Bug Abuse? I Swear I'm Just Playing Normally!
Ch. 32 - Great Wall of Walnuts, and the Mega Mushroom

The ghost tried to go around, but these freakishly durable wall-nuts weren’t slow. No matter which way it turned, it was blocked. The three big brothers stood in a square, vacant-eyed and silent, but somehow completely unbreakable.

And then the Gatling Pea caught up.

Rat-a-tat-tat!! It opened fire again, bombarding the ghost and keeping it pinned.

Bai Wan, meanwhile, reached into his pocket and pulled out a red mushroom—the Mega Mushroom he’d exchanged for with Mario Coins the previous night.

He touched the sunflower again, summoning another big wall-nut. Then, eyes solemn, he declared:

“Formation—Four-Nuts Sealing Art!”

At his command, the four wall-nut bros shuffled into position, one on each side of the ghost, encircling it completely with their vacant stares.

The ghost twitched. Those glassy stares were somehow unnerving.

It tried jumping. But mid-air, it froze—because that young man, still hiding behind it just moments ago, had leapt too.

And now… he was huge.

Bai Wan, now five or six times larger than normal, floated above with a red cap perched on his head.

From high above, he stomped down.

“Third Gear…Gomu Gomu no…Gigant Stamp!”

Whoosh!

The ghost blinked at the descending shoe.

How dare he?! So what if he’s bigger?!

The ghost cruelly stretched out its hand, intent on ripping the dangling human’s leg clean off—only to feel an overwhelming force the moment its hand touched the sole.

BBBAAAANG!

Its expression turned to utter disbelief.

Then it was smashed straight into the ground. Even worse, it had been flattened—crushed into a little pancake of ghost goo.

Everyone stared in disbelief. 

Luo Ya especially, her face utterly stunned as she gawked at Bai Wan.

What the hell are these absurd powers…?! He wasn’t even using any items to fend off the ghost!

This guy… this guy named Liu Tong… is he really a rookie?! Impossible. Not even veteran players could pull this off.

Even Su Yuening, who had some idea of what Bai Wan could do, looked at him in a daze.

What’s he trying to do… solo the ghost?

So this was the so-called strongest newcomer—"Family". Absolutely, absurdly strong.

Bai Wan shrank back to normal size and returned to Su Yuening’s side.

“You okay?”

“Y-Yeah… Is it dead?” she asked, eyes wide.

“Of course not. Ghosts don’t die. That’s basic knowledge,” Bai Wan replied matter-of-factly.

“True…” Su Yuening nodded slowly. But Bai Wan had just gone so over-the-top that it almost felt like he could kill one.

Bai Wan was just about to speak when the ghost—crushed flat only seconds ago—pulled itself back together. Wearing a look of pure malice, it sank its teeth into the wall-nuts, gnawing hungrily as it prepared to break through and devour everyone whole.

Bai Wan frowned.

Tough bastard…

Even getting stomped by the Mega Mushroom only held it off for a little while. This guy—Lin Yuan, post-mortem—was unexpectedly vicious.

But… it didn’t matter. Fighting the ghost was really just a test of his own combat capabilities. If he could beat it, great. If not, no big deal.

Actually, ever since seeing that second letter from the ghost wife, he’d started forming a theory about this ghost’s murder pattern.

He turned to Su Yuening and said, “I’ve got a guess. Want to try it with me? About this ghost’s killing pattern.”

“What did you figure out?” Su Yuening asked, intrigued.

“Don’t you think something’s off?” Bai Wan said. “The ghost wife mentioned ‘love’ way too many times in her letters.”

“I noticed that too,” Su Yuening nodded. “She kept saying love could dispel all misfortune… both letters mentioned it.”

No normal person would repeat that same kind of phrase twice. It felt off. People don’t talk like that.

“So, what if that’s actually the dungeon giving us a hint?” Bai Wan suggested. “A clue to survival—so it kept repeating it.”

“You think the key to survival is… love?” Su Yuening blinked.

“Yup. The letter said love could dispel all misfortune. So maybe it can also dispel ghosts,” Bai Wan smiled.

Su Yuening thought about it. “Possibly… but do we have any proof?”

Bai Wan nodded. “Remember how the ghost broke into each of our rooms the first night?”

She did. Bai Wan had pulled her into the sewer to escape it.

“Well, it broke into my room too. At the time, I thought this ghost didn’t follow any pattern—it was just killing on sight. That’s common in unsolvable dungeons. The difficulty spike made sense.”

“But after hearing what Wang Jian said,” Bai Wan continued, “something felt off. He said the ghost disguised itself as his girlfriend to trick him into opening the door…”

“Isn’t that… unnecessary? Ghosts can open doors anyway, right?”

Su Yuening’s eyes widened. She hadn’t thought of that.

Why did it pretend to be his girlfriend?

“Assuming Wang Jian wasn’t lying—which he had no reason to do—then the ghost couldn’t enter his room. It had to impersonate his girlfriend to get in.”

“So the ghost treats Wang Jian differently than us. And what’s the key difference? That’s the point of the game. That’s the ghost’s murder condition…”

“Love,” Su Yuening murmured, eyes wide. “Because they’re a couple?”

Bai Wan nodded. “You’ve noticed, right? There are six of us—three men, three women. Probably not a coincidence. More likely the system’s arrangement.”

“Lin Yuan and Xinran were obsessed with love, so it kinda makes sense they wouldn’t harm couples. That’s probably its condition for killing.”

The more she heard, the more Su Yuening’s eyes sparkled.

He’s still a bastard, but he really is smart.

“So if we pretend to be a couple, the ghost won’t target us,” Bai Wan concluded.

Su Yuening hesitated. “Can we really fake that? What if the ghost sees through it?”

“No worries,” Bai Wan said confidently. “Even Wang Jian and Luo Ya counted as a couple. The ghost’s pretty easy to fool.”

“…Alright…”

At that moment, the ghost was nearly done chewing through the walnuts.

Seeing this, Bai Wan turned to Su Yuening and said with utmost seriousness:

“Yuening, I know this might sound sudden, but I can’t hide it anymore. I fell for you the moment we met. But I really fell in love when the wind blew and your beautiful white hair smacked you in the face. You were so sexy in that moment. Please, let me give you a nickname—White-Haired Weirdo.”

“So… will you be my girlfriend, White Weirdo?”

Su Yuening: “…”