Carnivals: Claimed By The Deranged Alpha Prince [BL]
Chapter 192: Addicted

Chapter 192: Addicted

Kim’s pov

"Fuck you, Xander. Fuck you big time!" I hurled at him as I crossed the room and letting myself into the bathroom, slamming the door after me.

I hated him because of how right he always is. I hated him because he was an asshole. I hated him because I still need him till date.

I stepped under the shower with my clothes still on, and as the cold water poured over me, I tried to slow my racing heart. Cold instantly seeped into my veins and I soon began to shiver, teeth clattering but that was better than me crying.

Xander was right. I do need a shower, because I reeked of Chris who fucked me in his limo after having me suck him off.

That thought made me retch in disgust and with tired limbs, I began to peal my wet clothes off, cold settling in my ribs.

I scratched over every inch of my body with my fingernails until my skin felt raw and red, but I still feel dirty when I shot the water off.

Would I never stop feeling dirty?

I stood still and tried not to think about anything right now, but that was hard to do seeing as my mind was always never at rest.

I stepped out of the bathroom, my entire body shaking with the gust of wind that hit me at once.

Xander was splayed in his bed and he motioned me over, and that irked me so much because I hated that I always need him and he was aware of that.

I ignored him and walked towards his closet instead, knowing he was currently staring at every inch of my naked body.

He has never been able to resist me since our first encounter, years ago.

"What are you doing?" He asked as I got his closet open and pulled out a bunch of clothes. I picked out a large hoodie along with a pair of pants with an elastic waistline.

"I’m leaving." I responded flatly, voice hoarse.

A chuckle rang through the room next, sound rattling over my nerves.

"Stop messing around and come get what you need." He drawled, words filling me with anger and disgust at myself.

"Go fuck yourself, Xander." I called out as I slipped his hoodie over my head, the length reaching the middle of my thighs. His scent instantly enveloped me along with some warmth and I slowly took in a deep breath.

I picked up the pants and was about to slip into it when a rattling sound filled the room and I instantly stiffened, heartbeat accelerating and mouth starting to water against my own will. That was a very familiar sound of a piece of plastic container being shaken, while the content of said plastic was what was making that melodic rattling sound.

In the next moment, another chuckle was filling the room before he spoke again. "Come get what you need. You know you want to."

When I first met Xander, I had just gotten into Carnivals at the age of fifteen.

Back then, I had been so broken and lost. So damaged and filled with so many baggage. That was when I met Xander, who was as damaged as I was, or even worse than I was.

That was when Xander introduced me to coke.

I had been lost, but somehow, with the aid of this white powder, I was able to pull myself together, lock away my monsters and create this doll-like version of myself.

The only downside of relying on that high to keep myself together whenever it felt like I was falling apart, was that it was very dangerous and addictive.

Dangerous because there’s the risk on getting too hooked on it that one wouldn’t be able to function at all without that high.

Addictive because the high and release it brings was so euphoric and perfect, which made it very easy to get addicted to... and I definitely didn’t want to get addicted.

Since the time I hit a bad place with it two years ago, I told myself I would stay away from it no matter what. And that was why since then, I completely stayed away from it– and from Xander... but that was till that night whereby I was on a mission with Eugene, the old principal, who Blaze ended up killing. My life was spared that night, but that night was also the starting point of the new list of problems I have right now. Which was why I broke my two years streak and went to Xander that night.

That was also why I found myself coming here tonight before I realized it.

A strong hand settled on my wrist, tugging me towards the bed and shoving me into it before I could blink. I bristled and was about to roll off when his legs trapped mine, and anger settled within my chest.

"The fuck? I said I was leaving!"

A simple eye roll. "I know you didn’t mean that."

I huffed and tried rolling out of his grip to no avail. "You don’t know anything, you sick fuck."

He threw his head back and laughed, then he reached for the familiar circular shaped plastic. I stiffened, mouth growing dry at once.

"I might not know a lot of things, but I know what you need. I always do." He drawled, shaking the container for emphasis and I found myself stiffening even more, heart beat accelerating and goosebumps rising on my skin.

With a heavy tongue, I watched him open the container and shake out a line of the white powder on his muscular arm, eyes knowing and calculating.

My hands began to shake, my breathing pattern turning shallow.

Every thing within me was pushing me to the line of euphoria waiting for me on his arm. It was practically calling out my name, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist it if I tried. Xander knew this, which was why he had a smirk on right now.

I love to believe that I wasn’t addicted to to the high and release coke brings me, but situations like this makes me start to think otherwise.

Xander moved his arm to the front of my face and I gave in to that urge, letting my eyes fall close as I sniffed in the line of coke. It rushed into my head at once, filling me up with an instant high and making all my thoughts and worries fall away.

I couldn’t feel anything when Xander fucked me tonight.

~~~

"This is never happening again." I informed me as I slipped my shoes on. He rolled his eyes as he lit his blunt and took a deep whiff in.

"Whatever. You’re gonna come crawling back anyway." He breathed out and I stiffened, a wave of mortification, shame and anger rushing through my mind at once.

"Fuck you, asshole." I snapped as I picked up my phone and shoved it into my pocket but he only laughed.

"When you come to me next, like we both know you will, I’m gonna make you crawl on your knees and beg for it before I give my precious stash to you." There was a sick glint in his eyes as he spoke.

I rolled my eyes and slipped on a large shirt which belonged to him. The hoodie of his which I wore last night was completely ruined because he fucked me in it.

"I can get coke anywhere, I’m pretty enough to get it for free at that." I reminded him and he snorted as he raked a hand through his hair.

"Sure you can, but we both know you need me to give it to you, and fuck you after like you’re some drugged up whore– which we both know you’re not." He was basically gloating at this point and I wished I could slap his face right now.

He was right once again. I really do need him to give it to me whenever I crave for that high. I know that because I’ve tried to get high on it on my own, but it had felt really horrible.

"You don’t know anything, Xander. Instead of worrying about me and if I’d come to you next time, you should instead worry about the fact that you’re returning to school today and would have to be in the same space as Blaze." I reminded him and he visibly stiffened, blunt slipping out of his mouth.

"Now why would you bring that up right now?" He demanded, scowling and I shrugged.

"What? It’s the truth. The sports competition was last night and the normal students have all returned to school last night. I’m sure none of the special students returned back yesterday, which means they’d all return back to school today– and you’re a part of the special student."

When he still remained silent, I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Don’t tell me you aren’t resuming today. Are you still afraid of Blaze? Of what he might do to you again? Or is this about your father?"

He bristled this time and then he pointed at the door. "Get lost, Kim."

I snorted and folded my arms. "Why? You don’t wanna talk about it? Technically, I told you to stay away from that boy, didn’t I? I mean, I understand that you’re only doing what your father asked you to, but surely you didn’t think it was a wise decision to cross blaze, did you?"

I continued but he scowled as he got off his bed and practically shoved me out of his room, slamming his door in my face.