begun!"

"What ceremony?!"

Tian Shen’s voice cracked.

Lan Yueru pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Is this... actually happening?"

Little Mei chirped proudly.

"Kyuuu~."

’They believe I am royalty. And I like this.’

’They’re going to kill us!’

Tian Shen hissed mentally.

"Kyuuuu~."

’A small price for my aesthetic triumph.’

More cultivators descended from the sky—at least two more factions now arriving.

One bore the sigil of the Sacrad Beast Hall; the other wore red-black robes with skeletal motifs.

Each immediately froze upon seeing Little Mei.

"The info... was true..."

"No, we sensed her aura first."

Barked Lady Huo.

"She sat on our scout’s head first!"

Countered a ghost-faced elder from the Ghoul group.

Tian Shen held up his hands.

"Wait, what does any of that have to do with m—?"

"THE CLAIM OF COMPANIONSHIP!"

They all shouted at once.

"Whoever bonds with her shall receive half her spiritual inheritance! The old laws are clear!"

Tian Shen paled.

"Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in a custody battle?"

Lan Yueru didn’t speak. She was laughing her heart out. Silently. Almost trembling.

Little Mei slowly climbed down to Tian Shen’s shoulder... and began grooming his hair.

Everyone gasped again.

Lady Huo staggered.

"She’s... cementing her possession!"

"She’s marking him!"

"She may have licked his **** probably!!"

The others all glared at the one who said the last part. Almost killing him with the stares.

"I AM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO A VOLCANO."

Tian Shen howled.

And then... it got worse.

From behind the crowd, a small elder stepped forward.

Clad in plain brown robes and covered in soot, he scratched his beard thoughtfully.

"I know that fox," he said. "Or at least... I’ve heard of her."

Everyone turned.

He squinted at Little Mei.

"If that’s who I think she is... she’s not the Royal Beast."

Everyone gasped.

"What?!"

"Then what is she?"

The elder sighed.

"She’s a Mischief Tail. A Trickster. The One-Who-Steals-Lunch."

Tian Shen gawked.

"The what?!"

"She may have once faked her bloodline to get free spiritual jerky from the Fate cultivator. She’s... she’s a con artist."

All eyes turned to Little Mei.

She had frozen mid-groom.

Very, very slowly, she turned her head to stare at the elder.

"Kyuuuu~."

’I don’t know any fate. And I only like master’s jerky.’

The elder visibly backed away.

"I-i could be wrong, yup, i am—"

Too late.

Flames flickered around Little Mei.

Her eyes glowed.

A furious fox with a wounded ego is not a rational creature.

Lan Yueru pulled Tian Shen behind a boulder.

"Should we stop her?"

"She just set that guy’s clothes will be on fire with her sneeze."

"Point taken."

In a massive puff of flame, Little Mei vanished.

When she reappeared, she was sitting calmly again.

The elder’s hair was gone.

So were his pants.

Everyone stared in awe.

"She is divine!"

"She punished him with embarrassment! The most brutal torment!"

"She’s more terrifying than I imagined," whispered Lady Huo, now pale.

Tian Shen facepalmed.

Lan Yueru sipped her tea.

"This is my life now," he muttered. "A misunderstood royal fox who may or may not be a scam artist, and three sects trying to steal her."

Little Mei hopped back into his arms with an utterly innocent face.

’Don’t worry. I choose you, master.’

He didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or run.

Tian Shen didn’t get a chance to decide.

Because the sky split open.

A booming ripple of pressure swept across the basin, silencing every voice and freezing every fluttering robe. Cultivators staggered, several falling to their knees as a divine aura descended like a blade pressing to every throat.

Even the ever-dramatic Lady Huo Jiayan gasped, her flames flickering uncertainly.

From above descended a single figure.

He wore no robes of office, no sigils of affiliation—only ragged pants, a torn fur cloak, and sandals that might once have belonged to a hermit. His face was obscured by a gourd-shaped mask, its expression painted in a crooked grin.

But when he landed, even the air dared not breathe.

Tian Shen instinctively stepped back, shielding Little Mei, while Lan Yueru bristled beside him.

The masked man’s voice was hoarse and amused.

"Still squabbling over that little fox?"

Lady Huo straightened, trying not to look like she’d almost peed herself.

"And you are...?"

The man didn’t answer. Instead, he crouched, stared at Little Mei with twinkling eyes, then reached out a finger—

Only to have it nearly bitten by the red ball of fur, not that she can harm a single hair of off the man.

"KYUU~!"

’Danger!’

The man pulled back, chuckling.

"Still the same attitude."

He stood, addressing the stunned crowd.

"You’ve all been tricked. That one’s no Royal Bloodline Fox."

"She isn’t?!"

Came the cry of twenty confused sect disciples in unison.

The man tilted his head, smile widening beneath the crooked grin of his gourd-shaped mask.

"No," he said, almost kindly. "She’s not ordinary."

The crowd held its breath.

"She’s worse."

Tian Shen blinked.

"...Worse?"

The man nodded.

"She’s delightfully ordinary, but with an ego the size of a divine realm. She has no royal blood, no destiny—but she acts like she does. And somehow... reality listens."

Little Mei fluffed her tails proudly.

"Kyuuu~"

’That’s called manifesting, mortal.’