Bug Abuse? I Swear I'm Just Playing Normally!
Ch. 28 - Peashooter and the Wall-Nut

Whoosh! 

For a few seconds, Bai Wan felt like he was on a roller coaster, sliding through the water pipe. As he neared the exit, he steadied himself and cautiously poked his head out.

At that moment, Su Yuening was lying sideways on her bed, spacing out.

Suddenly, a head emerged from the floorboard beneath her bed.

"Ah!!!"

Startled, Su Yuening instinctively pulled out a Blood-Seal Tag and slapped it forward.

"It's me! It's me!!" Bai Wan quickly cried out upon seeing the cursed tag aimed at him.

Su Yuening hesitated for a moment and lowered her hand, eyeing Bai Wan warily. "Bai Wan? Why are you here? You're not some disguised paranormal entity, are you?"

"I'm not!" Bai Wan said hurriedly.

But Su Yuening backed up a few steps, still wary. "That's exactly what a paranormal entity would say."

Bai Wan: "…"

Su Yuening held up the Blood-Seal Tag and demanded, "Use just one word to summarize your social life growing up."

Bai Wan paused, then cautiously offered, "Or… orphan?"

Su Yuening relaxed visibly and let out a breath. 

"Okay, it's really you."

Bai Wan: "…"

He had proven his identity, but for some reason, he didn’t feel good about it at all.

"So… why did you pop out of my bed?" Su Yuening looked baffled, wondering if a para-anomaly was messing with her mind.

Bai Wan was about to explain when a sound suddenly came from outside the door.

Creak.

The doorknob started turning.

Su Yuening’s expression tensed. She gripped the Blood-Seal Tag tightly. A paranormal entity was right outside.

Bai Wan’s first thought was: I wonder if the cooldown’s over. Can I do another dance?

He forced himself to snap out of it.

No, no—this is a paranormal entity, not a prize chicken. Stay sharp!

But… if the cooldown was up…Maybe just one dance?

While he was having his internal debate, Su Yuening had already stepped in front of him protectively, Blood-Seal Tag in hand.

Though she was scared, she stood her ground. Bai Wan was just a newbie, while she was already a seasoned player. It was her responsibility to protect him. 

Or perhaps… it was just because she was his friend.

Su Yuening had always liked helping others since she was a child. Because of that, people often called her foolish, naive, or even a sanctimonious pushover—but she never paid them any mind. 

So what? She simply did what she loved, nothing more. If doing what you love makes you a fool, then there are no smart people in this world.

Bai Wan paused, a little touched. Aside from his family, no one had ever protected him before.

Still… that didn’t mean she could block his way to dancing, right?

He was just about to ask her to step aside when—

Clack.

The doorknob suddenly turned.

Fooo—A chilling gust of air drifted into the room.

Su Yuening tensed, ready to activate the Blood-Seal Tag.

But then, the sunflower on Bai Wan’s shoulder suddenly beamed.

Pop!

A massive two-meter-tall walnut appeared out of nowhere and blocked the door.

…???

Even Su Yuening was stunned.

What in the hell is that?!

The paranormal entity, who had been smiling maliciously, ready to slaughter, swung open the door—only to be greeted by a giant blank-eyed… thing, staring straight at it.

It froze, baffled, seemingly trying to figure out what this was.

A human? Has the human race really evolved this grotesquely while I was away for a few months?

That couldn’t be the case…right?

The entity tentatively approached the walnut and bit into it.

The result? It was immediately startled—because even as half its body was chewed through, the hulking nut didn’t react at all. Not a single blink, not a twitch of its lifeless gaze. It was like biting into an inanimate object.

What the hell is this thing? This is actually creeping me out! Ahh! So creepy!

It bit down a few more times, nearly eating half the walnut’s torso—but the guy just kept staring dumbly. At this point, the entity began to question reality.

Since when did humans evolve to be more terrifying than us?

Then, behind the walnut, a small green figure peeked out—timid, shy, nervously clutching the remains of its tanky companion while eyeing the paranormal entity with cautious eyes.

What is it now?! What is that?

The paranormal entity started to feel out of touch with the times.

Then the timid little thing aimed its mouth directly at it—and suddenly, its maw expanded like a black hole.

Bang!

A pea the size of a tennis ball shot out and nailed the entity in the chest.

Boom!

It staggered back several steps, dumbfounded.

What?! Humans shouldn’t be able to attack me without tools or cursed items!

As it reeled in disbelief, another pea shot toward it.

Thwack! Thwack!

Though the firepower was weak, the rapid shots left the entity flustered—especially with a stoic walnut tank standing guard like a bodyshield. Breaking in suddenly proved more difficult than expected.

Meanwhile, Su Yuening was completely stunned by the scene in front of her. She rubbed her eyes, but the absurdity of this reality wasn’t going anywhere.

She had just watched Bai Wan’s sunflower flash a smile and summon a gigantic walnut to block the door. Then a pea shooter popped out from behind and began hammering the paranormal entity.

Is that… a Peashooter and Wall-nut?!

Plants vs. Zombies was wildly popular. Even if she hadn’t played it herself, she’d at least heard of it.

She looked at the sunflower swaying on Bai Wan’s shoulder.

No wonder it looked familiar. It really is the sunflower from Plants vs. Zombies!

Su Yuening stared at Bai Wan, eyes full of disbelief.

Is this his character skill?

Absolutely insane… By design, character skills wouldn’t consume paranormal coins, and yet the summoned Wall-nut and Peashooter had just held off a full-blown paranormal entity. 

And it seemed this sunflower could summon even more plants? No wonder the forums hailed him as the most mysterious newbie in history.

But… isn’t Bai Wan’s ability supposed to be the one that makes doors disappear?

Su Yuening looked at Bai Wan with even more curiosity.

Suddenly, Bai Wan stepped up, grabbed her hand, and said, "The Wall-nut won’t hold it for long. Come with me."

"To where exactly?" she asked blankly. "The door's blocked by that entity!"

Bai Wan gave her a casual smile.

"To the sewer, of course.”

"Oh, right—I forgot to mention. I’m actually a plumber."

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